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    College?

    So we're now at the point in our relationship that we know for sure that we want to be together and would like to close the distance as soon as possible. The one thing holding us back is school.

    I'm sure a lot of you have had the same problem. Not knowing what grad school you'll be able to get into. Not having a job or any source of income. Possibly not even knowing what kind of career you want at all. All of these problems combine to make it impossible to make any definite plans for closing the distance. What are your stories?



    Here's mine:

    He's an undergrad in Washington state. Still has 2.5 years left of school, and then the graduate program he wants to get into takes 8 years to complete. I live in Texas, and I recently graduated with a BA in Linguistics and Asian Cultures and Languages (Japanese) and a minor in English. I picked these majors because they were ones I was interested in and I had no idea throughout college what I wanted to do with my life. Unfortunately, they're rather useless. I don't speak Japanese well enough to get a job with it, and I learned through studying abroad that I did not enjoy living in Japan anyway. (Plus that would take me even further from my SO!)

    After having a few months off of school, I've now decided that I'd like to pursue a graduate degree in Speech Pathology which would take another three years - one to get the prerequisites and another two for the MS. My parents supported me through my first 4 years of college, but as I have 3 younger sisters, they can't keep paying for me to go to school. If I applied to a school in Washington, we could end the distance this fall, but there is basically only one school close to him that has my program. What if I went there and took the prereqs, then didn't get accepted to grad school there? At that point, it would be my only option. Also, I'd be paying out-of-state tuition if I went there, which is often double the cost.

    My tentative plan at the moment is to take the prereqs here in Texas (which means at least another year and half apart ), and then apply to grad schools in both Washington and Texas to see where I get accepted. If I do get accepted in Washington, we could get an apartment together while we go to school. No idea how we'll pay for it though If I don't get accepted in Washington, that means at least another 2.5 years apart. On top of that, we have no idea where he'll end up going to grad school after he graduates.

    As for right now, I'm working on getting a part-time job here, so I can start saving as much money as I can. The whole thing is incredibly frustrating though, and having absolutely no idea what the future holds is pretty stressful for somebody that likes to know what's coming. He handles it a lot better than me because he hates planning ahead anyway :P

    #2
    I feel the same way about things. We're both rather stuck where we are due to income or lack thereof. I'm stuck at my University for at least another 3 years, probably more. He has a stable job and a lease signed with a friend for a while still, and a band where he is that he's very committed to for the time being.
    It is the wanting a plan that really gets to you...not having any idea of what will happen or when. And my SO is the same, in that he doesn't really plan ahead either, lol.

    Sometimes to deal with it I'll make up a plan. Just write it down and pretend it's real. It gives me that something to hold onto, and it is actually a possible plan, just not practical, so there is that glimmer of hope that gets me through the bad days, when I really just need something.
    Once in a while I'll even pretend we're actually finally moving in together, and look for apartments on craigslist, and plan out how I would set it up and what furniture each of us would bring.

    I hope everything works out as far as getting into the grad school near him :] that would be so awesome!!

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      #3
      So are you planning to move to him then? ^^

      Sometimes it frustrates me that he doesn't feel the need to plan because if neither of us make one, how the heck will we ever end up together? :P When it comes down to it though, I know he's willing to make sacrifices for us to be together. He did put off college for a semester to do an internship in Florida together, after all And for my current plan, I was worried about where I would live while I went to school in Washington (the school I'd be going to is about 100 miles from his) and he immediately suggested getting an apartment halfway in the middle (even though it would lengthen his already long commute).

      As for making fake plans, I'm always disappointed if they don't pan out I hate getting my hopes up like that.

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        #4
        I'm currently doing my bachelors and a local university and working part time. It's working pretty well so far, as my SO works full time and we split the cost of plane flights for me. Plus he gets flown here occasionally by the company we work for, so his visits here are all paid for, more or less.

        However, after I graduate things are going to get tricky. I have two careers I'm deciding between, both of which require and extra two years of intense schooling. I will have not much time for visits and absolutely no money. He's looking into doing a MBA here part-time while still working, but there's a lot of if's in that equation. Not to mention he lives in a fairly small town, and the two careers I'm interested in don't have a lot of job opportunities in his area. Put it all together....we've got logistical issues. Hopefully we can work them out.


        "You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty."
        -- Anonymous

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          #5
          I've actually made a thread about it

          Voila, my story.


          I hate not knowing, when we'll finally be able to close the distance

          Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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            #6
            I think you should take the prereqs. in Texas because you're going to need to save up all this money while you can esp. with a recession :/ well I don't know about Texas!! hehe I heard the unemployment rate was low! But I think you should stay in Texas for the prereqs. plus if you move to Washington will you be able to find a job to help pay for it? Also you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket. Overall, I think you should take the safe route. Personally, I'm a little worried too like if I find a job in my honey's area will it be a good salary for me where I can live off of and save off of . I'm not asking for much but I definitely don't want to do min. wage either esp. with a college degree

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              #7
              @LostInLove - I hope everything works out for you Do you know where you want to go to school yet? We're lucky that we both live in big towns and interested in careers that can be used pretty much anywhere. From the beginning, we've both said we're willing to move, but unfortunately we've never been able to work out a when/where since so much is still up in the air.

              @Dziubka - I feel your pain! It's so hard to find a career in linguistics that an opportunity like that is hard to pass up, but the thought of adding extra years to the distance is pretty depressing.

              @xopookie - Yeah, that was really just wishful thinking There were too many if's in the equation to justify moving there at this point. I really wish there was a way I could end the distance now though. Have you done any research to find out more about the outlook of your career in your SO's area? I know that I would get paid more if I moved to my boyfriend's state, but the cost of living is a lot higher there, so it probably evens out.

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                #8
                Sort of similar. I've got up to 5 more years before I start working(1 yr undergrad, hopefully 1 yr abroad research in China, then 3 yrs law school). After all that, ideally to me right now I would choose to work in California still. But I haven't applied to law schools yet, and if someone good on the east coast takes me, maybe after time there I would choose to relocate?...

                He's...not as ambiguous, but problem is its harder. He's looking to save some money now to visit me in the future, and then perhaps move here to America. (He lives in China). He wants to open some kind of fitness business, but the problem is he has absolutely no business education. And then of course since he's from outside the US, there is the hairy issue of immigration.

                We're a very young couple, so there is no definite "we want to be together" yet, but I just want a "I can finally date him close distance" to come sooner, damn it! Hopefully I get that year long scholarship...it would be amazing.

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