it's 1:08 am here in Colombia - and i just signed up to this forum... oh boy, what a relief! so i'm not the only crazy gal to hop on a plane to go stay with a guy i had been talking for less than two months and whom I hadn't ever skyped with - all this on Christmas Eve.
im Colombian, he's from Texas. we met online last October in OkCupid. Ever since we started texting all I kept thinking was how lucky I was to find such an incredibly sexy, hot, intelligent guy...and of course how terribly hard it would be to fall for someone living so far away from me. ( not falling, but of course the natural consequences of a LDR-to be)
Fortunately, we both agreed we didn't want to wait too long to actually meet in person. And so, one day (first week of December) -after having just another goofy conversation on what it would be like to be together- he asked if i could come and spend Xmas holidays with him and his family. (Initially he was going to come down here, but he couldn't because of his job - and I got kinda disappointed). So I was thrilled at the possibility of seeing him for Xmas... and I honestly didn't think he was talking for real. But he was! He said he would fly me over.
By then, I had already seen a lot of pictures of him, his family, and we had gone official everywhere (family, coworkers, friends, Facebook, etc). It really felt like I knew who he was, and I'm sure it was just the same for him. I had even started texting with his mom! But we hadn't ever skyped!
so, yeah - it was crazy! The craziest thing I've ever done, even though I had nothing but good, solid reasons to trust him and embark on this adventure. I was so confident I should do it... But my mom (and almost every person I care about) got angry at me.
They thought I had lost my mind. They were offended by the idea of me turning them down for spending Xmas with a complete stranger! It was hard - I could see why my mom worried so much. I worried too - I knew I could be risking too much (not in terms of personal security) but maybe just by letting things go too fast! Oh but, I couldn't resist the idea of seeing him. Of course I wanted everything to be perfect - but even knowing things could not work out seemed fair enough: the feelings were so intense and our connection so strong, I couldn't handle that situation any longer even if I wanted to. So it had to be done.
I spent almost 20 hours in total to get there (I had to share a ride in a van, and take 3 different planes -sigh!) BUT I spent two weeks with him and his lovely family. Two weeks that changed a lot of things in my life. Drastically.
Now I'm in a LDR - learning a great deal about what loving someone patiently and unconditionally really is like.
Some days I'm walking on sunshine, while others I'm just totally down and pessimistic. But I do make my best effort from the very moment i open my eyes to be mindful, so that I can always give my best and move away from expectations. Unhealthy, painful and impractical expectations - ugh!
And for some strange reason I feel like I have to come up and talk about this. No one in my family understands it completely. I can see my close relatives accepting it and wishing me the best, but I know deep in their hearts they think I'm just a step from getting my heart broken to pieces. None of my friends get it either: they all say I could just find someone as special as him, and save myself all the pain and longing from being in a LDR.
It's been a month and a half since we parted, and it seems like age. oh, Im a 100% sure y'all know how bad it feels. I guess that's why I joined this forum. So that I can learn from you, and so that I can give you my support as well.
I'm sure I don't have as much experience as a good number of you do. It's impressive: some of you have been in LDR for years and years - and here I am weeping and it's all been less than 6 months!
I can't sleep tonight. There's no reason other than I crave being with my SO, but there's no point in telling him that one more time. I know he does miss me too, and he probably thinks exactly the same: why say it just one more time! It feels that the more you say it, the harder it gets. It only makes you wonder if you'll be able to handle another month without your SO!
We are planning to see each other again in April. We haven't yet seriously discussed closing the distance other than just fantasizing about places we would like to move in - and the kind of lifestyle we would have. I think we are both afraid of just doing everything too quickly and feeling like we didn't enjoy the sweetness of romance..
I'm perplexed at the fact I actually gave a LDR forum a try. I can't believe I've just typed all this, and I'm even more surprised at the fact I'm going to post this. Have any of you ever thought it would be useless and just a reflection of desperation and craving... to sign up for a forum like this? I surely don't mean to be rude at all, guys. I deeply understand our motivation to come and pour our hearts out... Oh but I'm so scared!
I guess I'll shut my beak now. I feel a little better after this rant. I'm thankful for anyone taking the time to read it - even if you don't reply. This is already helping me a lot.
