My SO and I have been seeing each other seriously for just over a year and a half, and inevitably, the conversation about closing the distance has been bandied around between us for the last few months or so. Of course, the main difficulty will be figuring out the logistics and realities of a transatlantic move (it seems ridiculously difficult for either him to move to the UK or for me to move to the States. It's almost as if at some point in our history, our countries didn't like each other or something). But we're both determined, and I'm almost certain we can do it.
However, I'm finding the main thing that keeps me up at night is moving from long distance to close distance. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm starting to worry that I actually enjoy being in an LDR. I like getting excited about that Skype call after a busy week, and I like getting butterflies in my stomach every time I get off the plane to see him again, and I even almost like the uncertainty of never knowing what's going to happen next. We're both people who really value our freedom and personal space, and although we can't keep our hands off each other for the brief visits we do have, I'm worried that's simply because it's a 4 - 6 months wait between each time we get to touch.
I'm not naive, and I know inevitably that original 'spark' disappears and a different kind of relationship evolves. I've lived with a long-term boyfriend before and it was nice having that laid-back, comfortable feeling - and I'd love to have that with my SO, not to mention not having to schedule around time differences to see each other, the expense of plane tickets, and the lack of physical affection. I understand the benefits of being able to be together.
It's just, the spark hasn't gone yet in my LDR, and I think the distance might have something to do with that, because we both have to make that little extra effort to be romantic and make each other feel loved and needed.
I know this sounds really childish and selfish, it's just that our relationship never started out serious - it was just a nice little pick-me-up when life was getting stressful because neither of us thought an LDR could last that long. Now it is serious, I don't want to lose that giddy teenage light-heartedness by moving in together and becoming complacent.
Hopefully, that inane rambling made sense. So, those of you who took the leap and closed the distance - advice? Similar Experiences? Free ham of sympathy?
However, I'm finding the main thing that keeps me up at night is moving from long distance to close distance. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm starting to worry that I actually enjoy being in an LDR. I like getting excited about that Skype call after a busy week, and I like getting butterflies in my stomach every time I get off the plane to see him again, and I even almost like the uncertainty of never knowing what's going to happen next. We're both people who really value our freedom and personal space, and although we can't keep our hands off each other for the brief visits we do have, I'm worried that's simply because it's a 4 - 6 months wait between each time we get to touch.
I'm not naive, and I know inevitably that original 'spark' disappears and a different kind of relationship evolves. I've lived with a long-term boyfriend before and it was nice having that laid-back, comfortable feeling - and I'd love to have that with my SO, not to mention not having to schedule around time differences to see each other, the expense of plane tickets, and the lack of physical affection. I understand the benefits of being able to be together.
It's just, the spark hasn't gone yet in my LDR, and I think the distance might have something to do with that, because we both have to make that little extra effort to be romantic and make each other feel loved and needed.
I know this sounds really childish and selfish, it's just that our relationship never started out serious - it was just a nice little pick-me-up when life was getting stressful because neither of us thought an LDR could last that long. Now it is serious, I don't want to lose that giddy teenage light-heartedness by moving in together and becoming complacent.
Hopefully, that inane rambling made sense. So, those of you who took the leap and closed the distance - advice? Similar Experiences? Free ham of sympathy?
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