Facebook Is Evil and I Don't Get It

[megfashion]

to be honest.... facebook was and is great for us. heh.

at the start of our relationship, i didnt actually know his last name (lol... we basically started our relationship when we became friends...) so him giving me his profile to add him was a huge one-up from an awkward conversation! haha
also i didnt have msn at that point... at some points Ebuddy (msn equivelant) would conk out, so we would go onto facebook to talk instead. was absolutely fantastic because it meant we could actually talk to each other! (even close distance we didnt see each other much due to work)

long distance.... amazing. skype on my side is really weird n the connection isnt great... msn isnt good for his side. so if we get peed off at skype, we hang up and go to facebook video chat. its perfect haha.




yes... arguing over facebook happens. but it can happen on msn, skype, twitter, you name it. if you think about it, how many times have you argued close distance, and how many over the internet? problem with msn etc... is that you can sign out... which means both sides can get very very annoyed... close distance you cant just suddenly sign out (well... you could for comic effect if its a rediculous argument haha)


all this password stuff... yeh we both have each other's passwords. yeh ive seen his messages... so what? granted it was by accident... we were on skype at the time and i was going "aaaahhhh SO facebook is going weird and i clicked on messages im not looking i promise!!" to which he laughed and said "so what" :3 ... theres just no point trying to look at each other's messages, we tell each other any conversation anyway hehe.
the only reason we actually gave each other our passwords at the start was to "frape" each other... which we do from time to time (although with the lack of suprise, as we usually say at the start "do you want to be fraped?" haha)

soo yeh... overall i have no problem with it haha

[LuvSsw]

I first got on FB at the suggestion of a friend from highschool, who was organizing an event and wanted to get all people invited into one place where they could send out group messages. I really didn't know much about FB at the time and agreed to sign up. Once I was on there, all kinds of people that knew me found me and were asking to friend me. I was really not that active on it though except for checking the group messages. Oddly enough, certain people, who use FB alot got offended when I took a long time to respond to their messages. As I said, I was not really active on it so I wouldn't see these messages until a week or two sometimes after they posted them. Finally I decided that FB wasn't for me and I deactivated my account. Fast forward into the future where I find myself in a LDR. My then SO asks me to get on FB. I think about it, then reactivate my account. He then asks to change his status to "in a relationship" with me, so I agree. I started to occasionally check his page because he would post all kinds of interesting pictures that he said that he put there for me to see. I still didn't get all the inner workings of FB but I was slowly learning due to my interest in his page. Everything was great...until....he broke up with me via FB status. And for about a week after that, I was tempted to see what was on his page ..but this time I was searching for answers....trying to see if he found someone else. I did check ..a couple of times..and all it did was create more and more questions in my confused mind. I should have left well enough alone. FB to me is fine and is not evil..but like anything it can be used as a tool to help or hurt. Having clearly defined reasons for being on there helps keep things in perspective. Talk to people in person as often as possible and update them via FB or other platform from time to time sounds good.

[Yaaamiii]

My boyfriend and I both have facebook and we both know each others passwords. I don't check his though, and he doesn't check mine. I really don't care to be honest. I think the most facebook drama between our relationship has been that I used to spend too much time on it when I was bored and it did, for a little while, take time away from our time together. I've since cut back. But its never been about what we find on each others profiles. I dunno lol

[Sora1101]

My SO knows the password to my facebook but as far as I know he's never been on it, I have nothing to hide and I honestly don't know why he even asked for my password, for me it's not that I'm insecure or don't trust my SO I'm just a curious person and there's a lot he doesn't share with me, stuff about before we met, he just thinks it's all unimportant so I browsed his facebook early on just to learn some things about him, I asked of course if I could snoop around his profile. It's just easier for the both of us because he finds his past insignificant and I find it fascinating so I get better answers from browsing his profile than I would by asking him. No drama between us. although he still has his status as single so he won't have to deal with everyone commenting on the status change.

