Well here goes it!

[RWhiz]

Well it's been a rocky couple weeks, but after some tough decisions we are going to stay on plan and move in together next week! Earlier in this thread I mentioned that actually closing the distance is tougher than you would think, and when there are extended families it can be very stressful. Anyway things are moving forward, Sunday I fly to Seattle for the week and we drive her car and the moving truck here the following Friday. Wow, this happened pretty fast. A week from next Friday I will no longer be in a LDR.

[5518MilesApart]

Thanks Michelle! Yes the Seattle area real estate market is strong, she might actually like me too which I don't understand but she'll be living with me full time by the second week in June.

Hey, quick word of advice for those couples living apart, make a plan, feel the struggle it will take, and then execute the plan. It's not easy, but I can't think of anything more important right now than my relationship with my GF Lisa, and the fact that we're following through with our plan.

Look, I know it's not easy, but it's do-able, go for it and don't look back. If Lisa and I break up, well it's worth the risk, if we're together for life than great, but please don't linger in relationship purgatory, do it or do not!

Thank you so very much for the advice, and I'm still cheering you two on! I know every phase of a relationship has its ups and downs, but yeah, it will all work out somehow!

[RWhiz]

Thanks 5518!

Well we moved in yesterday, so I am no longer in a LDR. Kind of wild. I leave work today to go home to my GF. Trip-y!!

[RWhiz]

Hey guys, I wanted to follow up after we've been living together for a bit.

First off, it is HARD to close the distance, and I can see why a high percentage of LDRs fail after the couple moves in together.
My ex wife and I had a few properties, I ended up with a dumpy house near my work which hasn't been kept up with for years and the condo in Lake Tahoe. My GF and I (and her son) are living in the house trying to fix up the old house to put on the market maybe next year, anyway I didn't realize how particular she would be living in a bit of a crappy house, the condo is pretty luxury though. Anyway she is upset a lot about her new digs, but to her credit she's put in a few thousand dollars and a crap ton of work making it better.

I can operate pretty loosely, I'm and electrical engineer who works primarily in mining, I make a good living and don't mind "shooting from the hip" as a life plan. She likes security and a definite long term stable plan and living arrangements. We didn't figure this out until we moved in together.

I had to adjust to living with her 18YO son. Not that he's a bad kid, just didn't have a strong direction in life, and all of a sudden he was living in my house, no job(understandable, he has one now) but I had no idea how to deal with that. It's way better now BTW.

She has had a bit of a hard time finding a job, she is actually still employed at her old job in WA for now but that will end here in a month or so. She's frustrated with that, but I believe she just thought she'd get a job right away. I told her it's fine to take a break, I make good money, she made a good bit of coin on the sale of her house, so chill out and find something when it comes up. Again this is part of her not wanting an undefined life plan, while I'm good with it.

The "honeymoon is over" for a year about we visited each other a couple time a month and enjoyed a little honeymoon each time, now she lectures me about taking off my shoes when I come in the house. Honestly she did buy new carpet for our house, so I can't complain too much, but I was a single guy for quite some time! Haha!

She has cats, I never had cats, only German Shepards, big difference, one would lay down his life for my son, the other poops in the house in a box I now have to clean. I'm getting used to this but I'll never be a cat person, but I'm probably not going to shoot these two cats either.

There are other things too, I'm lazy, (I design automation systems so it's a good trait to have) she thinks house work is "fun" which might mean she's crazy! Haha! But she gets a little nagg-y here and there on the subject. Also I was used to living alone for awhile too, so it might not be as bad as I'm making it out to be!

I travel a bunch for work, and if we pick up her plane ticket she can tag along, and get the rest covered. I don't think she was ready to fly to Germany on two weeks notice for not a lot of money and get the perks of being my guest. She had a great time BTW, but on the way home she way thinking about the 9 days she lost getting the house better! Haha! Shooting from the hip, vs. defiant life plan!

All in all we are navigating our relationship through this period and are very much in love with each other. This happened a little fast for me, mostly due to her house selling so fast, and I believe we'll be fine, I can now see the stresses that closing the distance puts on the relationship. I don't regret her moving in so please don't take this post like that, maybe just a warning about finding some hurdles after the distance is closed

[Redheart14]

Everyone has hurdles after closing the distance, so what you’re going through is normal. Glad to see you’re navigating it well.