Hey LFAD, I'm down to 45 days until I depart for Australia. Getting close to the wire is getting stressful, but I'm mostly staying sane despite playing musical boxes with my stuff and ruthlessly chucking things left and right into other people's arms.
With all of the craziness of moving first and foremost on my mind, I thought I'd post with people who can commiserate with LDR pains, and to give hopefully some sort of insight/advice as to what might happen when you move. And I hope others will add their tips too.
Moving my crap is way more involved than even I realized. I had a good idea about how much I had to do for all of my things, but then I opened up the closet and dug out all the shoes and such from under my bed... and had way more stuff than even I realized I had, and i didn't even have a whole lot to begin with! Thankfully, I'd already prepared piles for throwing away and donating, so all I had to do was add to the piles, but still... it ended up being about 4 more bags of things that I did use, but either didn't need or couldn't use anymore.
Get ruthless with that stuff.
On top of it, my original plans to stores about 6 boxes of stuff with my mom changed when I found out that the best quote I could get for moving my stuff was $600. Not large boxes, and not heavy boxes - however, the items in those boxes weren't worth $600. It was literally cheaper to sell and give away things, then purchase replacements once I moved. So my idea of what 'had' to go with me has now whittled down to personal family mementos and making sure I have good clothes and filled up meds.
Oh, and I decided to rearrange my suitcases so I can fit my mementos in them rather than pay that much for shipping. Even if I decide to purchase a third piece of luggage, it'd basically be the same volume of space for only $225.
If I'd had enough stuff and my SO already had an apartment secured, I would have done a cargo container, if the price was right; however, I only had a bedroom's worth of stuff, and it wasn't a big bedroom, with nothing worth getting a shipping container for overseas.
Dealing with family as I leave is frustrating, and sometimes unintentionally hurtful. I yet again received some unhappy grumbles because I'm going overseas and since I'll likely be getting married and staying overseas. Apparently I'm selfish for having theoretical children away from everyone.
Oh, and I've also been informed that me leaving is essentially the end of me ever seeing or talking to my family. Yes, because once I leave, it's forever and no one can every see anyone else again, nor talk, Skype or anything else. Even though I have stated many times I'd like to talk weekly on Skype and offered to help set it off, my parents have ignored all of my suggestions and ideas to keep talking. My mom has all but stated she won't come to Australia, and has made it clear it has to be my effort to maintain a relationship. I'm really hoping this won't be the case once I go, as we're generally a loving family.
One aunt even said "people just don't have the money for that." So apparently it's ok and expected if *I* pay for it, but forget them ever possibly shelling out any money. And let me be clear - my family is not well off, but my mother goes overseas 3-4 times a year, so if she really wanted to, I don't see why she couldn't afford a ticket to come see me every few years, especially since I'd be taking care of the rest of needs.
I've provided plenty of opportunities for people to see me living here, and guess what? People expect me to foot the time and money for the visit travel since I live away from my family as-is. If they can't spend some of their own time and money, then that says exactly where seeing me is on their list of priorities. They're not the only ones who have to live their lives, so I'm a lot less sympathetic about this than I was before.
I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate my soon to be new LDR's with my family, and all they can do is complain. It does hurt.
Again, I think my mom will (hopefully) pull it together and start acting like an adult again eventually, because we generally have a good relationship, but right now she's a butt.
Another thing that's come up a few times is the implied "Why can't you just settle down with a nice boy here?" It's not like I met Matt with the hope or expectation of dating someone from Australia. I don't have the Down Under Fever, nor have I ignored locals. The only locals who want to go out with me are completely incompatible. I was very cautious about approaching dating someone from so far away to begin with, and I've been very practical about it. If he didn't make me completely happy, I wouldn't go out with him. It just wouldn't be worth it.
And the third big thing I've learned is giving yourself the buffer of emergency savings/extra time is so worth it. So far, I've had to replace both pairs of my glasses (I thought I'd only need to replace one), my grandmother passed away, and I'm going to have to get a part of my car fixed before I sell it to my brother. All of these things, were I running close to the wire with money, would be overwhelming, but I've been able to fix them while thinking "Man that was inconvenient" and mourn the loss of my grandma without fretting about what-if's.
Despite the temporary insanity, I'm still looking forward to the move. I can't wait to start my career and being with my SO. And I'm looking forward to getting to live life instead of this part of it being on pause.
I hope this helps someone, and if anyone has any advice they'd like to add for people closing the distance, I hope you'll comment. I could probably use some.
With all of the craziness of moving first and foremost on my mind, I thought I'd post with people who can commiserate with LDR pains, and to give hopefully some sort of insight/advice as to what might happen when you move. And I hope others will add their tips too.
