right so, just over 3 weeks in and theres is one big constant annoyance. everyone litteraly, keeps asking me "why are you going out with someone youve never met?" "how can you love someone who lives in canada?" and then on top of all that theres the useual "how do you know your in love, your only 15" crap, and i just wanna know what other people do about this? cause hereing my bestfriend tell me that its all gunna fail, and shit like that, hurts quite alot, so anyone know how to sort it out?
-
-
Well my friends were like that at first but I got tired of it and just said "If you cared, you would support me and stay out of it"I know some of your friends care and worry but if they are truly your friends they would stay out of it and see how happy your SO makes you. -
I dont get that from my friends but i do get it from family members, just ignore them because they have no idea what they are talking about. They are not in your shoes until they are tell them to shut up and also tell them that most LDR's work and most of them get married and stay married until dead do them part!Comment
-
i think you really just have to ignore them. I know its easier said then done. I don't get that from my friends, well not anymore. At first my bff was so mad at me and telling me that I am talking to someone who can be anyone they want to be and blah blah and I finally told her that I love him, and if she doesn't like it, then she can just go away. Well I wasn't that mean, I just told her how much he meant to me and he would call when we were together and she finally came around to see how happy he made me and she is ok with it now. She hates the fact that we haven't met in person yet, but the time will come when its right.Comment
-
on the last one: i'm 17. my SO Garrett is 15. i know for a fact he knows what love is. sure, most 15 year olds don't, but some do. i believe i did. love is something that some of those friends might not understand. just be happy with what you have. you'll have to endure those questions until they get tired of asking, but it's a small price to pay for what you have. good luck to you!Comment
-
My friends and family know not to pull that crap on me. If they tell me one word, they know they will have to pay a hefty price. I care about them all very much, but when I'm pissed I'm out for blood. Only my grandparents and my mother are allowed to question me because of the amount of respect I have for them. Fortunately, they absolutely love him. While my grandparents haven't met him yet, my mom has and she's seen just how good he is to me. That's more out of luck and the fact that we're both legal adults. While I've made bad decisions in life (recovering drug addict), they know I wouldn't be with someone so long if there wasn't something good there. Hell, he got me sober. 9 months and counting.
The only thing you can really do is tell them is that you know what you're doing. You understand the risks, and that you're making yourself very vulnerable to heartbreak (hopefully not kidnapping too or I'd agree with your friends and family XP). They need to trust you though. So unless they see evidence of you being miserable, in an abusive situation, or evidence of either one of you cheating, do not butt in. Wait until you come to them first. Are you happy? If you are, remind them of that. Why ruin something that's making you truly happy not involving drugs or whoring around unprotected?
Comment
-
my friends were AWFUL about my LD boyfriend. i hadn't expected such a negative reaction at all. these people knew me for YEARS and they still questioned it. i had to run away and almost cry because i was so shocked and couldn't take it. i didnt even bother trying to reply to their ridiculous questions. i just completely ignored them, and 9 months later they dont think its so stupid anymore.
so you just have to wait it out, once you get further into your relationship they will realize how much this person actually means to you and that you are actually serious. until then it really sucks thoComment
-
I know exactly what you mean. My friends are seemingly alright with my relationship, but they ask me the same things. "How can you date someone so far away that you've never met? How do you know they're not cheating on you? I could never do that." Sometimes they go as far to try to set me up with their guy friends... I tell them I'm not interested and they stop for awhile, but it'll come up again some other time. :/
I pretty much just ignore the comments. Sure, I would love for them to be more enthusiastic and supportive about it, but I'll take what I can get. At least they know about it and occasionally will find something that Ray does for me sweet (when I tell them about it). I think it just takes time for them to get used to it. After they realize that we've been together for so long and can see that we care about each other that's like the strongest case you can have. The 'proof' is there.
I've found that people who have never been in that situation (meeting someone online and dating LD) find it difficult to relate to. Even to a point where they can't even wrap their heads around the idea. I understand where they're coming from. There was a time when I couldn't either... until it happened to me. I assume most of the time the things they say are out of ignorance and they really don't know what they're talking about. ^^;; But that's why this place is so awesome. It's filled with people who understand. ^^
Comment
-
It takes time... once your relationship becomes steady and both of you have gone and visited the other things should not be as bad.Comment
-
hm i never had this but my friends keep on telling me itd be better to break up with cause they think im depressed and get physically sick. i just ignore them or rather tell them i appreciate their care but that im not gonna change anything. i love him and they know that, so they accept my decisions...Comment
-
You should kindly tell them to mind their own bussiness!Comment
-
I've actually met the SO....we met out, exchanged numbers, found out he was military, and it just happened to work, we decided to give the LDR a try and it's worked thus far. My family likes him and considering it had been 2 years since I was actually willing to put the "boyfriend" label on a guy my friends knew I was more than serious about it and supported me from the beginning. And let me tell you....idk what I'd do without them.
Tell them! Sure I'm only 15, maybe you think I'm too young to know what love is, and maybe you think this is a really big mistake....but what if it's not! I love him and if I don't at least attempt to make this work I'll regret it and wonder for the rest of my life! Look no one in an LDR is going to tell you it's EASY, so it's really important to me that you give me your support and are there for me. If not you're not a real friend. End of story. So are will you be there for me or not?!
I think it's also a shock. In time they may be more behind you. They could also just be worried about you and worry that it's just some creeper on the net (hey it happens) so you could also tell them....I understand you may be concerned about me, but you're not expressing it in a way that helps me cope with the stresses of a LDR.Comment
-
I generally try to ignore people who say things like that. BUT. The most annoying thing was when my best guy friend and I were talking about this LDR on a show. This was in a car and there was someone else in the backseat, to make it really awkward. My friend says "Why would someone date anybody that's not around? I mean, there are plenty of good people in the area. It's just selfish..." and then he caught himself. I said merely "Tell me about it." and he just replied with, "Sorry..." I just nodded and said it was fine, but I was crushed that my best friend really thought that way.
I had just told him about my LDR the fall before. Before that, my LDR was going for about a year. I just was nervous to tell anyone because of how mean people are. And then... well... oh well... Now I just ignore everyone. And don't tell people I'm not close to that my boyfriend isn't nearby.Comment
-
I'm so sorry to hear this. I sort of know the situation, because people at my school were always on about "How can you be in love with someone you've met over the internet?". And they're sneaky, in the way that they make sure that I won't hear. I KNOW that people still think like that behind my back, even though I've even brought my SO to my school and they've seen he's not some creep, they keep talking. Luckily, my closest friends are very supportive.
I can imagine that it sucks for you when your friends don't realise what it means to you. Like the others have said, you should have a talk with them, if they really were your friends, they should support you! :\
Oh and I'm 15, too, and I've got that "You're too young to know what love" shit as well. After I was upset over ONE argue with my SO once, my mum asked if it was worth staying in the relationship. Has she ever worked on any relationship? Am I REALLY more experienced with these things than HER? Pfft.
And hey, I don't think you stay in a LDR if you just have a crush on someone. I think you do it out of love, and frankly, people who think people below 18 don't know what love is can just be quiet. Love = Love. End of story!
Anyway, enough ranting, I hope this works out for you. Have a good talk with your friends, tell them how you really feel and if they still think that way, then they're not honest friends. :\
Good luck!
Comment
-
thanks for the support, ive spoken to a few of my friends, all bar one are now completely understanding
Comment
Comment