What do you tell them?

[Jazi]

I was reading another thread on Visa's and it made me wonder..

What do you tell immigration/customs the purpose of your visit is when you reach your SO's country?



I have never had the guts to say that I'm visiting my boyfriend, I feel like they will think I won't leave if I tell them that! So I just say I'm visiting "friends" or staying with "friends" and that my grandmother is English so I also have family in the UK to help me if I run into trouble.. I am extremely nervous going through immigration everytime though!

My SO also says that he's staying with a friend when he comes to Australia to visit me.

I'm a little worried if we visit "friends" too many more times they'll get suspicious

So what do you tell Immigration? Has anyone run into trouble by saying they're visiting their SO? or had troubles saying their visiting "friends"? how many times have you been to your SO's country/your experience with immigration each time?

i'm very curious to know!

[princessmeg1328]

I always tell the immigration people that I'm there to visit friends. I had never had problems before except for this last time I went to visit my SO. I was originally going to be there for about two months. The immigration lady told me that two months was too long to just be visiting friends. She asked me who I was staying with. I told her that I was staying with my SO (I just told her his name, not that he's my SO). She asked me if he was my boyfriend. I was honest and told her yes. She asked if we had plans to get married. I told her some day, but not yet. I was literally there for like 10 minutes answering all of her questions. She asked me if I had my current bank statement. Luckily, I had brought it. I had been there for four months to study abroad, but that was three years before this trip. I had been there twice before to visit him, but those trips were only about a week long. I had no problems getting in either of those times so I guess, it really doesn't matter what you say. It's the length of time that matters more.

[Madge]

I see my SO every 3/4 months and I stay for around 6-12 weeks at a time. I am honest and say that I am seeing my SO and I have had very little trouble which is great before each trip I would read horror stories of people getting denied and that would make me nervous especially coming to the US.

The only trouble I had was when my SO was in still living in the UK (in 2010) and I had arrived for a 3 month stay. The immigration lady asked me a lot of questions and just when I was getting really nervous she stamped my passport and let me (I think she could see the line was steadily getting bigger and decided to move on :P)

[DollOnAMusicBox]

When I went through customs in London, I remember the whole process was very intimidating but rather...coarse. I got up to the desk and the woman was like "purpose?" so I said "visiting my boyfriend" she asked what he does or where hes from and i said hes a resident and works in a lab she was like "kay go." and that was it.

I never once thought of saying or not saying whether I was in a rationship or whatever. Half the time I wonder if theyre listening to what youre saying or if theyre just listening for key words haha.

The thing is if you say "boyfriend" they have no ida of knowing HIS status unless they ask. Even with me saying he was a resident didnt make him a citizen there. Perfect example, my cousin (American) is living tere for the next 2 years as a resident. Long story short I wouldnt worry much.

[ChibiFelicia]

I visit my SO every 3 months for a month at a time and i always say im staying with my boyfriend - he's in the US and i've read so many stories regarding people being denied entry. I normally get asked : - "you visit very often, do you not work?", "How did you meet?" Are you planning on moving to the US?". I normally take my university letter (i just asked them to print me out a tax exemption form) but i've never been asked for it. Tell them how we met and say i am planning on moving to the US but not until i have finished nursing and am going to go via the CR1 route after getting married. I do get nervous though lol

This time round though i said i was visiting friends and i didnt get asked any other questions. Prob best to just say friend and if pressed for a more detailed answer, answer truthfully.

[Malaga]

I live in a country which isn't a member of EU, but is about to become next year. My boyfriend lives in the UK. I don't need a visa to visit him, but I can be denied access at the border if I seem suspicious.

I never had any particular problems so far, although I always expect them to stop me and nag. It's something I really worry about when I read stories about people being denied entry for the most random reasons.

I've always said I went to visit a friend. I don't know why, I kinda felt embarrassed saying I was going to see a boyfriend, like it's none of their business. But I plan to tell the full truth next time, last thing I want is to be caught in a lie, and such a pointless lie at that.

They'd usually ask me if I'm visiting for business or pleasure, I say I'm going to see a friend. Then they're like, O RLY. They ask what do they do, I say what he does and also that he's a UK citizen - something I learnt is important to say, then they don't ask much more about him. They ask me how long I'm staying and I tell them. That's usually it.

Last time the immigration officer was a bit more thorough, she actually counted the stamps in my passport and asked how come I was visiting so often - but it was only my third visit that year, I never stayed over 10 days? I started panicking but then I just said it's an easy trip to take since it's close and flights are cheap, that I liked visiting London and spending time with my friend. I assume she guessed it was my boyfriend and asked has he ever visited me, and I said that yes, he actually visited me a month ago, and it was also his third visit to my country that year.
Then she let me go.

I remember once when I was going to Ireland ages ago, I was held for quite awhile at the border. I was only 19 and quite intimidated. I was going to visit a friend who studied there, but the officers felt like they needed more details and they questioned me in details about the nature of my visit, even if I had a relationship back home and all the private details of my life - I suppose they needed to know how strong are my links to my home country. They even found the fact I spoke fluent English suspicious, as if I was a Russian spy or something. In the end they let me go, but I was really traumatised.

It's always the worst part of my trip, I always fear the worst, and I worry it's because I'm so worried that they'll find me suspicious.

[Haley53]

I have been honest in both my relationships about seeing my boyfriend.

