Hello from the cold South

[TexastoFinland]

Hello,

I live in Houston and my love lives in Turku, Finland. Although he is in his family home in Lapeenranta, Finland now. Today has been one month since I arrived in FInland for my three week holiday. We have been dating long distance for most of our relationship. It was a difficult decision to move back to the U.S. in the beginning of something good. I am sure coming back for school will be a good thing for us in the future. The jobs in FInland are not so many for foreigners who speak no Finnish. If we are to close the distance and I am to have an option for work there I need a Master's Degree.

Anyway the most difficult thing is leaving when we see each other. We always have a big fight when I leave. I just realize after the 5th time I have left him that we always fight because it is easier to part that way

Does anyone else find themselves leaving in a huff because it is easier? I remember the first time we parted when I left in August 2012, it was very difficult and I cried.. he said " dont cry this isn't the last time you are going to see me or talk to me." Every time I leave I wonder if this is the last time? I think it is easier to be mad then think that?

Anyway, I look forward to chatting with you all!

Regards,

Sheree

[Moon]

Welcome! It's nice to see another US/Finland LDR here

No, we never argue before we leave, we just do it and deal with being miserable and trying to get back into the swing of things.

[piratemama]

No, I've not left in a huff, but we've only parted once. I don't think I could do that to me, though, as he is tender-hearted. I can see what you mean, though. Many times people cover hurt and pain with other emotions. It makes sense. The parting is such an awful process, and it carried on for months after!!!

[TexastoFinland]

Usually by the time I lift off, he is Ok. I arrived in Heathrow and I turned on my phone and he left me a message on What's App about calling him on Viber when I arrive in London! I just think FInns dont know how to deal with feelings and he starts a fight everytime. I used to leave thinking is it over? It was weird at first!!

[TwoThree]

Welcome, fellow Finn lover My SO's family lives near Turku so it's a city that I love visiting whenever I'm in Finland.

About the fighting, it has never happened to me with my SO, although I think it's a common coping mechanism, and it's happened with friends. Hope you find a way to deal with it. I hear you about Finnish men having problems dealing with their emotions, though At least some of them.

[Lilly9886]

Welcome to LFAD!

[abna1]

Welcome Sheree ! Good luck with your degree. Hope everything works out well for you

[jana89]

Welcome to forums While we may fight a bit during the time, we never fight when one of us is leaving. It is just about us being sad and trying not to prolong saying goodbye too much, cause we both feel like crying .... So it is just hug and kiss and "see you again"

[BabyGund]

to LFAD!

We don't fight, but I could see why a couple could...it's just a reaction to the bad feelings of being forced apart. As long as you realize it's a pattern, you can make changes to make that separation easier.

[TexastoFinland]

Welcome to forums While we may fight a bit during the time, we never fight when one of us is leaving. It is just about us being sad and trying not to prolong saying goodbye too much, cause we both feel like crying .... So it is just hug and kiss and "see you again"

Yes this is the way normal couples act... you know, sad to see each other go. Instead it's like blah blah blah......Anyway, Thanks for the welcome!!

[TexastoFinland]

Welcome Sheree ! Good luck with your degree. Hope everything works out well for you

Thank you!! Yes I hope so too. It's already been now my lat semester. I need to finish my thesis in FInland this summer and I present to the Thesis board in the fall and I get my diploma in December!! I hope the work will come then!! I just have to believe in the best!!

[TexastoFinland]

Welcome, fellow Finn lover My SO's family lives near Turku so it's a city that I love visiting whenever I'm in Finland.

About the fighting, it has never happened to me with my SO, although I think it's a common coping mechanism, and it's happened with friends. Hope you find a way to deal with it. I hear you about Finnish men having problems dealing with their emotions, though At least some of them.

Hello, I dont like Turku actually at all. Helsinki si my place, the place I love. My first Finnish boyfriend I met here in Texas on vacation and Ive never been able to get over those FInnish men. SO much that I just had to chuck it all and move there in 2007. I don't think I'll ever go back to American

[differentcountries]

We don't fight because he does not do fighting, but he can become melankolic and like what is the point... Which is hurtful to me. I will try a new strategy this time, time will tell if it works. Welcome to LFAD!

[Heavenly_Love12]

to the forum! I'm working on a Master's degree too and hope yours is going well!

My SO and I haven't fought prior to leaving but I can see how it can occur. I'd almost rather be angry than sad because I can get things done when I'm angry! As long as you know that you're using the anger instead of being sad, I think it is fine.

[Firefly]

Welcome to LFAD.