My SO is from Canada(although he has been living in Texas for over 10 years of his life out of 19) and I am from Texas. I have lived here my whole life...this is my home. This is where I grew up, where all of my family lives. All of my friends. I know it well here, I am used to this way of life. My parents love him and if we lived here then they would help us if we ever needed it. I have a slight mark on my record; a misdemeanor offense for stealing from over two years ago. I've been doing research online and it seems like to me it would be difficult for me to move to Canada. He is a citizen of Canada and he has his green card for here. He has his grandparents there in Canada and his parents and brother are here in the US along with all of his friends. It costs thousands of dollars for lawyers and the whole process of getting a green card or whatever the equivilent is in Canada, something I can't afford. He refuses to live in Texas and I refuse to live in Canada. I know nothing there and his whole family dislikes me. I don't know anyone. It's something completely foreign to me. Wouldn't it make more sense for him to live here and just renew his green card? Wouldn't that be much easier than me getting a visa or whatever for Canada? He just wants to live there because it's beautiful...I want to live here because it's more sensible-cheaper, easier, etc. I've never even visited Canada before! How can he expect me to just move there? I am so confused and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to convince him to stay here...Any opinions? Would you suggest me moving there or him moving here?
-
-
Maybe you should visit before completely deciding you don't want to move there. It might turn out to be better than you think
Another option is to move to a third location. I think it's more fair if both of you have to start over. Somewhere up north that has some of the qualities of Canada while still being in the US. I'm from Texas, and I can say I wouldn't mind moving to Seattle (where my SO lives).
-
Double post :|Comment
-
It sounds like you are very frustrated; thus, my first suggestion would be for you to take a step back and breathe. I would then suggest the following: 1) Create a list and separate the "emotional" from the "practical" reasons for why you should move to Canada, he should stay in Texas or you should both move to a third location. "His family hates me," would fall into the emotional column. "It would be difficult for me to get a visa because of my criminal history," would fall into the practical column. Neither column is more important than the other, but the solutions to the problems presented are different. Once you have listed all of these reasons, I would sit down with your SO and have a serious conversation.
Personally, I think the advice you received from Lumos was pretty sound. While the cost of living in the South is significantly cheaper than the North, if the real reason he wants to move back to Canada is because of the climate/surroundings, there are quite a few northern states that have similar climates and surrounding. A good example would be upstate/central NY. Still in the States, far cheaper than living in a Northern city, and absolutely beautiful. You could also consider one of the Midwestern States like Colorado or the Dakotas.Comment
-
I concur with both Lumos and thatgirllit. A third option seems practical, but you need to make a list of pros and cons, emotional and practical or both. Then you need to talk to your SO about it. It would also be practical for each of you to visit the other at their homes to make sure either of you are capable of adapting to the new settings.
You need to make a joint decision that both of you can be happy with or else you will put a terrible strain on your relationship when you do close the distance.
Comment
Comment