She broke up with me

[Engel]

Guys, I am so so sorry for both of you.

I can't speak for everyone - but I'm sure noone hates you. The end of a relationship is difficult and painful on both sides, for varying reasons.

We're all here for both of you.

Sending you huge hugs, thinking of you both. I'm so so sorry.

I agree with this

[Sierra]

No, only that it happened within the last few weeks I think. She wouldn't give me any answers, but she seemed really confused and sad, but also distant and cold. She just doesn't want me in her life anymore. She made that one clear.

I'm so sorry

[Forever&ever.K.L.]

So sorry. I know it doesn't seem like it now but you will get through this. I promise Try to think of it from this perspective: It's a NEW YEAR, a fresh start at things. Feel better, I'll be thinking of you.

[Ms.Justine]

Time heals all. I'm sorry to hear this.

[Laura_N]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Hugs to you, take care!

[milaya]

I'm so sorry about all this.
I was very surprised when I saw the whole thing on FB.

I think it's even harder to cope with when you didn't even see it coming or felt yourself that things weren't going that well lately.
I wish I would be able to say something that would help you feel better, but I know that no words or virtual hugs can help you forget the heart ache you're feeling now. It's going to take time before you get back on your feet and we all know it's not easy.

I just want to remind you that even though you felt that you've lost a great love, don't forget to love yourself. Be sad, cry even feel anger if you need to, but remember to eat and sleep properly and treat yourself well. (mostly regarding to what you wrote on FB).
And don't forget that there's a lot of people here for your and thinking about you. If you need anything, feel free to contact me as well.


Booglebee: no one hates you or shun you from this community. It must have been a painful choice for you as well and I also wish you the best for the future.

[NaNi]

I'm just so disappointed that she didn't talk to me about this. I could have done something. I would have visited. It could have changed something. I really think it could have. But she never mentioned anything to me.

[London-FortCollins]

I can relate hun. I was asking all the same questions during my break up. One of my friends gave me a great piece of advice, even though it was really hard to hear at the time. She told me that he probably checked out of the relationship long before I did.

To me it was a slap in the face, it all came out of nowhere and all I wanted to do was work on the problems, fix it and make it better. But he was done. In his mind he'd been fighting for it a long time and it wasnt working for him.

Or course on a logical basis this makes no sense - how can he single handedly resolve problems that he has with me right? But it made sense...it was why he didnt want to try.

I don;t know if this applies here but I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is probably not something that has come out of the blue for her. I know that's not really comforting, and if that is the case I can only again say how sorry I am. But with time that little piece of advice did help me...if nothing else it stopped me from torturing myself with the "why?" as much as I could have been doing.

[NaNi]

She told me that she has been thinking about it, but only for the last few weeks. Which is long enough in my eyes as I had no idea. But she just should have talked to me about all this. We were so in love and she said herself how happy she was when I was in New Zealand just like three months ago. It can't change that fast...

[MadMolly]

I am so sorry this happened. But, having been in her situation before, I know that sometimes these things just happen and even though it seems like you could have changed things, the reality is it was time for it to end for her. It's tremendously heartbreaking but there often isn't any set reason for why people's feelings change. Sometimes you just have to say goodbye and count all the good times and feel lucky you had those, despite the agony you are in.

You have a right to feel whatever you feel, be it angry or heartbroken or hurt, but please don't let hatred consume you. You guys had a lovely relationship and you will always be significant figures in eachother's history for the rest of your lives. Try and focus on that, and not bitterness. I promise you... it will hurt less soon. Hang in there. <3

[garnet]

This isn't really my business, but I do want to speak up for Nani here, since we've talked a little. From her perspective this was extremely abrupt. I think this felt like a sucker punch, just absolutely shocking and out of the blue. I think we've all seen their joy from the recent visit, plans were being made to close the distance... I think anyone would be blindsided by this.

This is not intended to slam Rebecca. But for Nani's sake, as well as everyone else that gets broken up with suddenly, it would surely be better if the partner spoke to them about it first? Let them in on it, let them see it coming? It seems like Nani might have an easier time if she had just had indications this was coming. And maybe they were there. I have no idea. But I don't think she felt they were.

