Hello from Malaysia.

[alizee]

I have sent you a PM with my view on this ... I know it*s hard to take this type of things.

[yubashini]

hi Alizee,

i chatted with SO ysterday evening for a while 30minutes...after tat, from yesterday night(friday) till today night(Sat) i have sent a few messages and 2 missed calls (thru Viber) but no response...trying to be positive but im afraid that he might be losing interest? Or is this normal?

[alizee]

Hi alizee, even I get emotional sometimes.....but I'm trying to be positive.....my SO said I shldnt be worried if he don't reply...

Yes, and mind you this is only the first month of the relationship. I don*t want to make you sad, but as time passes, and your bond gets stronger (hopefully you will have a great connection!) the missing will get bigger and bigger. It*s hard ... I never thought I was able to do something like this! Most times I just want to hug& kiss him (even thought we never met), but I am afraid to tell him those things, because he might think that I am desperate or needy, so I am showing myself calm, rational and happy! But I am dying to say these sweet things to him. I need your opinion on this - how can I let him know that I care so much for him, but not sounding desperate/ needy??? ... on his part, I don*t know what to think, I know he has feelings for me (like appreciation, connection), but I really don*t know if he misses me so much as I miss him. I guess men are a little cold/ rational when it comes to those things and they don*t feel the urge to say the things they feel, plus my SO doesn*t seem to be a romantic men. But I will find that out when we will meet in person in less then 3 weeks...

[yubashini]

Hi alizee, even I get emotional sometimes.....but I'm trying to be positive.....my SO said I shldnt be worried if he don't reply...

[yubashini]

Syndlea.....mine is in New Hampshire....after 2days of busy working he text yesterday....so I was quite happy.....but today again...no reply.....so I'm trying to keep an open mind....

[Lilly9886]

Welcome to LFAD!

[syndyela]

Welcome to the forum yubashini! My SO is also in the US for work in California. Where's your SO's location in US?

And yes, LDR does teach us to be to be more understanding and patience for our SO's.

[alizee]

Yes, and as time goes by, and you start to become closer to your SO (when I was in my first month of relationship, I didn*t think of him much, because I didn*t want to get my hopes high) you will think of him more and more ... I don*t know if he does think of me all the time ... sometimes I miss him so much that I start to cry... I am so emotional these days, and I never thought I could be like that. I thought I was strong!!!!

[yubashini]

Yes, LDR are really hard...and definately test your loyalty and love for the person....i tot LDR would suite me as im busy with work and kid...did not have time to go dating....some or rather i suddenly have time to think a lot on my SO....LDR does teach you to be more understanding and patience for your SO.

[alizee]

Yes, I guess LDRs are like that ... especially LDRs between two mature persons (who have obligations, work, bills to pay ...) and they really can*t (or is hard) to talk daily! Everybody is got a life of his own where they are, even though they are in LDRs. That*s why LDRs are so hard ... I mean it*s hard on me not to hear his voice everyday, but I know that he*s got a life over there ...

[yubashini]

hi Alizee,

Thanks for the reply and advice. ...my SO has been busy these 2 days....has not reply my msg. if i send one in the morning, only get reply end of hte day saying his busy with work....so trying to be busy and not send too many msgs to him on why he's not replying...Hopefully, the weekend he will be free.

[alizee]

Thanks Chlo,

I need some advice....when in a LDR, when is a healthy time to talk about sex. Me and SO are not teens anymore...is it natural to have the sex talk after a month?

I am in a 3,5 months relationship and we never talked about it. In a relationship I need to feel confident and to create a bond with a man, and then talk about sex. I am a little shy when it comes to this think, but I am glad he feels the same way and never lead the discussion to sex. He is being respectful and polite to me and I appreciate him for that.
He invited me to come to visit him (2 times already) and I told him it was too early to visit him and that I wasn*t emotionally prepared. He told me he understood and that quote - don*t worry for that thing if you do come, because I am not that kind (as to force me). He never insisted with me visiting him, and told me I will come when I will feel ready for it. Now, he is coming in September and we will meet face to face, as we have the same hometown.
But every relationship is different .... if you feel the need to talk to him about sex it*s your call!!! But I think it*s a little too early, let the relationship develop and then see what it brings ...

[yubashini]

hi Alizee,

My SO is 12 hours behind (so when i'm getting ready for bed, he is getting ready for work!). Sometimes i get upset and wonder why he has not text me.....and i ask him and he says busy with work,...but after reading the LDF book on the website...im trying not to be desperate.

[alizee]

hi Alizee,

Thanks for your reply,...i think i can relate to what you feel..., even though i have a kid, and working which takes up most of my time, when im free i wonder too why my SO has not reply to me msgs or call me...(i wonder sometimes that i'm the one with a kid, and i have time to spare...why don't you rite?) i join the community hoping for some answers and advice on whether i'm being too childish (like a teen). It could be that after 3 years i find some one i could connect with and which is why i seem needy?? i don't know.

Yes, so this is a forum used for us to vent. Like today I am sure that I won*t be talking to him, because he is at work now, will be until 5 pm, will get home at about 6 pm and then he will go play soccer with his friends until about 8 pm. He will get very tired, take a shower and then watch o soccer match on tv that starts at 9 pm. Then go to sleep. Seeing him like that makes me afraid to call him (because I could call him!), but I don*t want to disturb him and hear him on the phone being distant, cold but polite!
I mean I don*t want to sound so desperate here, but can*t he make time to send me one text (it takes him one minute!!!), but I am trying to be understanding here and not be so selfish ... he needs space and time alone, and I am glad I know most of his work days program and weekend program too, because he told me. I guess this is sincerity from his part, but I can*t help feeling a little left out ...

[yubashini]

Thanks Chlo,

I need some advice....when in a LDR, when is a healthy time to talk about sex. Me and SO are not teens anymore...is it natural to have the sex talk after a month?