I wish y'all wake up in high spirits for a new week that has just begun,
Hugs!
im Colombian, he's from Texas. we met online last October in OkCupid. Ever since we started texting all I kept thinking was how lucky I was to find such an incredibly sexy, hot, intelligent guy...and of course how terribly hard it would be to fall for someone living so far away from me. ( not falling, but of course the natural consequences of a LDR-to be)
Fortunately, we both agreed we didn't want to wait too long to actually meet in person. And so, one day (first week of December) -after having just another goofy conversation on what it would be like to be together- he asked if i could come and spend Xmas holidays with him and his family. (Initially he was going to come down here, but he couldn't because of his job - and I got kinda disappointed). So I was thrilled at the possibility of seeing him for Xmas... and I honestly didn't think he was talking for real. But he was! He said he would fly me over.
By then, I had already seen a lot of pictures of him, his family, and we had gone official everywhere (family, coworkers, friends, Facebook, etc). It really felt like I knew who he was, and I'm sure it was just the same for him. I had even started texting with his mom! But we hadn't ever skyped!
so, yeah - it was crazy! The craziest thing I've ever done, even though I had nothing but good, solid reasons to trust him and embark on this adventure. I was so confident I should do it... But my mom (and almost every person I care about) got angry at me.
They thought I had lost my mind. They were offended by the idea of me turning them down for spending Xmas with a complete stranger! It was hard - I could see why my mom worried so much. I worried too - I knew I could be risking too much (not in terms of personal security) but maybe just by letting things go too fast! Oh but, I couldn't resist the idea of seeing him. Of course I wanted everything to be perfect - but even knowing things could not work out seemed fair enough: the feelings were so intense and our connection so strong, I couldn't handle that situation any longer even if I wanted to. So it had to be done.
I spent almost 20 hours in total to get there (I had to share a ride in a van, and take 3 different planes -sigh!) BUT I spent two weeks with him and his lovely family. Two weeks that changed a lot of things in my life. Drastically.
Now I'm in a LDR - learning a great deal about what loving someone patiently and unconditionally really is like.
Some days I'm walking on sunshine, while others I'm just totally down and pessimistic. But I do make my best effort from the very moment i open my eyes to be mindful, so that I can always give my best and move away from expectations. Unhealthy, painful and impractical expectations - ugh!
And for some strange reason I feel like I have to come up and talk about this. No one in my family understands it completely. I can see my close relatives accepting it and wishing me the best, but I know deep in their hearts they think I'm just a step from getting my heart broken to pieces. None of my friends get it either: they all say I could just find someone as special as him, and save myself all the pain and longing from being in a LDR.
It's been a month and a half since we parted, and it seems like age. oh, Im a 100% sure y'all know how bad it feels. I guess that's why I joined this forum. So that I can learn from you, and so that I can give you my support as well.
I'm sure I don't have as much experience as a good number of you do. It's impressive: some of you have been in LDR for years and years - and here I am weeping and it's all been less than 6 months!
I can't sleep tonight. There's no reason other than I crave being with my SO, but there's no point in telling him that one more time. I know he does miss me too, and he probably thinks exactly the same: why say it just one more time! It feels that the more you say it, the harder it gets. It only makes you wonder if you'll be able to handle another month without your SO!
We are planning to see each other again in April. We haven't yet seriously discussed closing the distance other than just fantasizing about places we would like to move in - and the kind of lifestyle we would have. I think we are both afraid of just doing everything too quickly and feeling like we didn't enjoy the sweetness of romance..
I'm perplexed at the fact I actually gave a LDR forum a try. I can't believe I've just typed all this, and I'm even more surprised at the fact I'm going to post this. Have any of you ever thought it would be useless and just a reflection of desperation and craving... to sign up for a forum like this? I surely don't mean to be rude at all, guys. I deeply understand our motivation to come and pour our hearts out... Oh but I'm so scared!
I guess I'll shut my beak now. I feel a little better after this rant. I'm thankful for anyone taking the time to read it - even if you don't reply. This is already helping me a lot.
I wish y'all wake up in high spirits for a new week that has just begun,
Hugs!
to the forum! I'm sure you'll find support and wonderful advice here! There are some great people and everyone understands what it is like to far away from the one you love.
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