The whole thing makes me so sad.

[London-FortCollins]

it would surely be better if the partner spoke to them about it first? Let them in on it, let them see it coming? It seems like Nani might have an easier time if she had just had indications this was coming. And maybe they were there. I have no idea. But I don't think she felt they were.

The whole thing makes me so sad.

As someone that has been in this situation recently...yes. It sucks to be blindsighted. Totally totally sucks and thats putting it a million times lighter than it feels.

The whole thing saddens me too

[garnet]

As someone that has been in this situation recently...yes. It sucks to be blindsighted. Totally totally sucks and thats putting it a million times lighter than it feels.

The whole thing saddens me too

Yeah. When it's the love of your life and you don't see it coming? That is so much harder for most people (and I believe Nani is one of those people). I have no idea what Natalie or anyone else would do it it were hinted at, maybe see if there was any chance of fixing things, or maybe she would just steady herself and try to prepare to have her heart broken, but no matter what I think with as deeply in love as Natalie was, and thought Rebecca was, not giving her any warning what so ever... just, I don't know, makes it that much more painful. To wake up happy and in love, and go to bed sobbing? The blink of an eye to have your whole future change, and you had NO IDEA? Thats a really tough pill to swallow.

I keep coming back to this thread just because I can hear the pain in Natalie's words. It almost seems like some people in this thread are brushing it off, saying like, be thankful for what you had, now move on. That is a lot easier said than done, and when you consider how serious they were, I think it's just about impossible for her to do that right now.

[Zephii]

I think that it's not our place to judge either of these girls, nor how their relationship ended. It is terribly sad, I don't think either of them relises the impact their beautiful love had on strangers all over the place, but we are just bystanders - we supported them both as a couple and I'm sure most of us are happy to support them as individuals also. The fact is: It's not easy to make the call that a relationship needs to end or is over for you. It's hard to break up with another person, especially when you don't actually want to hurt them. It's not our place to say "you should have done it differently" or "you shouldn't have done that at all". Sometimes in a break up there ISN'T a bad guy, coz this isn't hollywood, there are just two great people who aren't going to be together anymore.

That aside, regardless of the hurt and anger Natalie is feeling, she stil loves Rebecca - and no one needs to see the person they love put down, justified or not. We can easily make a thread about the proper way to break up with someone. I don't feel this is the place to do it.

I also don't feel that anyone is brushing off Natalie's pain. It's just when painful shocking things like this happen, none of us actually know what to say - but it's a forum - so saying SOMETHING is the only way we can express we care. We might not come out with the most original things, but we're here, and we care.

[CynicalQuixotic]

I think that it's not our place to judge either of these girls, nor how their relationship ended. It is terribly sad, I don't think either of them relises the impact their beautiful love had on strangers all over the place, but we are just bystanders - we supported them both as a couple and I'm sure most of us are happy to support them as individuals also. The fact is: It's not easy to make the call that a relationship needs to end or is over for you. It's hard to break up with another person, especially when you don't actually want to hurt them. It's not our place to say "you should have done it differently" or "you shouldn't have done that at all". Sometimes in a break up there ISN'T a bad guy, coz this isn't hollywood, there are just two great people who aren't going to be together anymore.

That aside, regardless of the hurt and anger Natalie is feeling, she stil loves Rebecca - and no one needs to see the person they love put down, justified or not. We can easily make a thread about the proper way to break up with someone. I don't feel this is the place to do it.

I also don't feel that anyone is brushing off Natalie's pain. It's just when painful shocking things like this happen, none of us actually know what to say - but it's a forum - so saying SOMETHING is the only way we can express we care. We might not come out with the most original things, but we're here, and we care.

So much this. I don't know Rebecca or Natalie, so I feel a little strange commenting on such a personal event, but the direction that this thread seems to be taking makes me quite uneasy. No matter who initiates it, break-ups suck, and what I am sure of is that both parties are in pain. Sometimes relationships end with nobody being at fault. It's unfair, but it happens.

I'm really, truly sorry for both of you. This break-up sounds a lot like mine with my ex and it was horrible, but both of you will get through it. Hugs all around.