Can you cheat online?

[Jazi]

Yes. you can definitely emotionally cheat and you can sexually cheat online also.

I'm going to throw another one in.. which may be considered as emotionally cheating to some people but I describe it as "mentally cheating", I would use this term when a person is thinking about another person whilst engaging in sexual activities with their SO, fantasizing about being in a relationship with a person other than your SO and reading more into a friendship with someone other than your SO and 'crushing' on them (even though you're not engaging in inappropriate conversation/interacting with said person, mentally you are dishonouring your relationship)

[Sierra]

Yes. It's emotional cheating when you rely on someone else to meet your emotional needs instead of you SO and it hurts them. Doesn't mean that I believe the emotional cheating is a relationship To me it would be a huge betrayal of trust.

[leonsfangirl]

Doesn't mean that I believe the emotional cheating is a relationship

Not what i was getting at.

Let me try and explain it this way.

Two people met online, lets call them Brian and Sarah (picked at random!!) both single. After a few weeks they develope feelings for each other and talk about said feelings. They agree they want to be move to be together and visits are planned. They do what we all do (text/call/skype) emotional and sexual needs are met. Now Brian used Skype and cyber bumped ugly's with someone else.

Did he cheat?

To me, a betrayal of trust on this scale is cheating. They betrayed the trust by being with someone else, which by definition is cheating.

I did read further up that it was the deception that was worse. So what would happen if they told you what had happened straight away?

[HollzHeartsChris]

Yup, it's possible. And it really does suck when you're the victim of it too.

[Trethsparr]

I did read further up that it was the deception that was worse. So what would happen if they told you what had happened straight away?

Still cheating, in my book.

The way I see it is if you have an emotional or cyber affair with someone else (as there is a real person --whether they are who they say they are -- on the other side), you're still going outside of your monogamous relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, etc. It doesn't matter how long you wait to tell your partner about what you did.

[Sora1101]

Of course it's cheating, if you can maintain a relationship through technology you can certainly cheat through it too.

[Sierra]

Not what i was getting at.

Let me try and explain it this way.

Two people met online, lets call them Brian and Sarah (picked at random!!) both single. After a few weeks they develope feelings for each other and talk about said feelings. They agree they want to be move to be together and visits are planned. They do what we all do (text/call/skype) emotional and sexual needs are met. Now Brian used Skype and cyber bumped ugly's with someone else.

Did he cheat?

To me, a betrayal of trust on this scale is cheating. They betrayed the trust by being with someone else, which by definition is cheating.

I did read further up that it was the deception that was worse. So what would happen if they told you what had happened straight away?

Yeah to me that's totally cheating.
It's a betrayal of trust.

I actually think about your last question regarding cheating all the time. For me, deception is the worst part of cheating, if I'm told about it right away, I think I would be more likely to forgive than I would if a lie was continued.

[Malaga]

I did read further up that it was the deception that was worse. So what would happen if they told you what had happened straight away?

Lying and deception makes you feel so much worse, but honestly I don't think I would be more likely to forgive even if he told me what happened straight away. Certainly not in the 'forgive and stay together' kind of way. Owning up is something that will ease his conscience, and something that might make me get over it sooner. But when it comes to consequences it wouldn't change a thing.

[Kanga]

Yes, its cheating.

[ChibiFelicia]

If you've had the exclusive talk then yes its cheating, in my opinion anyway. In the never met thread i mentioned that for my SO and i we weren't really in the bf/gf relationship till we met....although we had the exclusive talk. So if either of us had done the dirty with someone else then yeah that woulda been cheating.

I just feel it's important to let the person you know how you feel, how you see the relationship going etc etc. Some could just view it as something to past the time...which sounds awful but some ppl just dont see being sexual or what not online as a proper relationship.

[leonsfangirl]

In the never met thread i mentioned that for my SO and i we weren't really in the bf/gf relationship till we met....although we had the exclusive talk. So if either of us had done the dirty with someone else then yeah that woulda been cheating.

Wait a second... you went exclusive BUT didn't class yourself as in a relationship?? Be being exclusive would mean being in a relationship i would have thought.

So, from whats been said it would seem it's cheating (betrayal of trust) regardless of relationship status? (commited/exclusive/waiting till met)

[spiceywolfe]

if a long distance relationship is a legitimate relationship, then online cheating is legitimate cheating. just my opinion.

[Haley53]

Wait a second... you went exclusive BUT didn't class yourself as in a relationship?? Be being exclusive would mean being in a relationship i would have thought.

So, from whats been said it would seem it's cheating (betrayal of trust) regardless of relationship status? (commited/exclusive/waiting till met)

My boyfriend and I were exclusive before we put titles to our relationship. It might not be the popular situation (though regardless of stigma, it seems to be more common than generally thought), but it's possible.

Given the scenario you gave, I think it would be cheating, yes. I would consider it cheating even if you hadn't had "the talk." While no, I will say that it can't quite be counted as "proper" cheating if you weren't explicitly in a mongamous relationship, I still think there's some level of deception if you're being spoken/talked to and treated like a girlfriend; to me, being explicit about being able to see/have fun with other people (online or not) is almost more important than being explicit about being exclusive, because I think in most cases, same as in many friends with benefits/open relationships, one partner starts becoming more and more exclusive/committed and may assume their partner to be on the same track.

However, given the scenario in which case Brian and Sara (was it?) were exclusive and had talked about meeting and futures etc., I would say that this is most definitely cheating. It doesn't matter that Brian told her immediately happened. To me, that's the cheater absolving him/herself of a guilty conscience. I have heard a lot of people say their partner "genuinely regretted it" and was "really really sorry" but it's hard to determine when it's the action that they regret or being caught, or in a case where they come clean about it, if it's the action they're sorry about or if they're terrified they might lose their current relationship. To me, I have yet to see a case of where a cheater cheats and then apologises 100% selflessly and sincerely. I also have yet to see a case in which it happens only once. Usually if it's forgiven, it becomes something that can be forgiven, and so the cheater is more likely to do it again. I think what would add insult to injury is the fact Brian and Sara were in a LDR. It's not even like Brian can use the excuse of compensating for what he can't have in person. He cheated on his distance partner with someone who was equally as unattainable. To me that's like sleeping with your neighbour when you're married and living with your partner.

Personally, the fact he came clean about it wouldn't make it any easier for me. Yes, I may appreciate his honesty, which is a respect he wouldn't have if he kept it from me and I found out, but I could never stay together with him. I don't think I could even speak with him on the level of friendship, he'd have done too much damage. Cheating is cheating, whether they come clean about it or not, and whether they do it online or not. It doesn't change the action or what happened. To me, someone who cheats either isn't fully getting their needs met in their current relationship or they're simply not ready/matured enough for a relationship. And I wouldn't be able to move on from it with that person.

[OceanBlue]

Yes ofc, cheating is not only with physical contact, that's like saying, you can't have a relationship online if you never met yet in my eyes.

[Jenna]

Yes I would consider it cheating.