Hey(: The name's Faith.
So, my baby's been away for about a month now and I've been doing pretty well. I'm used to independence and despite the obvious withdrawals, I stay busy enough with work and have enough good things in my life that it hasn't been a crippling experience by any means. For some reason today just hit me hard. :/ Got all sorts of advice that just made me ask questions, and while I'm not willing to even consider questioning my commitment or love for my boy, it just opened a door of thoughts that I guess tempts me to...... and now I really need to hear his voice and feel him hold me. I need reminded that this isn't forever, that what we have is worth it and that it will all pay off... You know? But he's at basic (army), and it's week 3 and he has at least 10 weeks to go, with no guaranteed contact until the end. So we're totally cut off from one another, except letters (although, while I do write him daily.. they aren't letting him read any of the mail he's getting yet. Part of the whole soldier-making process, I guess).
So, interaction is limited, to say the least. Not to mention he's in Active duty, and is Infantry, and is enlisted for at least three years. It's definitely hard to see an end in sight at this point, and today has made me realize that in order to survive the long-haul I'm committed to, I really need you guys. It's hard for me to accept that I need an online support groupish thing xD But things are... complicated, with his family, and I'm a bit of a loner, so despite a few close friends who are really busy, I don't really have anywhere else I can turn. :/ I love him, I refuse to give up on us, but this is definitely a mountain to climb! Can you help me?
I know we've only been true-blue dating for 7 months, so this is one of our first major trials as a couple. I keep telling myself: It takes TIME and experience to produce strength and endurance. Nobody ever said settling down was easy. I'm naturally a very free spirit, and I'm open to change at any given moment. So any time I get so much as looked at by a seemingly sweet, attractive guy, everything in me wants to do the normal "RE-EVALUATE EVERYTHING. Is this potential option worth passing up for current relationship?!"
and it's just TERRIBLE!!! I feel so.. unfaithful, for even having these thoughts. I've never cheated, I never will, but I want my relationship to have not a single moment where my heart would even consider another guy. I know I'm young, and people say "You don't have to know yet!" but I have made my decision. This is the man I want to spend my life with, and I just need help learning to stick with that. On the deepest, most complete level possible.
This is really long. But that's pretty much the bulk of why I'm here, and what's up. There's a lot of other things I would love to be able to discuss, but I'll leave this first post at that. Hopefully it's not so long that nobody will read it!!
So, my baby's been away for about a month now and I've been doing pretty well. I'm used to independence and despite the obvious withdrawals, I stay busy enough with work and have enough good things in my life that it hasn't been a crippling experience by any means. For some reason today just hit me hard. :/ Got all sorts of advice that just made me ask questions, and while I'm not willing to even consider questioning my commitment or love for my boy, it just opened a door of thoughts that I guess tempts me to...... and now I really need to hear his voice and feel him hold me. I need reminded that this isn't forever, that what we have is worth it and that it will all pay off... You know? But he's at basic (army), and it's week 3 and he has at least 10 weeks to go, with no guaranteed contact until the end. So we're totally cut off from one another, except letters (although, while I do write him daily.. they aren't letting him read any of the mail he's getting yet. Part of the whole soldier-making process, I guess).
So, interaction is limited, to say the least. Not to mention he's in Active duty, and is Infantry, and is enlisted for at least three years. It's definitely hard to see an end in sight at this point, and today has made me realize that in order to survive the long-haul I'm committed to, I really need you guys. It's hard for me to accept that I need an online support groupish thing xD But things are... complicated, with his family, and I'm a bit of a loner, so despite a few close friends who are really busy, I don't really have anywhere else I can turn. :/ I love him, I refuse to give up on us, but this is definitely a mountain to climb! Can you help me?
I know we've only been true-blue dating for 7 months, so this is one of our first major trials as a couple. I keep telling myself: It takes TIME and experience to produce strength and endurance. Nobody ever said settling down was easy. I'm naturally a very free spirit, and I'm open to change at any given moment. So any time I get so much as looked at by a seemingly sweet, attractive guy, everything in me wants to do the normal "RE-EVALUATE EVERYTHING. Is this potential option worth passing up for current relationship?!"
and it's just TERRIBLE!!! I feel so.. unfaithful, for even having these thoughts. I've never cheated, I never will, but I want my relationship to have not a single moment where my heart would even consider another guy. I know I'm young, and people say "You don't have to know yet!" but I have made my decision. This is the man I want to spend my life with, and I just need help learning to stick with that. On the deepest, most complete level possible.
This is really long. But that's pretty much the bulk of why I'm here, and what's up. There's a lot of other things I would love to be able to discuss, but I'll leave this first post at that. Hopefully it's not so long that nobody will read it!!
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