Advice on how to bring it up?

[heatherotic]

My SO is in the Navy so if we want to close the distance in the next 4 years, I'll have to be the one to move. I'm fine with that and excited to go somewhere new.

The only problem I'm having is how to tell my mom. See, she's my best friend and she's been the only consistent thing in my life for the last 20 years. I'm sure she has an idea that we want to close the distance at some point and she knows that he's in the Navy and all that. I just don't know how to bring up the subject without losing her.

My plan is that I'll move with him at the beginning of next year wherever he's sent to. I'll continue moving with him when he's not deployed until his contract thing is up. If he wants to re-enlist, I'm fine with that. And when we're done with the Navy, I would like us to move to the halfway point between our hometowns.

So my whole point is if you've done this already, how'd you do it?
Do you have any advice as to how I should bring it up?
If your family wasn't supportive, how did/would you handle it?

[KatyCakes10]

It was a bit different for me because he is the one moving to me, but in order for us to do that we've decided to get married since it's international. My mom is my best friend, so I was really worried how she would take it. He decided to ask her before he proposed which I appreciated. He told me she cried, but now she's happy about it. She considers him a part of our family now.I think you should just be honest with her, she's your mom. She's going to love you no matter what you do, but she'll worry. Good luck, it will be ok!

[Mara]

I sort of just eased it into conversation slowly. haha. She knows that he doesn't live here and she also knows he'll be finishing his graduate degree soon and I just sort of mentioned in passing that when he finishes his degree we'll both be moving to wherever he finds work. It went over a lot better than I thought it would. Though I suspect it may be because it's still a little short of ten months away and I'm not sure if she thinks we'll last that long, but I digress. It's your mom though, don't worry. She's going to love you regardless even if you moving away would make her sad.

[heatherotic]

Well, I don't have to worry about "easing into it" or leading her to the topic anymore. My SO decided he was gonna throw me in, headfirst. Um, babe, hate to break it to you, but I can't swim.

He texted my mom last night and said "Heather says it's time to bring you in the loop. If I can go home, we're going to try to get a place together." Fine, tell her that's what YOU WANT, but DON'T say it like that and don't say it like we're already looking at apartments! So I got to wake up to the text she sent him/me in reply, explaining how I have no car [really? I didn't know that.] and no college education [ouch, mom. True, but it stings a lot worse when you say it.]

Then, he decided it would be funny to tell me his ship got attacked this morning and he was in the hospital. When he told me he was playing and I flipped out, he told me to let him have "fun" with it. Oh, ok, because making me want to puke with worry as soon as as I wake up if "fun." Sure, babe, have all the fun you want.

Omg, I'm PISSED.

[Jrapp]

Then, he decided it would be funny to tell me his ship got attacked this morning and he was in the hospital. When he told me he was playing and I flipped out, he told me to let him have "fun" with it. Oh, ok, because making me want to puke with worry as soon as as I wake up if "fun." Sure, babe, have all the fun you want.

Omg, I'm PISSED.

Uhm, that's not funny. I'd be so pissed. I'm sorry Heather!

[Mara]

Well, I don't have to worry about "easing into it" or leading her to the topic anymore. My SO decided he was gonna throw me in, headfirst. Um, babe, hate to break it to you, but I can't swim.

He texted my mom last night and said "Heather says it's time to bring you in the loop. If I can go home, we're going to try to get a place together." Fine, tell her that's what YOU WANT, but DON'T say it like that and don't say it like we're already looking at apartments! So I got to wake up to the text she sent him/me in reply, explaining how I have no car [really? I didn't know that.] and no college education [ouch, mom. True, but it stings a lot worse when you say it.]

Then, he decided it would be funny to tell me his ship got attacked this morning and he was in the hospital. When he told me he was playing and I flipped out, he told me to let him have "fun" with it. Oh, ok, because making me want to puke with worry as soon as as I wake up if "fun." Sure, babe, have all the fun you want.

Omg, I'm PISSED.

I am so sorry. Why did he text your mom? Did you tell him that you were wanting to talk to her about it, but didn't know quite how? I think him telling your mom went actually okay. Not great, but it could have been worse. She simply stated the obvious, did the either of you reply back stating your plan for when you live together?

As for him joking about the ship, yeah, that wasn't in any shape or form funny. I'd be pissed too.

[heatherotic]

Well, as the day went on, things with my mom were clarified and she's ok with it. Her biggest concern is the same as mine, actually. Gosh, I'm so much like that woman it's scary. Lol. She wants to know that I'll be able to take care of myself if things go wrong. So I definitely over-reacted about him telling her, but he's still in a world of trouble because of his little "joke."

I think I'm gonna tell him I missed my plane on Friday! Hahahahahahaha.

[Mara]

I think I'm gonna tell him I missed my plane on Friday! Hahahahahahaha.

Ah, revenge is sweet. haha.

[Mara]

I think I'm gonna tell him I missed my plane on Friday! Hahahahahahaha.

Ah, revenge is sweet. haha.

[heatherotic]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks so! Lol.

[Jrapp]

(; I like the way you think!