Moving my crap is way more involved than even I realized. I had a good idea about how much I had to do for all of my things, but then I opened up the closet and dug out all the shoes and such from under my bed... and had way more stuff than even I realized I had, and i didn't even have a whole lot to begin with! Thankfully, I'd already prepared piles for throwing away and donating, so all I had to do was add to the piles, but still... it ended up being about 4 more bags of things that I did use, but either didn't need or couldn't use anymore.
Get ruthless with that stuff.
On top of it, my original plans to stores about 6 boxes of stuff with my mom changed when I found out that the best quote I could get for moving my stuff was $600. Not large boxes, and not heavy boxes - however, the items in those boxes weren't worth $600. It was literally cheaper to sell and give away things, then purchase replacements once I moved. So my idea of what 'had' to go with me has now whittled down to personal family mementos and making sure I have good clothes and filled up meds.
Oh, and I decided to rearrange my suitcases so I can fit my mementos in them rather than pay that much for shipping. Even if I decide to purchase a third piece of luggage, it'd basically be the same volume of space for only $225.
If I'd had enough stuff and my SO already had an apartment secured, I would have done a cargo container, if the price was right; however, I only had a bedroom's worth of stuff, and it wasn't a big bedroom, with nothing worth getting a shipping container for overseas.
Dealing with family as I leave is frustrating, and sometimes unintentionally hurtful. I yet again received some unhappy grumbles because I'm going overseas and since I'll likely be getting married and staying overseas. Apparently I'm selfish for having theoretical children away from everyone.
Oh, and I've also been informed that me leaving is essentially the end of me ever seeing or talking to my family. Yes, because once I leave, it's forever and no one can every see anyone else again, nor talk, Skype or anything else.
Even though I have stated many times I'd like to talk weekly on Skype and offered to help set it off, my parents have ignored all of my suggestions and ideas to keep talking. My mom has all but stated she won't come to Australia, and has made it clear it has to be my effort to maintain a relationship. I'm really hoping this won't be the case once I go, as we're generally a loving family.One aunt even said "people just don't have the money for that." So apparently it's ok and expected if *I* pay for it, but forget them ever possibly shelling out any money. And let me be clear - my family is not well off, but my mother goes overseas 3-4 times a year, so if she really wanted to, I don't see why she couldn't afford a ticket to come see me every few years, especially since I'd be taking care of the rest of needs.
I've provided plenty of opportunities for people to see me living here, and guess what? People expect me to foot the time and money for the visit travel since I live away from my family as-is. If they can't spend some of their own time and money, then that says exactly where seeing me is on their list of priorities. They're not the only ones who have to live their lives, so I'm a lot less sympathetic about this than I was before.
I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate my soon to be new LDR's with my family, and all they can do is complain. It does hurt.
Again, I think my mom will (hopefully) pull it together and start acting like an adult again eventually, because we generally have a good relationship, but right now she's a butt.
Another thing that's come up a few times is the implied "Why can't you just settle down with a nice boy here?" It's not like I met Matt with the hope or expectation of dating someone from Australia. I don't have the Down Under Fever, nor have I ignored locals. The only locals who want to go out with me are completely incompatible. I was very cautious about approaching dating someone from so far away to begin with, and I've been very practical about it. If he didn't make me completely happy, I wouldn't go out with him. It just wouldn't be worth it.
And the third big thing I've learned is giving yourself the buffer of emergency savings/extra time is so worth it. So far, I've had to replace both pairs of my glasses (I thought I'd only need to replace one), my grandmother passed away, and I'm going to have to get a part of my car fixed before I sell it to my brother. All of these things, were I running close to the wire with money, would be overwhelming, but I've been able to fix them while thinking "Man that was inconvenient" and mourn the loss of my grandma without fretting about what-if's.
Despite the temporary insanity, I'm still looking forward to the move. I can't wait to start my career and being with my SO. And I'm looking forward to getting to live life instead of this part of it being on pause.
I hope this helps someone, and if anyone has any advice they'd like to add for people closing the distance, I hope you'll comment. I could probably use some.
woo hoo 45 days!
*hugs* sending thoughts your way.
I always preach about the importance of saving and having that rainy day fund just in case anything happens! It is soo true you never know when you're going to need that extra stash 
. I think your family and your "friends" (should you even call them your friends) are just jealous of the fact that you're doing something that they've always wanted to do in their life. Which is moving and living in another country besides you might actually love Australia! I heard a lot of great things about Australia. 
! Just ignore them though, if they really love you they'll come around! Also you can make a blog about your daily life in Australia or write a best selling book! Possibilities are endless! But stay positive and brush them haters off! Or hit them with a light saber 
or fence them or... 
you know what I mean! Best of you luck to you!
Tea and hugs make the world go round - don't ever discount the little things in life. 
Smiling away to oneself brings an obscene amount of joy when only you know the reason why your smiling. Pick something secret to smile about and let it light up your face all day long!
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