First Post Ever!

[taylorhulett]

Well hello there! My name is Taylor and I am new to this community as of about an hour ago. I met my girlfriend about a month ago in Japan and we decided to start a long distance relationship from Colorado to Japan. I have no experience with long distance but I really like this girl, I don't know what it is but there is something different in this relationship than my past ones... Anyway we were in Japan for about a month and then moved to long distance. I guess I am pretty nervous about only knowing someone for a month and then moving into this big commitment. But every time we Skype (pretty much twice a day) all those feelings go away. I love seeing her and talking to her. Now we are trying to make plans to see each other again neat the end of August and then again in November, but money is definitely a huge factor with flights and what not. OH! I forgot to mention she is going to school in Hawaii which is pretty great because then she will be SO much closer! But still a challenge with work and school. I have heard the first part of a long distance relationship is the hardest as we are truing to still figure it all out, and I think we are feeling that! She has been in one long distance thing before and she said it wasn't great. I am really trying to make it different and put in a lot of effort and I think it's working as we both are still talking everyday and making those travel plans. I guess the thing I am hanging on to is when she said "I don't want to do a long distance relationship but I really like you." Is that good bad?? Thoughts??

Sorry for the long and possibly confusing post. But I would really appreciate some support!

Thanks

[JaneEmily]

It sounds from her past experience in an LDR, especially as it didn't turn out that great that she has some reservations for another. But, your relationship is still brand new - keep doing what you're doing, keep communicating, looking forward to visits, figuring out stuff to do together - make Skype dates etc and I'm sure you guys will work out fine!

I was in a LDR before my current one, and it didn't work out - but this one is completely the opposite to my first one (I was quite young and naive in my first one so what I thought was something, really wasn't but what I have now is the real deal and we've been LDR for nearly 3 years). But like I said, no relationship is the same so keep doing what you're both doing and in time her doubts will be reassured.

Good luck and welcome to LFAD!

[taylorhulett]

Thanks so much for the fast reply! Heres a question... I am pretty future oriented and I know in LDR's that can be pretty important... Because it is so new, I have no idea if we should be talking about the future... Part of me is like no take it one day at a time... and the other is like well we are only going to see each other once or twice every 4 months so we need to get on the same page...

[JaneEmily]

Thanks so much for the fast reply! Heres a question... I am pretty future oriented and I know in LDR's that can be pretty important... Because it is so new, I have no idea if we should be talking about the future... Part of me is like no take it one day at a time... and the other is like well we are only going to see each other once or twice every 4 months so we need to get on the same page...

Considering how new your relationship is, I think it may be a bit too early to discuss the future so soon. I think you should focus on getting to know each other better to find out your goals in life first and foremost, and focus on having those visits. You can do a lot of "getting to know each other" through Skype, as the emotional bond - I feel personally - is much stronger than a normal CD relationship, imo.

Me and my SO only did a few months in because we had known each other for a year and a half (before becoming a couple), so we already knew each other's ambitions, personalities and the type of people we were and what we wanted. But what worked for me and my SO, might not work for you and yours, and so forth. I would recommend taking it one day a time for now, until a few months down the line when you feel like you both need that talk and have gotten to know each other on a deeper emotional level - incase it freaks your SO out about the future. When it comes to that point, perhaps try hinting at it with "so where would you like to see yourself a few years down the line? Personal ambitions, career choices?" etc and see how she responds

[Lilly9886]

Welcome to LFAD!

[taylorhulett]

Thanks so much! SO helpful!

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

Welcome to LFAD

[AngelofFluffiness]

Welcome to LFAD!
As for your problem, it sounds like you just got to keep discussing it with her. Something about her old LDR didn't go well and sometimes things like that just can't be fixed. But you can only do your best and see where it goes. ^^