Always too busy to talk!

[sarahsmith]

My boyfriend is attending college 300 miles away and this week is the week before finals so he is constantly doing homework. I understand that it is important for him to study but shouldn't he have time for me too? Does anyone else have this problem?

[Haley53]

If it's the week before finals, I wouldn't consider it a problem. The week before finals week is an insanely stressful and busy week and though it might be nice for him to drop you a text or short Facebook message/e-mail, unfortunately some people prefer and tend to hole themselves up for the week so that they can truly focus on getting their work done; on top of completing his work, he's likely having to study and prepare for the finals themselves too. If this isn't something that happens on a regular basis, I'd try and be patient with it and keep yourself busy with other things. Different people require and follow through with different levels of studying. It's only a week or two before he's free for the winter holidays. I know it's hard, but I say deal with it.

[CynicalQuixotic]

It's the week before finals. A lot of us are in school here and pretty much all of us are in over our heads with work. Wait until finals are over before you complain.

[sarahsmith]

Okay but he has time to play xbox and watch movies but he can't talk to me for like 10 minutes?

[CynicalQuixotic]

He's probably just trying to de-stress and maybe doesn't realize that you feel ignored. Does he answer your texts? Has this been going on for a while, or just this week?

[ushiwakafox]

How can you tell that he's playing games and watching movies? I agree with you and Eclaire about sending you a short message or something to keep you updated, but that's just how some people are. It seems like guys in particular lock themselves for the week before finals. And even if he is playing games and watching movies, maybe that's just his way of winding down and relaxing in the midst of the stresses of finals.
Just hang in there, it won't be too much longer. Trust me, I went through the exact same thing. It sucks, but complaining about it won't solve anything.

[Haley53]

It's possible he's using those things as ways to unwind? I know sometimes my partner would come home and unwind with an online game, same as I might come home after my longer days at school and still chat to him, yes, but be primarily watching something on Hulu. Sometimes I get offline to go read. I don't mean this cruelly, but talking to people can take effort. It takes brain power. Sometimes I'm exhausted and simply want to do nothing but something mindless, like reading or watching a movie or some TV. I think a lot of people burnt out on homework and studying for finals tend to prefer mindless dribble/drib-drab. I can understand where you're coming from, but I do think you should be a little bit more understanding about the fact it's still finals week. He's going to be under more stress/pressure than normal. My finals were finally over yesterday and leading up to it, I didn't have the time for my partner that I usually do. I couldn't really engage in what he wanted me to engage in. Yet I did take time to watch the new House episode after studying before getting back to it. It had nothing to do with my partner, more to do with the fact that I was focused on studying and wanted a quick break doing something mindless to unwind before going back to studying. Like CQ said, give it until after finals week before you let it become this much of a problem. :/

---------- Post added at 08:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:49 PM ----------

I should get a medal for how many times I used the word "mindless." -_- Sorry for the repetition.

[sarahsmith]

Yes, he has sent me quick texts but hasn't like called me or talked to me for more than five minutes. But you are probably right with waiting until after finals to see if things change. Thank you for the advice! It's just tough not being able to talk to him as much as i'd like

[DarkStarrx]

I would definitely wait til after finals. If it doesn't change you have a problem. In the meantime I would continue to send "goodnight/morning" and "have a nice day" texts/emails. If things don't improve then he cannot come back and say "well you're the one who just dropped off the face of the earth."

[floridaellen]

I completely admit that I did the same thing starting the Wednesday before finals. Thankfully, my finals were done today! My SO did start to feel a little ignored but he understood it was important to me.
And I did watch a lot of Scrubs during finals week. It helped me destress because I'm seen all of them so I don't have to pay much attention.
Don't worry so much! It's okay :]

[Pineapplebun]

I would agree with all the above posters. When it comes to finals I go totally M.I.A to just focus on studies and I'd personally find talking to other people too distracting, especially a SO because you really can get carried away talking to them, and you miss talking to them so it can kinda take you out of the studying mode so that could also be a possibility.

[annb8888]

yea, I'm having it right now. My SO has finals until next week and he's usually downright exhausted he couldn't stay up to talk to me so I just let him sleep (13 hour difference) and when he wakes up, I'm almost going to sleep so it's my turn to get really sleepy. But we manage to text each other but yea, these days he's just too exhausted.

Don't worry about it too much. Now's the time to do what you held out on doing - maybe a project or a hobby or catching up with your favorite series or movies, hang out with friends or family. Just text him short messages of encouragement and love, and you'll be fine. Soon you'll not even know the week has gone by.

(I'm at present trying to find nice flowers to send to him before finals end)