Hello from the Netherlands!

[bethyylovee]

[dragonlady]

o that's evil!!! like the way you think lol!!

[Hollandia]

Hello Dutchie.
Cute name. My SO is Dutch and I plan on being an expat with him there sometime in the near future. I am over in NL with him every 90 days for about 89. I love the culture and have been studying Dutch for several months now. My SO is incredibly devoted and his father is to his mom as well. I feel that Dutch man are very affectionate when they love. I see couples over there always holding hands and arms wrapped around each other. I believe that the LDR is hard but completely worth it. Welcome aboard.

[Dutchie]

Hi Hollandia!

Sounds like you saw my SO and I walking down the street! I love that he likes to hold hands as well, makes me feel like a teenager, haha! I don't have enough reference material to compare Dutch men to foreign men, all I know is I wouldn't trade mine for anyone else

My SO and I always joke that he takes me to the supermarket or car scrapyards on "special" dates (we have lots of fun anywhere we go, so I'm not even complaining, I just think it's funny, lol!), but he also planned us a surprise stay at a 4 star hotel for valentine's day.

So you want to permanently move to the Netherlands then? That's really great! I just hope you don't mind the weather

[Carenza LaRue]

welcome here....

and yea...... another Dutchie here ....from the Hague....

you found a fantastic website..... for support and everything else that comes along during the LDR.

veel plezier!.... have fun!

[Dutchie]

Dankjewel!

[MissButterfly]

welcome here....

and yea...... another Dutchie here ....from the Hague....

you found a fantastic website..... for support and everything else that comes along during the LDR.

veel plezier!.... have fun!

So funny that we actually live in the same city... Wonder if we ever accidentally met each other! :P

[Carenza LaRue]

So funny that we actually live in the same city... Wonder if we ever accidentally met each other! :P

haha..... that would be great....

I am mostly to be found in the area of the Piece Palace.....
work at the police head quarters....

[Hollandia]

Hi Hollandia!

Sounds like you saw my SO and I walking down the street! I love that he likes to hold hands as well, makes me feel like a teenager, haha! I don't have enough reference material to compare Dutch men to foreign men, all I know is I wouldn't trade mine for anyone else

My SO and I always joke that he takes me to the supermarket or car scrapyards on "special" dates (we have lots of fun anywhere we go, so I'm not even complaining, I just think it's funny, lol!), but he also planned us a surprise stay at a 4 star hotel for valentine's day.

So you want to permanently move to the Netherlands then? That's really great! I just hope you don't mind the weather

Yes, the weather is a bit colder than where I am from and tends to take longer to get hot in summer but, we did manage to get to beach and pool last summer . I have traveled a bit and never noticed so many affectionate men towards their partners before. Dutch men are amazing to their women.

While the NL has so many wonderful sights to see, our favorite is our place. I don't consider myself a tourist. We eat with his family a few times a week. I love him enough to move there for as long as we live. We talked about living over in US for a few years at some point and maybe somewhere else. We just want to be together. . My SO has taught me a few choice Dutch words that don't teach in Rosetta Stone. LOL. I absolutely love the bike paths everywhere you want to go. The public tranist blows away any I have seen in USA too. I am honorary Dutch.

To get back to looking at becoming a LDR I can say I really really did hesitate in the beginning. It was a big step to date a person 3700 miles away. I believe you and I will be quite close to same distance from our loves in a week. The paperwork and requirements are daunting but I am so very very glad I took the leap and flew over to NL to meet him in person. We still cry each time we have to separate but he put it perfectly for me last time. He came in the room and I was crying on the bed and he said ...."Don't cry baby", I said ...." I can't help it, we only have a few days left"..........Him...................."Baby, we don't have a few days left, we have decades left"

That just made me feel so much better. I knew in that sentence it really is all worth it.

[Dutchie]

Yes, the weather is a bit colder than where I am from and tends to take longer to get hot in summer but, we did manage to get to beach and pool last summer . I have traveled a bit and never noticed so many affectionate men towards their partners before. Dutch men are amazing to their women.

While the NL has so many wonderful sights to see, our favorite is our place. I don't consider myself a tourist. We eat with his family a few times a week. I love him enough to move there for as long as we live. We talked about living over in US for a few years at some point and maybe somewhere else. We just want to be together. . My SO has taught me a few choice Dutch words that don't teach in Rosetta Stone. LOL. I absolutely love the bike paths everywhere you want to go. The public tranist blows away any I have seen in USA too. I am honorary Dutch.

To get back to looking at becoming a LDR I can say I really really did hesitate in the beginning. It was a big step to date a person 3700 miles away. I believe you and I will be quite close to same distance from our loves in a week. The paperwork and requirements are daunting but I am so very very glad I took the leap and flew over to NL to meet him in person. We still cry each time we have to separate but he put it perfectly for me last time. He came in the room and I was crying on the bed and he said ...."Don't cry baby", I said ...." I can't help it, we only have a few days left"..........Him...................."Baby, we don't have a few days left, we have decades left"

That just made me feel so much better. I knew in that sentence it really is all worth it.

Yay for Dutch men then!

