cheating???

[elizabethjp2010]

My SO isnt cheating on me. I just thought this could be an interesting forum

Would you forgive your SO if they cheated on you?


personally I think I would, I can not imagine my life without Michael. If it was a one time, moment of weakness and he told me straight up what happened, I think I would forgive him.... That being said, if lied about it; even for a week I dont think i could forgive him...

i think kissing, touching, sleeping together, and any other sexy stuff. hugging is OKAY! and i dont care about hand holding. and if his friend needs to rest her head on his shoulder thats ok too!

personally the most dishonesty comes from the lie, not from the cheating.

I have been cheated on before, because the guy i was seeing wanted sex, i wasnt ready for that. so he went somewhere else for it. (many somewhere elses!) than lied to me about it for a long time. My ex and I though went through alot of shit before i finally was 100% willing to give him up. I gave even my friendship with him up for michael, and i am so glad i did that


what would you do? would you forgive him? what are the qualifiers for the forgiveness? what do you consider cheating?

[Dauntedpoet]

It's just not something I can answer. There are to many variables in life to say yes or no.

[Sharon Q]

Personally if My SO cheated on me I wouldnt talk to him, forgive him?, Possibly, but have him in my life still... no.
I've put a lot of effort into our relationship and if he respects me even as a friend he would never betray me like that.

[kiara_silver]

This is more complicating. It depends on the situation. I know i would be hurt. And Im not sure how i would take different situations, i have seen cheating happen and how it never fully goes away even when its been years. Something breaks, and i would never want to experience that, nor could i ever do that to my SO. Although with being hurt other then him sexually cheating on me I would be hurt but I think I could forgive my SO if he meant it, was open and honest, sorry, and made effort to never do it again. But like I said it depends on the situation if I could get over it. Trust is huge in any relationship.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I've had it happen to me today actually. So the answer would be no.

[Dziubka]

It depends on a lot of factors. Like Dauntedpoet said, I can't give a blank yes/no answer either.

However I know for sure, I wouldn't want to know. If my boyfriend cheated on me now and he did it in a way I would never find out about if he didn't tell me or through very freaky unlikely coincidences, I wouldn't want to know. His bad conscience (should he have one) is entirely his business, I wouldn't want any confessions.

For me there are worse things than physicial unfaithfulness. Him sleeping with another woman doesn't necessarily have to be about me, it could be about purely physical attraction between them. Although... I guess in his case that's probably wrong, because he's not one of the people that can separate love and sex - but it would definitely be true for me. There are other things breaking promises, lying, being disrespectful, not trusting me,... that are about me and our relationship with each other that would be a lot harder for me to forgive.

[rubydissolution]

Quite frankly, I don't think I could take him breaking my heart again. So if he cheated no matter the circumstances I'd have to say good-bye. I don't think I have it in me to forgive him something that devastating one more time. It wouldn't matter if it was emotional or physical cheating either, both would destroy me. When it comes down to it, a girls gotta realize she doesn't deserve someone who can't be committed to her 100%. I got drunk, moment of weakness...nothing but lame excuses.

[CanadianGirl]

I don't think I'd ever be able to get remotely intimate with him again. I certainly wouldn't want to talk to him either. If there was an equally painful thing my friends or family could do to me, that would spell the end of the relationship with them too.

[Rugger]

I can't give a yes/ no answer. It would depend on the circumstances that surrounded the cheating. Was it a kiss or full-on sex? Was there emotions involved or was it meaningless? I'd have to consider all my options.

[garnet]

Maybe. It's impossible to say yes or no for sure. Well, actually, I'd forgive. Moving on together is a maybe.

[kteire]

Nope. I guess I think that in order for something like that to happen in my relationship, there would have to be something very wrong to make my SO's eye wander... and then I'd be angry that he didn't speak to me about his feelings before it got to that point. And if it ever happened in... a moment of weakness as people have called it, I would not be able to trust my SO again. I have trust issues, and he knows that I feel like cheating is one of the most hurtful things you can do in a relationship. Even if we worked through it and were happy later, I'd be constantly worrying that he could do it again.

[floridaellen]

If my SO cheated on me, I think I'd forgive him. We've been through so many horrible things together. I'd at least try again. But there would be a lot of trust issues and I'm unsure if we could make it after that.
I would never physically cheat but I have flirted too much which partially destroyed our trust. We had to rebuild trust. It was really difficult. And that wasn't even really cheating.

[books]

Well, it would be very hard for me to forgive. My first serious boyfriend (a relationship that lasted about 4 years) cheated on me numerous times. I would find out and he would grovel and say how sorry he was, I'd ignore him for a few weeks, eventually give in and take him back, then the cycle would just continue. There were a total of 3 infidelities (that I knew about at least) and he always swore it was some momentary lapse of judgment. Oh yea, and I said I couldn't live without him either at the time (at the ripe age of 20).

Looking back I am SO GLAD I didn't end up with him. He did wind up getting into another serious relationship years after we broke up and wound up cheating on his child's mother while she was pregnant! Sorry, but I just don't believe these incidents turn out to be one time only deals and I personally, would be absolutely crushed if my SO cheated on me...so true forgiveness would be very, very difficult.

[Haley53]

I could learn to accept it, move on from it, and maybe some day forgive it, but I could never move on from it with the man/woman who cheated on me. For me, cheating is cheating and it's not circumstantial.

[lucybelle]

It's just not something I can answer. There are to many variables in life to say yes or no.

I agree with this.

Cheating for me is is exchange of bodily fluids (kissing, sex, etc). Groping isn't cheating, but I certainly wouldn't be happy about it.