[Zapookie]

Both my SO and I have facebook. I'm on there a lot mainly checking out the news feed, but as for my activity, its quite minimal. I post the occasional status and random pictures from my phone, and a song here or there, but thats about it. I'm also always on appear offline on the chat except for my SO and a few of my close friends. He's kind of the same so I don't really worry anymore about what girls are chatting him up etc.

I try to avoid FB drama if I can. One example I can think of was when my SO tagged me in a status saying something like "Kelly is the most amazing xoxo <3", I commented back with the usual "aww you're so sweet etc", and then his ex made it her business to comment on it saying, "chris I'm happy for you with whatever you do but kelly you better make him happy or i'll have to kick your ass". Really? I was SOOOOOOOOOO temped to be a bitch and fight back but I decided to take the higher road and didn't comment on it, he didn't comment on it either. lol.

[megfashion]

Both my SO and I have facebook. I'm on there a lot mainly checking out the news feed, but as for my activity, its quite minimal. I post the occasional status and random pictures from my phone, and a song here or there, but thats about it. I'm also always on appear offline on the chat except for my SO and a few of my close friends. He's kind of the same so I don't really worry anymore about what girls are chatting him up etc.

I try to avoid FB drama if I can. One example I can think of was when my SO tagged me in a status saying something like "Kelly is the most amazing xoxo <3", I commented back with the usual "aww you're so sweet etc", and then his ex made it her business to comment on it saying, "chris I'm happy for you with whatever you do but kelly you better make him happy or i'll have to kick your ass". Really? I was SOOOOOOOOOO temped to be a bitch and fight back but I decided to take the higher road and didn't comment on it, he didn't comment on it either. lol.

haha yeh the SO's ex does that sometimes... instead of confronting her about it i just let off steam n complain to the SO :3 lol

[killerkaytee]

The only problems I've really had about Facebook is it made me feel bad about myself. I would see pictures of my friends and compare my life to theirs and it would get me really down. Lately it's gotten much better because I dont go on as much and if I do, its a quick check and thats it. I really wish I could just delete my account but it is a nice way to talk to old friends and show everyone pictures of Chirs and I. As far as my relationship, Facebook hasn't caused any problems between us, just some self-esteem issues.

[11MikesGirl21]

My boyfriend does nothing of interest with his facebook. It's mostly business related and he's friends with a lot people he has to work with, or parents of kids he works with. He's very boring lol.

I use mine mostly for school. Everything going on on-campus is so facebook based that I have to have it to keep up with stuff going on. I'm friends with people on the floor I live on and the CAs (my school's new fancy term for RA (community advisor)) in my building and a couple people I consider real friends from back home or at school, or people I have a class with so it's helpful to have them on facebook. Alot of my friends are family. I had deleted my facebook for a good month a while back, but I missed so much going on on-campus I had to put it back up.

[Zephii]

We both have facebook, it's a great tool for us internationals, because it's difficult to stay involved in the lives of the people in our other home with the time difference and whatnot.
I think I know his password. I might not though *shrug* We are currently sharing this laptop and his is perminantly logged in on IE while mine is on Firefox. Occasionally we end up on each other's by accident, and it's not a big deal. I also know my sister's password. Occasionally I log in as her to fix her settings (not net savvy that one ) or to post "I'm Gay" as only a little sister can.
With Obi and I though, we don't go through each other's messages, generally at least. I am a snoop and he knows I am, but I'm getting much better about it. He gives me no reason to doubt him, and I stay out of his crap. All my stuff is open to him as well. This site, FB, my diary that I never bother to write in anymore, the works. We don't have secrets except Christmas pressies

I don't see what the big deal is though. I don't facebook stalk him more than anyone else (actually he's pretty boring ) even when we are LD, and I'm not stupid enough to let anything I see there get me worked up, nor is he. Really if it's on FB it's not hidden - anyone can see it - you're held accountable - Thus (I would assume of a reasonable person) you're likely not doing anything wrong.

