After one year did anyone else find things lulling or getting harder?

[keypatalina]

Thank you so much @rubydissolution, I just feel so alone because everyone is telling me to end it or fight and I'm just at a loss. Literally, everything you said in your post is what is happening with us...working more, sleeping more, less sweet messages, less calls, and him saying he loves me but the decrease in those little things has me so upset. Glad to know know I'm not alone in this limbo

---------- Post added at 07:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 PM ----------

@floridaellen, that's why I'm considering a break to just work on ourselves and regroup don't want to break up though

[floridaellen]

Thank you so much @rubydissolution, I just feel so alone because everyone is telling me to end it or fight and I'm just at a loss. Literally, everything you said in your post is what is happening with us...working more, sleeping more, less sweet messages, less calls, and him saying he loves me but the decrease in those little things has me so upset. Glad to know know I'm not alone in this limbo

---------- Post added at 07:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 PM ----------

@floridaellen, that's why I'm considering a break to just work on ourselves and regroup don't want to break up though

If I could go back, I'd just stay with him and work through our issues. I went through a lot of pain when I was without him and we had to work really hard to trust each other again. That's just my opinion though.

[efish1042]

The years haven't really meant anything to us other than just celebrating our anniversary. What has been our problem is a.) school stress because we both agreed education comes first and b.) winter. I get really depressed in the winter time and whatever minor problems we may or may not have end up blowing up around this time. You just have to work through your issues. Talk to each other. Tell each other what is bothering you. Have discussions, not arguments. Its been almost 3 years and we are still working on communication. However, it has also been almost 3 years and I still get butterflies, he still makes me smile, the intimacy is still amazing, and I still love him more than anything. It is sooo worth all the strife. In fact, it tends to make us stronger in the end. It brings us closer together.

[sardonis]

If you love him don't take a break! You're upset BECAUSE of a growing distance, why are you going to help that out by enforcing more? You need to be upfront with your emotions and realize that is breaking up and if that is what you want, you should say so to your SO, because you've been together for a year! You owe it to your SO just as your SO does to you to be honest to one another. A break is code for lets not actually talk about breaking up, but simply grow to be a distant and mournful memory of better times as we forget about one another emotionally.

If you want to remain in a relationship, however tough it gets at times, pony up and talk to your SO about the needs you have to include attention and showing love. And don't forget, however much I don't mean to point the finger, you might be contributing somehow as well by not meeting a need that used to make your SO constantly pour love on you. Talk, ask, hell, hit up marriagebuilders.com and look up the HIs and her needs FAQ; you might see something there to provide insight into the downward trend.

I repeat, do not disconnect your relationship as a means to "reboot" it. You're bringing it to the executioner's block if you try that.

[keypatalina]

I think I'm going to take a break BECAUSE I love him and want the best for him, which is for him to figure out his career without my pressuring him...I'm also thinking about it because I love him and don't want to ever have bad feelings toward him by giving up my professional goals to be with him, instead of allowing both of us to build on our professional lives before returning to one another.

As for my contributing as well by not meeting a need that made him constantly pour love on me, that's simple: I'm not there with him. I'm there for him emotionally and am constantly trying to talk to him about his day or how he's feeling but physically and geographically, I'm not there because I can't be. And, after living with him this summer, not living with him and knowing that the distance is only going to increase when I graduate in May and take the Bar Exam is making it worse.

Disconnecting wouldn't be a means to reboot the relationship, but to give each other space until I complete the Bar and he finds a job. For us, it just seems like the only fair option since he doesn't want to hold me back and I don't want to pressure him into moving. I've never cared about another person's feelings or future as much as I do about his and if that means letting go so he can pursue his dreams, then so be it...sometimes true love means letting go of the person you love, even if that means you're not destined to be part of their future. I'm at peace with it now, wasn't before but I know it's the best for us because we love each other so much that we're willing to let the other go and if in the end we end up together, it's beautiful.

[Bethypoo]

we hit one year a few days ago.

And yea, I think in some ways it is easier (we know each other alot better and know what buttons to push or not push ect...). However, it has been harder because we are over being apart. That is getting frustrating and causing arguments (though it is over the situation not each other). But that causes TENSION!

You just have to work through it with any relationship. But like I say over and over and OVER on this site, LDRs require communication on a different level.

[kteire]

At one year it was actually a lot easier for my SO and I, since we had such a set rhythm and knew each other remarkably well. I think now that we've been together over a year and a half, and LD most of that time, it's harder. Our relationship has never been better, and we've never fought, but we have such an amazing time together that being apart is way harder than usual. I just want it to be June already so we can start the rest of our life together!