I don't really wanna have to keep asking for advice but I think I need to once again....
Yesterday, I broke up with my SO on the pretense that he had lied, tricked me and cheated on me. But in actual fact it turns out that wasn't the case...
What happened was I was on Facebook just listening to music and relaxing after doing a lot of my university assignment and I was taking a break. I'd sent a text message to my SO not 15 minutes before asking how he was. A few moments later, a notification came up on my web browser saying that he'd changed his relationship status from "in a relationship" with me to "single." My first thought was what the hell is going on here, so I messaged him since he was online and asked him what was going on cause I was completely confused. He had absolutely no reason to do that since there'd been no arguments between us and things were just fine between us. I got no reply and the next moment he went offline. I pretty much just scratched my head at that point and found myself sitting stunned in my officer chair in front of my computer.
A few minutes later, I got a message from his ex, Jd, who he'd been in a relationship with for 4 years prior to meeting me. They'd split up awhile back, and my ex SO Chris M had been stalked by Jd at least twice. Although he'd reported Jd to the police, nothing had been done and nothing could be done due to a "lack of evidence". This I only found out later. Jd messaged me on Facebook saying that Chris M had gone to bed at 6am that morning and he'd moved to Atlanta so that they could live together. Jd also stated that he loved Chris M a lot. I told Jd that I knew exactly who he was. I think he was pretty chewed off, because Chris M had found someone else, because he made it evidently clear when he messaged me. I gathered from what he'd said that Chris M had been lying behind my back and that he was cheating on me, and I was hurt by that. I don't forgive cheaters or liars, so I wasn't willing to give Chris M another chance.
However, he messaged me earlier this morning and said "Damn, I missed you again didn't I?" when I didn't reply to his hello. I was fast asleep at the time. When I had the chance, I messaged him back, even though I didn't really want to, telling him why he'd missed me and that we needed to talk. I only wanted to talk to find out why, after the negative things he'd told me about Jd that he'd cheat on me for him....I can understand now the fact that because Jd lives with him now that he'd have the temptation to do that, but at the time I wasn't aware of this fact. It just didn't make sense to me.
I'd stopped texting him and he must have quickly picked up on that fact. When I went on Facebook this evening, we had a conversation and it went like this:
Me: We need to talk....
Him: About what? o.o anything bad? o.o if its about the relationship status thing it wasnt me i swear (I later find out that it was Jd who got hold of Chris's phone, saw my text, went on his Facebook page, changed the status then switched to his profile to message me again....why? -_-)
Me: Yeah its about that, i got a message from JD yesterday, he told me you'd moved to Atlanta cause of him
and that you guys were back together and that he loved you. i gathered he went on your profile and changed the relationship status before he messaged me. what am i supposed to think Chris? =/ well i just read Jd's wall...im thoroughly confused now (Jd's Facebook wall is public and everyone can see it and there was a post on there about him being cheated on by Chris because he was with me and that he was angry and feeling hurt...I was beginning to lose track of understanding by this point...>.>) Could you help me understand whats going on cause im lost....?
Him: ok that guy that did that he was the one that i ended it with but he still thinks just because im living with him there's still something there >< thats not tue....now with that said whatever he says is not true.....we are not together ><
I asked him where that left us and he said he still wanted us to be together. I told him I didn't think I was cut out for it, that I'd been hurt too much one last time, and that I didn't want to fight any longer cause even though I cared about him, I just didn't feel like I could manage trying again after this. He told me he's willing to fight the strain of being under the same roof as Jd (which I don't really get but he said it's the only way the jackass is gonna stop following him around everywhere) and that he doesn't want me to give in cause he loves me. He said he wanted to talk to me on msn, face to face, so reluctantly I agreed and we talked for over 2 hours, talking through things.
He says I'm a strong woman and that he thinks I can get through this, and that he wants this to work, but I don't know if my heart can take it anymore. I'm torn in two, quite literally, for reasons I can't explain here without making the thread into an even bigger essay than it is.
I just don't know what to do. He wants to give things another go, but I'm not sure. Can anyone offer me advice?