I've never known anyone IRL to have relationship-destroying drama with facebook, but on a base level the site is there to enhance relationships and make connecting with people easier. My thoughts would be: If something as simple as facebook is destroying your relationship, perhaps it's not a relationship you really want to be in?

[Amelia]

Fb can be frustrating some times especially when it comes to ex bfs/gfs. I have had so many issues with my ex's or my bfs ex's. Some people are immature as my ex actually contacted my bf through fb to say i was cheating, my bf didnt believe him but its just the fact that someone would say that and go out of their way to try and ruin a relationship.

I have also had my bf's ex's posting continuously on his fb saying love u and miss you as well as posting old pictures of them together, he deletes it but sometimes i do see them and that hurts, but i don't know if i should be getting upset about that stuff. He has said i can delete them as friends but i dont want them to know they are getting to me

[Malaga]

Problem with Facebook, Twitter etc is that a lot of people act to impress. Come to think of it, whenever anyone updates their profile, it's to broadcast something to their 'audience', and we all like it when we get likes and comments. Social networks turn people, at least a little bit, into attention seekers, and it's tempting to make your life appear cooler than it is. I guess that's where a lot of the drama comes from. Social networks are like an amplified imitation of life. People flirting with others, posting exaggerated status updates or provocative pics, not because they necessarily feel that way but because they enjoy the attention and approval it brings them. It's like it provides a sort of fantasy setting where some awkwardness and inhibitions they might feel in RL are suddenly diminished. And it's often this inconsistency between their online persona and how they are in RL that's unnerving.

We both have FB profiles and have a number of mutual friends. Neither of us is very active, he basically only uses messages and events, I post an occasional status update and pic album. We're both more active on Twitter and sometimes I do get upset, when he comments on his celeb crushes and stuff like that, I hate to see updates like that. I know he talks to girls there too but that doesn't phase me, it's nothing inappropriate and I know it makes him feel better about himself because in real life he doesn't really have female friends and is a bit awkward with girls in general.

We don't know each other's passwords for anything and we'd never think of asking it either. It's just unnecessary and uncalled for.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I just think Facebook is a pain in the ass. I only have it so I can keep in touch with old school friends, college friends and chat to a couple of friends I have overseas.

[Madge]

I have only skimmed some of the comments but I must admit I did "stalk" my SO a wee bit before we got together officially. When I say stalking I mean staring at his pictures going, "zomg he is so freaking HOT" :P

Now though he doesn't use it that much at all and I really only use it to keep in touch with my friends. It is horrible for drama which has lead me to "restricting" some of my friends posts so I don't see what they are crywanking about.

[lucybelle]

I haven't read all the posts so I don't know if there's a new topic now... but to reply to original question:

I am on facebook way too much (sort of like here). I use it all the time. I love to put up pictures and look at other people's pictures. It's how I keep up with my friends and family at home and everywhere else they are. My SO has a facebook, but only rarely uses it. We don't have each other's passwords, I don't know why we would. That seems weird to me.

Facebook has never caused a problem for my relationships. Just recently (I don't know if you were referring to one of my blog entries or not) I thought my friend was mad that I "divorced" her on facebook. But I figured out she's just pissed at the world right now, which isn't anything new.

So yeah, I love facebook, and it isn't evil

[keypatalina]

I think that it can increase drama, especially in LDRs because you don't see each other as much as you'd like and as pictures of your SO out with their friends pile up, you can become insecure or jealous. I think that it is largely due to insecurity and jealousy, for example there were pictures of my boyfriend out at a concert with his friends and there were some girls in the picture as well, which made me a bit jealous because they were physically with him and I can't be. So, it's more of a frustration than anything. In addition, when guys post on my wall it sometimes irritated my boyfriend because he didn't know who the people were and would get a bit jealous. I should add that my boyfriend has been cheated on in the past, so he's very guarded about trusting and though he trusts me those scars still run deep. We've both deleted our facebooks and haven't had any fights over jealousy since, so, in my opinion, it doesn't help a LDR if you both have facebook as it can lead to jealousy even if you're not a jealous or insecure person.