Making A Leap of Faith...

[Sierra]

Despite my last thread of like, yesterday, today has brought entirely new circumstances into my life which have lead to my boyfriend and I having to seriously consider moving in together sooner than expected. Basically, because of some issues with my job, I may have to move to where he lives sooner than expected since that is our ultimate goal. We will still have time to work out our current issues before then, but I may basically have to just take a leap of faith and move there, like I said much sooner than expected.

Has anyone done this? I will not have been there many times, and we will not (at any point in our relationship as long as we are long distance) be able to spend an extended amount of time together before making this decision. I know this is a complete juxtaposition from how I felt yesterday, but after we talked I realized how strong we are as a couple as long as we communicate with each other, it's when we don't we both get unhappy.

We talked about our concerns with me doing this, and a basic plan of action, how things would be different sooner than later as well as expectations for the future. This will be an on going conversation. We would still have five months to half a year to decide if this is right for us.

Regardless, have any of you guys made this decision? To move to be with your SO despite not having spent a significant amount of time where you decide to move to?

[lucybelle]

Before moving back to CR I had lived there 2 years previously for 1 year. So I knew the country and I knew already what I would miss and what would annoy me.

BUT when my SO moved in with me, he had only been to the States one time and it was to visit me for 5 days a few months earlier. Plus, our actual real time together was about I'd say 20 days top (one week me visiting him, one week him to me, and a few dates before we went LD). So needless to say we were both nervous, and I was fairly certain things wouldn't work out between us. I had all these backup plans about getting his ass on an airplane and shipping him back to his country once we started fighting.

Luckily, that never had to happen. We get along really, really well. It was a HUGE adjustment for him since 1- he didn't know the country well, 2- he had never lived away from the city where he was born and raised, and 3- it was the first time he moved out of his parents house. Talk about a leap of faith! He also couldn't work in the USA, so we were working with just one teacher salary.

It's frightening. But it's also an adventure. I always try to live my life as what would make the best story later. Well my Costa Rican boyfriend moving to live with me in the USA is a pretty good story. So we went for it. And it worked out for us. And things are going great. Good luck with your move!!

[13000km]

Before moving to Oregon I had only spent three weeks here, on holiday last winter. We had spent a total of 22 days together. Very much like lucybelle's boyfriend, I didn't know the country I was moving to well, had never lived away from the city where I was born and raised and had never lived outside of my parents' house. But, I had applied to transfer to the university here, and got a spot! Moving here has been scary, but exciting. There have been moments where I question my decision and doubt my being able to make it here. It's been every bit as hard as we had expected it to be, especially since I haven't been able to find a job. It takes a lot of adjustments and compromise but it can definitely work out. It's been 5 months now and we're still going strong. (:

[Mara]

I first moved to my SO at the end of September 2009. We met online July 13 of that same year and we didn't meet in person and become a couple until August 28. We had maybe visited each other twice or three times [I had much more money and free time to travel then]? I wasn't planning on moving in with him or moving there so soon, but that's how things worked out. Suffice it to say we didn't kill each other..yet, at least.

It was an adjustment sure and I wasn't exactly sure we were going to work out, but I got a great job opportunity I couldn't pass up in his city and I hated my old job so we went with it.

I always looked at it like well, I can always go back home and I always kept enough money in case I did need to go home.

[Sierra]

Thank you guys so much for sharing your experiences with me. My boyfriend and I have been having an ongoing conversation about our concerns and what we would do if this move happens before we planned. I'm glad that he's open to helping me out by allowing this to happen.

We both realized that our ultimate goal is me moving out there, and before I do that there's really no way for me to adjust other than just being there. I told him I'm sure I"ll be whining about the heat all I can but it just takes some time and adjustment and I'm not going to go running back home because of humidity, he means more to me than that.

I've also been considering maybe getting my own place out there and then we move in together when his lease is up but I haven't brought that up, and it seems stupid because we'd be spending all our time together anyway.

I guess all we can do in any situation is hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. I feel much less anxious about this than I did before.