Yesterday, I broke up with my SO on the pretense that he had lied, tricked me and cheated on me. But in actual fact it turns out that wasn't the case...
What happened was I was on Facebook just listening to music and relaxing after doing a lot of my university assignment and I was taking a break. I'd sent a text message to my SO not 15 minutes before asking how he was. A few moments later, a notification came up on my web browser saying that he'd changed his relationship status from "in a relationship" with me to "single." My first thought was what the hell is going on here, so I messaged him since he was online and asked him what was going on cause I was completely confused. He had absolutely no reason to do that since there'd been no arguments between us and things were just fine between us. I got no reply and the next moment he went offline. I pretty much just scratched my head at that point and found myself sitting stunned in my officer chair in front of my computer.
A few minutes later, I got a message from his ex, Jd, who he'd been in a relationship with for 4 years prior to meeting me. They'd split up awhile back, and my ex SO Chris M had been stalked by Jd at least twice. Although he'd reported Jd to the police, nothing had been done and nothing could be done due to a "lack of evidence". This I only found out later. Jd messaged me on Facebook saying that Chris M had gone to bed at 6am that morning and he'd moved to Atlanta so that they could live together. Jd also stated that he loved Chris M a lot. I told Jd that I knew exactly who he was. I think he was pretty chewed off, because Chris M had found someone else, because he made it evidently clear when he messaged me. I gathered from what he'd said that Chris M had been lying behind my back and that he was cheating on me, and I was hurt by that. I don't forgive cheaters or liars, so I wasn't willing to give Chris M another chance.
However, he messaged me earlier this morning and said "Damn, I missed you again didn't I?" when I didn't reply to his hello. I was fast asleep at the time. When I had the chance, I messaged him back, even though I didn't really want to, telling him why he'd missed me and that we needed to talk. I only wanted to talk to find out why, after the negative things he'd told me about Jd that he'd cheat on me for him....I can understand now the fact that because Jd lives with him now that he'd have the temptation to do that, but at the time I wasn't aware of this fact. It just didn't make sense to me.
I'd stopped texting him and he must have quickly picked up on that fact. When I went on Facebook this evening, we had a conversation and it went like this:
Me: We need to talk....
Him: About what? o.o anything bad? o.o if its about the relationship status thing it wasnt me i swear (I later find out that it was Jd who got hold of Chris's phone, saw my text, went on his Facebook page, changed the status then switched to his profile to message me again....why? -_-)
Me: Yeah its about that, i got a message from JD yesterday, he told me you'd moved to Atlanta cause of him
and that you guys were back together and that he loved you. i gathered he went on your profile and changed the relationship status before he messaged me. what am i supposed to think Chris? =/ well i just read Jd's wall...im thoroughly confused now (Jd's Facebook wall is public and everyone can see it and there was a post on there about him being cheated on by Chris because he was with me and that he was angry and feeling hurt...I was beginning to lose track of understanding by this point...>.>) Could you help me understand whats going on cause im lost....?
Him: ok that guy that did that he was the one that i ended it with but he still thinks just because im living with him there's still something there >< thats not tue....now with that said whatever he says is not true.....we are not together ><
I asked him where that left us and he said he still wanted us to be together. I told him I didn't think I was cut out for it, that I'd been hurt too much one last time, and that I didn't want to fight any longer cause even though I cared about him, I just didn't feel like I could manage trying again after this. He told me he's willing to fight the strain of being under the same roof as Jd (which I don't really get but he said it's the only way the jackass is gonna stop following him around everywhere) and that he doesn't want me to give in cause he loves me. He said he wanted to talk to me on msn, face to face, so reluctantly I agreed and we talked for over 2 hours, talking through things.
He says I'm a strong woman and that he thinks I can get through this, and that he wants this to work, but I don't know if my heart can take it anymore. I'm torn in two, quite literally, for reasons I can't explain here without making the thread into an even bigger essay than it is.
I just don't know what to do. He wants to give things another go, but I'm not sure. Can anyone offer me advice?
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