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    Hello from Middle Earth

    Hi,

    I'm new to LDR's and generally discussing my issues on the internet, but with this I felt the need to try anything I can to make the best of my new situation. I live in New Zealand where I am studying for a PhD, originally from England where all my friends and family are, and also now where my relatively new partner lives too.

    My fella and I have been friends for a long time but one or the other has always been in a relationship or moving to different cities etc. It wasn't until he decided to do a big round the world trip and came to visit that we realised how much we liked each other. He obviously left after a few weeks to continue his journey/return home to England and we talked none stop. A month and a half later I had to return to England for visiting family and some conferences and we ended up discovering what we had been missing out on all these years! I left England at the beginning of November to return here and now find myself in a situation I've avoided like the plague in every relationship I've ever been in: long distance. There is an end in sight though! He has decided to move over here come February, I know in comparison that makes me nowhere near the level of strain you guys go through but the complete opposite ends of the world part is the biggest hurdle to get over with mine, 11400 miles is a LOOONG way.

    I come to the forum in hope to find some tips, maybe learn if my strange alone in the dark worries are normal and to hopefully gain some positivity towards the coming few months while I try to cope with the holidays alone from everyone I know and the big workload I will experience during this time.

    Anyone in the same sort of boat please hit me up as I'm great at being an agony aunt not so great at taking my own advice though
    Thanks

    #2
    Welcome. Know that every one of us feels or has felt the exact same way. Long distance is tough. But worth it in the end. Good luck!
    sigpic

    I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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      #3
      Yes perfectly normal in an LDR.... try to stay positive and not to focus on the negative and you'll get through it

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        #4
        Welcome to LFAD!


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          #5
          Thanks for the welcome guys Yeah I'm trying to stay positive, today is one of those days where it isn't going too well but otherwise I'm sort of coping. Hopefully I can find some tips on here to help!

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            #6
            Welcome!!!

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              #7
              Welcome! And yes...stay positive. We've all have these same feelings. It sucks, it's lonely, you may pout, cry, get pissed off, etc...but once he's in your arms again you realize very quickly why you've put yourself through it all!
              "I ran to him. I dropped my luggage and ran to him. My heart melted in my chest as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel him. I could kiss him. I could smell him. He was real. He was here. He is mine."

              He could be a million miles away...and still be worth every single mile <3

              We met in 2012
              We became a couple in April 2014
              Our lips first met August 8, 2014
              Our beautiful 2nd visit was November 2014
              Hoping to visit again for a New Years kiss
              We'll spend my birthday and Valentines day in each other's arms <3 - Feb 2015
              Our "spring break" in March 2015
              Summer fun - June 2015
              DISNEY WORLD!!! Sept 2015



              LOVE > DISTANCE
              QUALITY > CONVENIENCE

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                #8
                I was in a similar situation - I went away to school in another country and my SO of five or so years stayed behind (as did all of my family and friends, obviously!) We were long distance for almost four years and I finally went back home for good a couple weeks ago - it can be done! I know it's particularly hard in this scenario with your friends and family back home but hopefully you've been able to make a few friends who can keep you occupied especially when you're feeling down or lonely.

                Is he moving to be with you until you finish your PhD or do you both plan to stay in NZ after you finish? Just curious
                In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
                In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
                -- Maya Angelou

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                  #9
                  Thanks for the welcomes once again guys,
                  I am having a definite pouty day today when he told me some barmaid was flirting with him and stroking his hair :s (he has long hair and obviously time difference means my morning is his night).
                  Its good to hear it can be done I just dont really know how to occupy myself when things like this come up and while I'm really angry, I'm not angry at him at all, just frustrated someone is pawing at him while I cant even be in the same country!
                  The only thing thats made today better is he has finally booked his ticket so hes definitely coming over and lands on the 2nd of February, so I finally have a confirmed end date.
                  rhabdoviridae he is coming over for the duration of my PhD, then if all goes well we'd be moving somewhere else probably, as while we both love NZ, science sort of expects you to go where the work is rather than settle down anywhere. Its good that you've got to your end though I'm happy for you

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