#July 2019

[RWhiz]

Awesome dude! Sounds like you're doing everything right. Good luck.

[2Rocky]

Attended her son's Graduation and packed the Moving POD last week.



My daughter and her dog hit it off. He adores her...


Drove down together last week with the dog. Took 2 days . Yesterday the POD arrived.











She has already started marking her territory.

[2Rocky]

So it has been over a month since we closed the distance. There are definitely some things that are different this summer than last summer.

1) Financial stresses. Moving is expensive and it put a big dent in ML's Savings. She has had a delay in some income and one stream of income is gone. That puts pressure on her to balance her spending accordingly.

2) Increased responsibility at her job. This year she is management and it has been a steep learning curve. Last summer she had more flexibility in time, now she has to accommodate her staff and her time flex suffers.

3) There is no sense of "make the most of our time together" since there is no deadline 2 months away that she is leaving. But we are in the habit of making the time together high quality and that can get exhausting over weeks and months.

4) She is having to adjust to a new place without her old social circle close by. She feels like her friends are just my friends and she doesn't have her "own friends". She misses her kids (19/20 years old). The ranch is rather isolated, so running to the store is not a spur of the moment decision. Nearest store is 10 miles away...

5) Time apart and using it wisely. Before that time was abundant and we had to do things to keep ourselves busy and engaged. I did my housework, and projects to take my mind off the distance. I exercised more. Now we spend more of our previous free time together and there is less incentive to do Chores. My laundry is piling up and the house isn't as clean because we would rather take the dog for a walk up to the pond or have a date night.

6) We are STILL moving IN...Seems like there are still pictures to be hung, and boxes to unpack and "Oh we have two of these" on appliances and furniture and kitchen items.

7) We are around each other A LOT. There aren't as many things to talk about because we are experiencing the same places and events.

8) We feel each other's stress much more in person. You can hide it for a weekend visit, or on the phone, but being together we are attuned to one another so you feel it if something is bothering the other person.

9) We are a couple when it comes to social events as opposed to single's. That changes the dynamics of social situations when it comes to spur of the moment invites. All of a sudden you have to consider the other person's schedule and mood.

10) Many of my friends are now colleagues of hers. It changes the way I feel about interacting with them. I don't want my social relationship to affect her work relationships. I don't often socialize with my colleagues, so that balance I find challenging.

11) Time apart now is actually HARDER. It was like that Post visit depression feeling. Even though you know they are coming back in a few days, and not a month or two...

12) We appreciate the little things about having the other person around a lot more. Waking up with each other, having coffee together, fixing dinner for two instead of eat one, and keep leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

13) The daily routine is changed. But there IS a routine...

14) Being a couple is really rewarding, and eye opening on some levels. #couplesh*t is a joke we have with each other when it comes time to do unromantic things we never did before like clean hair out of a drain more often, See each other in unflattering situations, Overhear each other's bodily functions and dysfunctions etc.... It also is a reference to the sickenly sweet stuff we do together.

[RWhiz]

Experienced the same last June. There is a serious adjustment period. One thing we've never lost so far is the affection we still show for each other, but I'm 10 pounds heavier, my Mountain bike isn't getting ridden as often, and we have had real fights, healthy ones but didn't have them when we lived in different states! Sounds like you're having a great time!

[Lacey]

I love this!! Ive just joined fairly recently and just read about your journey. I cannot wait for my distance with my SO to be closed so we can move on to this phase. Congratulations to you both!

[2Rocky]

Update .:

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of our first in person meeting. We had a nice dinner out the weekend prior and I made damn sure to send a bouquet to her work.

WE had a frank discussion about marriage, and I told her that I felt like she was putting pressure on me for a proposal. I asked her what it was about marriage that she wanted....The ceremony, the ring , the spousal rights.....?

She said frankly that she really wanted a ring.

and I told her frankly that I had very specific financial goals I wanted to achieve before that time and I would tell her what they are if she wanted to know. She declined to know....


Little does she know that of the 3 checkoffs 1 has been checked , 1 will happen in June and the third check point is about 33% complete.

They were
1) unsecured debt at $0
2) 2 years of continuous cohabitating
3) Savings at $XX,XXX between the two of us.


So there is an update...