Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Not sure if this site is for me

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Not sure if this site is for me

    Hi All!

    I am in a LDR however my situation seems so much different then most I'm seeing. I have reconnected with my first love and he has been in my life forever. We were both beginning divorces when we started talking again in 2011. My divorce is final, his is dragging out. I live on the West Coast and he lives on the East Coast. He has been in love with me since I'm 13 years old. We dated when we were kids and then when we were in our 20's before we each got married he moved to Texas and contacted me when he came back to NY (I still lived there) and I rejected him. Now, I realize that my feelings and more importantly HIS feelings for me were too intense and I couldn't handle it. The way he looked at me OMG. Sooo, we each married other people and STILL when I saw him at certain events he would still look at me the same way and I knew in my heart he still loved me. Long story short (is that even possible?) Last year we saw each other frequently, he came here I went there. My kids love him, they text him all the time. Problem is we haven't seen each other in 10 months. His job is extremely physical and demanding and he is so used to only focusing on work I feel neglected. I know I sound like a baby---but he went from adoring me and us talking/texting constantly to barely getting a good morning and good night text and rarely a phone call. There is a 3 hour time difference and he leaves for work at 4 a.m. and lately gets home around 8 p.m....long day I know. I feel sad all the time though, I miss him. If we lived in the same place it wouldn't bother me as much because I'd still have him next to me at night and I'd feel his love. But I'm feeling pretty left out of his life right now. ANy advice?

    #2
    First of all of course you are welcome! We have members who are no longer LD and some who don't have an SO at all. All are welcome

    Can you set up skype date nights on weekends or a day he doesn't work? That way you have something to look forward to when lonely.

    Comment


      #3
      Hi AZTee,

      Welcome! I think you are in the right place as you are in an LDR. I can imagine how lonely and left out you are feeling. Have you voiced your feelings and concerns to him? Communication is so important in an LDR. It's really what holds us together as couples. I hope you can talk to him and make it perfectly clear how much you are longing for his attention. I wish you well!

      Comment


        #4
        Welcome

        Communication is key! let him know you'd like to talk more and come up with a compromise that works for both of you on spending time together vs him being busy
        Met Online: February 2009
        Feelings grew: January 2011
        First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
        Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
        Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
        Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
        Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
        Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
        Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
        Engaged: 1st of July 2012
        Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
        Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
        Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
        Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
        Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
        Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

        Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

        Comment


          #5

          Welcome to LFAD!

          Comment


            #6
            Thank you all! He doesn't have computer access so we haven't skyped. The last time we were able to "see" each other that way was Thanksgiving he was at my sister's house and he was almost in tears seeing me and so was I. He is 51 years old and a very very stubborn man lol. He shuts down emotionally when this comes up. I don't think he can handle me being upset. I also think (and know) that he is very lonely and depressed and he throws himself into his job. He was married for over 20 years (as I was). His divorce is still pending and his soon to be ex is making things very very difficult for him, with his children and financially. She never required any emotional things from him it was always about money. So, he is totally not used to having someone who NEEDS him emotionally or WANTS to know his feelings, so he is really unequipped to deal with all of this emotional crap that's going on with him. I understand and I am trying to be gentle and patient with him but it's so dang frustrating!!!!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by AZTee View Post
              Thank you all! He doesn't have computer access so we haven't skyped. The last time we were able to "see" each other that way was Thanksgiving he was at my sister's house and he was almost in tears seeing me and so was I. He is 51 years old and a very very stubborn man lol. He shuts down emotionally when this comes up. I don't think he can handle me being upset. I also think (and know) that he is very lonely and depressed and he throws himself into his job. He was married for over 20 years (as I was). His divorce is still pending and his soon to be ex is making things very very difficult for him, with his children and financially. She never required any emotional things from him it was always about money. So, he is totally not used to having someone who NEEDS him emotionally or WANTS to know his feelings, so he is really unequipped to deal with all of this emotional crap that's going on with him. I understand and I am trying to be gentle and patient with him but it's so dang frustrating!!!!
              Haha, my SO and I don't ever really Skype. We started off just talking on the phone and once he got Skype, it was just awkward for us both because he would be doing other things while Skyping.

              It's really amazing that you two have known each other for so long! I love stories like that!! <3

              Like everyone says, you are more than welcome here and just make it your own! Welcome to LFAD, btw!!

              First met: June 2012
              Became Committed: June 04, 2012
              Entered an LDR: July 01, 2012
              Next Visit: October 2013!


              XXX XXX

              Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

              Comment


                #8
                Of course your welcome! I think you'll find the community to be a very inviting place


                sigpic

                Comment

                Working...
                X