Should I mention this to him?

[Snap]

Okay, so it's been a few weeks since I've last seen my boyfriend. He's been working on this project, paper, and a presentation that's due tomorrow so needless to say he's been very busy. Fortunately we've been able to talk on the phone every night and everything for the most part seems to be okay... But I'm getting this deep gut feeling that he's having doubts about our relationship. I think what's spurring this is that we haven't set up a time for our next visit. We usually almost always have a set date in mind. Yesterday on the phone, I asked him if he was going to be busy next week so I could visit him. Maybe there was a lot of pessimism in my voice (because I'm worried that he's losing interest) because I prefaced my question with "Well it's probably too early for you to tell if you're going to be busy." Ugh. This has been happening a lot recently. I've been having so much fear and pessimism that it slips out in our conversations like that.

I'm trying my hardest to be rational and logical about this situation. I can't find any concrete evidence that he is losing interest. I mean I should be flattered that he takes time each night to talk to me on the phone because he doesn't even do that for his friends. But it's just this gut feeling, you know? I can't explain it. It just feels like something isn't right.

My therapist in the past told me to always think about these sort of things before I bring them up to my SO because I have a huge tendency to create problems in my head that aren't really there. I have imagined and created so many "problems" throughout this relationship and I need to stop. I can't tell you how many times I've imagined that I thought he was losing interest by jumping to crazy conclusions. But I'm really worried that he's starting to pick up on this and it's instilling doubt in him.

I just don't know what to do.

[Bethypoo]

I have a tendency to create a problem in my head too. I go for the worst case before I go to maybe the most logical one.

He is under pressure to get a lot done. So just wait until it is all tuned in and done and then approach him about it. Let him know that you miss him and if now is a better time to figure out when you are going to see him next. Because if he has that much school stuff he may just be jumping to the worst cases as well.

[Mara]

I think the best thing to do when you know you are being irrational is just to tell yourself so. He's still talking to you on the phone every night and the two of you are trying to plan another visit [although you may not have a date set yet] so there's no reason to suspect he's losing interest. Maybe you are just feeling a bit insecure because not having another visit planned is a change in you and your SO's routine?

[kittyo9]

If you are so worried about it, honesty is the best policy. Telling him how you're feeling will at least give you some answers. If you can't work out out on your own, it may be wise to ask him about it.

[Jgui]

I TOTALLY understand what you're going through... My SO is in his last year of graduate school and is always slammed with homework and projects. His day starts at 8am and sometimes he'll be in school whole day working on his projects... So I could go few days without hearing from him. It did bugged me and upset me in the beginning but now I can handle it better.

At least your SO is taking time out to talk to you every night. We used to do that as well but it only lasted for about 2 weeks and that drove me NUTS! I do sometimes feel he's losing interest and start building this whole story up in my mind that he is only with me for the time being until he leaves next year.. I scream at myself when my mind started to wonder.

I well know he isn't losing interest because at the end of all his chaotic life and projects he will contact me and plan to spend the weekend with me. I've learned to just be there when he is free and he'll shower me with his love