Having been born and raised in the Netherlands, I tend to take a lot for granted, especially the public transportation, since it's a national pastime to complain about everything that's wrong with it But you're right, it is pretty awesome. And the way traffic is adjusted for bicycles as well, I live close to the German border, and I cycle there sometimes but as soon as I cross the border I have to contend with cycling down a busy road with cars zooming past me, just hoping they'll see me in time and won't hit me.. It just seems insane to me but apparently this is normal anywhere that is not the Netherlands. It's great that you get along with your SO's family so well, that helps a lot when you're moving to a strange country to be with your love

He sounds really sweet indeed, I suppose there's a cultural difference to overcome for you guys, as well as the distance.. But I'm sure that will be manageable My SO actually has a friend who met his wife in the U.S.A.. They had a LDR as well, for quite a few years if I recall correctly, and now they're happily married and living in the Netherlands. So all this grief people instantly tend to give to people in a LDR, saying that it's doomed to fail and whatnot, don't listen to it! It really depends a lot on how well you handle difficult situations, and that goes for ALL relationships, not just the LD ones. Although it helps if you tend to need a lot of personal space

I just got home from my last weekend at his place, I'll go back there wednesday evening, to spend our last few days together before he gets on the plane friday..
One thing that should make things easier for me next friday is that he hasn't received his visa yet, so he may have to fly back in a few weeks to come and collect it from the embassy.. He'll be staying at my place then so I'll get to spend a few more days with him (I'm keeping my fingers crossed, hoping he won't get his visa in time, not very supportive of me, I know.. )

[Hollandia]

Yay for Dutch men then!

Having been born and raised in the Netherlands, I tend to take a lot for granted, especially the public transportation, since it's a national pastime to complain about everything that's wrong with it But you're right, it is pretty awesome. And the way traffic is adjusted for bicycles as well, I live close to the German border, and I cycle there sometimes but as soon as I cross the border I have to contend with cycling down a busy road with cars zooming past me, just hoping they'll see me in time and won't hit me.. It just seems insane to me but apparently this is normal anywhere that is not the Netherlands. It's great that you get along with your SO's family so well, that helps a lot when you're moving to a strange country to be with your love

He sounds really sweet indeed, I suppose there's a cultural difference to overcome for you guys, as well as the distance.. But I'm sure that will be manageable My SO actually has a friend who met his wife in the U.S.A.. They had a LDR as well, for quite a few years if I recall correctly, and now they're happily married and living in the Netherlands. So all this grief people instantly tend to give to people in a LDR, saying that it's doomed to fail and whatnot, don't listen to it! It really depends a lot on how well you handle difficult situations, and that goes for ALL relationships, not just the LD ones. Although it helps if you tend to need a lot of personal space

I just got home from my last weekend at his place, I'll go back there wednesday evening, to spend our last few days together before he gets on the plane friday..
One thing that should make things easier for me next friday is that he hasn't received his visa yet, so he may have to fly back in a few weeks to come and collect it from the embassy.. He'll be staying at my place then so I'll get to spend a few more days with him (I'm keeping my fingers crossed, hoping he won't get his visa in time, not very supportive of me, I know.. )

Yes I was blown away by the bike paths over the main bridges and next to the Highways, super cool. I wish I could get a bank account connected to a train card but can only get a nameless one so far. I run into a problem with some USA credit cards too, all stuff I am working my way around. lol.

Yes, his family is super sweet to have. My friends and family don't have the funds to fly to Europe, my brother is going to try next year. My BF says by this time next year he expects the distance to be closed.

I will hope for you as well that the Visa takes a bit longer. I love to hear about all the success stories in here. They raise me up. I do deal with some friends and family that are not uber supportive. They most likely don't want me to leave the USA but the heart wants what the heart wants. I think that his coming here in a few weeks shows me that he is truly committed to us. I most admit I would rather not move over permanently till I get the ring but he wants to do the "register as partners" thing first. Is that a big dutch thing? Most of his friends did it first before they got married. I am going to leave family, friends and country and he is really pushing me to learn my dutch better, and yet he says the marriage is best......"when the time is right and we have the money for it". I am kinda torn about that. If you love somebody enough, why not get engaged at least? Do you guys worry about that too? I find myself wishing NL did not offer this option.

Enjoy the last precious days you have together and try not to dwell on the upcoming goodbye until the day he leaves would be my advice. Too often, I cry for weeks before I have to leave again.

[Dutchie]

Well, my Flying Dutchman left last friday, his family was at the airport as well and one of his nephews managed to pull me through the worst of it somehow, despite him being only 10 years old I did cry a little but I managed to stay strong for the most part..

I've kept in contact with my SO throughout the weekend via whatsapp, we have yet to use skype, he'll try to set it up when he comes home from work today. He's moving into a temporary apartment as I'm typing this...

It really helps that it's so easy to keep in touch, but I suspect it's going to get more difficult as time passes.. I miss him already.

Hollandia, the registered partnership is used a lot here, yes. It's usually done for financial/tax reasons but the same can be said for marriage in many cases. I have the impression that marriage isn't nearly as popular in the Netherlands anymore than it is in the U.S. but I could be mistaken.

Personally, I don't think marriage is a necessity for two people to spend their lives together, if you love someone you'll make the decision to stay with them whether or not you have a ring. I know a lot of people here feel the same way, my SO does too, in any case. It's not that people are against it, it's just not such a big deal I guess.. Then again, a few friends of mine are currently planning their wedding so people definitely do get married over here as well
If it's a big issue for you I suggest making sure you're on the same page there (To be completely honest, I've always said that there would never be a reason for me to get married. I'm also old-fashioned in the sense that IF I get married, it's really supposed to be "till death do us part" and frankly, I've never wanted that kind of commitment with anyone. Since I met my SO I'm starting to think maybe having him for a husband wouldn't be such a crazy idea after all.. Kinda scary... )