The only time I really got pestered was when I said my ex was my friend. The thing is, we were broken up at the time but I had decided to say screw it and visit regardless. Why would I waste an expensive trip to London? And a weekend in Paris? She said, "is he your friend or your boyfriend?" Me being me and me also being very nervous decided to give her the whole story, LOL. She had to interrupt me to ask me another question or two and then ushered me forward. I think London was probably the only place I got bombarded with so many questions. In Dublin, the immigrations officer made a comment about why would I want an Irish boyfriend, looked at my passport, and then is all, "oh, you're from California. That explains it" and seriously gave me the most wicked smile. :P But I laughed along with him and he let me through. I have never had issues with immigration. Neither has my family. I hear a lot of horror stories but can't say I've ever been "lucky" enough to have my own!

[13000km]

I've entered the states only 3 times, the first two on visa waiver. The first time I stayed for 3 weeks and the second, 2 months. I feel like the most important thing to them is proof of return, so as long as I have a plane ticket back home they didn't question me too much. On my 2 month long visit, they did ask me what I did for a living, where I was staying and if I've been there before. My response: preschool teacher, friend's place and yes, once. That time I had my dad and brother with me and I warned them not to say anything, that I will do all the answering of questions because they tend to talk too much. /: I moved here on a student visa so that wasn't as nerve wrecking.

[kteire]

My usual interaction with Irish immigration goes as follows:
Them: Purpose of visit?
Me: Visiting my boyfriend
Them: Boyfriend, eh? (ok, they probably haven't said eh, but I'm Canadian haha) Are you planning to come live here on the sly??
Me: Nah, I'm dragging him back to the UK in a few months.
Them: Watch out for him, Irish lads are scoundrels! wink

I guess it really depends on the country and where you're from, but Irish immigration is always friendly and like a bit of banter with me

[lucybelle]

Whenever I enter any country no matter what the reason, at the border I always say "vacation". My SO does the same thing.

I've only ever had 2 problems at the border. One time I was deported, well more of denied entry (long story for another time). The other time was when I was going back into the USA after having been to numerous Central American and South American countries. The border guy was very curious as to why I wanted to travel to these places and what I had in my bag.

[garnet]

We always told the truth and it pisses me off when people dance around the truth when answering these questions. It makes it that much harder on everyone else if you're found out. And it makes immigration harder. It screws over everyone. It's not that hard to tell the truth, and have backup to prove your intent to return to your home country. I say this even though my SO was stopped at the border, missed his flight, and out visit was cut by 2/3. We still told the truth.
My rage is not directed at the OP. It's to all LDR folks who can't just simply do the right thing and be honest.
Also in this bubble of anger are people that buy a return ticket for a short length, and change the ticket for longer once they are in the country they wanted to visit their SO in.

We are just about to head back into the nightmare of immigration, to change a 2 year conditional green card (probably thanks to people who lied), to a ten year. It's just not cool to lie. Besides all that, the rules and questions are there for a reason. To keep us safe. Sure you aren't a threat, so what. They don't know that. Be honest.

[Rane]

I agree 100% with Garnet, so ditto to that, but also to add some perspective as to not telling the truth, when I was going to visit her for an extended trip, as she said, they ended up cutting the length short, but before that, they pulled me off into a separate room, and had two people question me, ask for phone numbers of people to call to verify my story, questioning me and calling close people I know for at least an hour, maybe longer. I ended up missing my flight, having to have the incoming flights changed, and later having to pay to change my return flight date.

So I'm just saying, if you do lie about why you're making the trip and get caught on it, IMO you'll likely get denied entry and make it more challenging if not impossible to even enter said country again. (And for the record, I didn't enjoy being interrogated in a closed white room by US officials. )

[Malaga]

That's quite self righteous of you. Can you please explain how people make it harder for everyone if they call their SO their friend instead? It's not like they're smuggling a bomb so stricter security measures will be imposed from now on. People lie all the time about all sorts of insignificant details, often without reason, and I'm sure immigration officers are aware of that and trained to recognise. Sometimes they let you through, sometimes they don't.
If people tell fibs and get caught in it, they'll be denied entry. It's their own risk they choose to take. But even if we all decide to tell the truth, it won't make immigration officers any less inquisitive.

[Zephii]

The first time I visited canada I said "Visiting friends" because "Meeting some guy off the internet" seemed like a stupid thing to say. I was visiting for 7 weeks. They asked me where my friends lived and let me go.
The second time I said I was attending a friend's wedding. They asked me those friend's names and I had to make their last names up on the spot because I didn't know! (They were Obi's friends, not mine really mine :P ).

One of those times (can't remember which) they asked me what I do for work, and I was unemployed, still in highschool. Then they asked me how I had the money to travel and I had to tell them that my sister and boyfriend had pitched in for my tickets. They never asked to see my bank statements though, thank god because I was piss poor haha.

The third time I went to Canada on a two year visa, and Obi was with me for the security check. The officer wasn't interested in asking questions at all, and sent me to the immigration office to get the visa stuck into my passport (WHP visa can be refused at the boarder, it's an online application with no prior interview). I was the first person the guy saw that day and he seemed to be in a good mood. He didn't check if I had any money (the part I feared) or ask too many questions. It was really easy.

[garnet]

Flame away, or whatever it is that was, but defending lying to customs just isn't right.

It makes it harder because people do get caught. And then they get nastier with the next person. They are freshly suspicious of whatever. It's so untrue that if everyone told the truth that there would be zero difference in border crossing.

I figured my post would piss off the people that don't see the need to tell the whole truth when facing this situation. I stand behind what I said.