Quite confused on what to do...

[AsianRawr!]

So my SO and I have been together for 2 years now since yesterday. I had recently found out that she has been playing a game in secret from me and she admitted to it and I was fine with it. However also yesterday I look on there to see what she has been doing and see that her "status" is taken and it was not even me even though she knows I use to play the game. I questioned her about it and this is what she said and I quote "It's just a game, honey". I didn't want to ask her about if its just a game then why did you do that? Frankly, I'm actually hurt by this even though "It's just a game". Can anyone help me on what I should do next?

[Zapookie]

You should talk to her about it, because that's the only way you'll be able to understand what's going on and why she's doing it. Yes, it is just a game but she shouldn't really have a reason for hiding it if that's the case. Maybe talk with her on webcam so that you can read her facial expressions and try to gauge how she's feeling about it.

[AsianRawr!]

If I do talk to her about it then what do I ask, what do I say? Yesterday when I asked about it all night she kept repeating the same thing "It's just a game, Honey". I just want to know why she would do this and not the reasons to not be worried. I mean I even asked her "What if I do the same thing?" and she says "You're doing the same thing?". This is just really confusing my head and hurting my heart.

[Haley53]

My question is when you say her status is "taken," but it's "not even you," does this mean she's in a relationship with someone else on the game (similar to how people do on Facebook) or is it simply that it says "taken" and does not have your name attached to it, even if you used to play the game?

[AsianRawr!]

Ah, I should have clarified that more. It is the that she is taken by someone else in the game that is not me. I found this out by mere chance yesterday since I was curious on what she was doing on there. I end up finding that out though and now I'm just trying to get through it.

[Lyric]

Is this like a role playing game? Sorry I'm a little confused. If so, it's my understanding that it's pretty common to have "relationships" in game that don't mean anything out of game. (Forgive me if I'm wrong here... I haven't gamed in a LONG time)

[AsianRawr!]

Yes it is a RPG but it bugs me because she knows that I use to play it and also it happens to be where we ironically met and got together. I really appreciate these fast replies that are trying to help.

[Haley53]

Hm.

Well I had been about to suggest perhaps she kept it a secret because she didn't want your feelings to be hurt by the fact she was playing it without you or that you hadn't been listed in her relationship status. Whilst I will say that sometimes, yes, it is "just a game," I do think she needs to be more willing to talk about it with you than she has been. Even if it's nothing, there's nothing wrong with wanting to know why her relationship status is set to "taken" by someone else or wanting to know why she had to keep the game from you. Honestly, I would approach her with something like, "I know we've been over this a lot lately and I know you've told me it's just a game, but my feelings are still hurt by it and so I was hoping that we could talk about it." If she repeats that it's nothing more than a game, I would be firm and say, "I know that that's how you feel, but I would appreciate it if you'd respect me and our relationship enough to talk about how I feel." If she's willing to listen about it, then I would tell her that it's not so much the game that upsets you or the status that worries you, it's that she felt the need to keep it hidden from you. It's that you feel if she randomly found out that you'd change your relationship status somewhere else, with someone else, she might feel a little bit worried too, and tell her that whether or not she sees your reasons, what you're wanting is a little reassurance and clarification.

[AsianRawr!]

I understand what you are saying I should do about all of this but what if she manipulates the question into something else? When I attempted to talk to her yesterday about it, she kept telling that over and over but then she changed the subject into the fact that she had gotten me a gift. I will also be honest and say this, she also told me that "I wanted to tell you about it..." but she didn't and I had to find out myself. I'm just extremely confused right now about all of this and the main cause of it all is Why. I question why did she not tell me, why didn't I know about this until now, all of my questions....why? I'm willing to do about everything and anything to find out why. I know I am rambling on but I have a need to do this to get it off my chest. I mean I've told her plenty of things I do and I don't keep a secret from her but why does she keep secrets from me? I just have so many questions that I want answered but I can't get the answer from her. Why?

[Haley53]

If she manipulates the subject when you try to talk to her about it, then I would, again, be firm/direct. I tend to be the sort who flatly says "I'm trying to talk about about this with you. I'm excited for the gift, but now really is not the time to be bringing it up." Some people prefer more, "I'm excited for that, but I can't be as excited as I could/should be because I'm not in the right mindset for it. I really would appreciate if we could talk about this because it's bothering me, and because I don't want it to become an issue that's going to constantly nag at our relationship." If she's the sort to respond to questions, ask her straight up, "why did you hide it from me?" If she says "it's just a game," then tell her "If it's just a game, then why did you feel the need to hide it?" "I wanted to tell you about it..." "Then why didn't you?" I'm not promoting aggression here, but be assertive. You are the one who allows her to change the subject or not, so don't let her. If anything, frame it around the fact that you don't want to be in a relationship where you have to keep secrets from each other.

[AsianRawr!]

I really do appreciate what you have helped me with and I will talk to her later on today about this as it would be bothering me if I didn't talk to her about it at all. If everything turns out the way I see it, everything will be fine.

[Sora1101]

This would hurt me also, especially if it was the game that you met on, you started a real relationship off of said game so her having a status like that to me screams cheating, I know I'm probably the odd one out on this but it's not just a game, relationships can start through games obviously so wouldn't her having her status as taken with someone else mean that she's in a relationship with that person? AKA she's in two relationships at once which is wrong, even if one is strictly based in that game it still counts.