Is your SO out of work?

[Leigh]

Are you working but your SO's not? How is it effecting your relationship?

[snow_girl]

My SO has a job but I don't. I moved to him 6 months ago and other then occasional babysitting I have not been able to find a job. It's frustrating and I feel bad knowing that he is paying for everything and I don't have much to contribute. Hopefully though in the next few months we will be moving to a bigger city with more job opportunities.

[floridaellen]

For a while in the beginning of our relationship I had a job and he didn't. It was very awkward since we were close distance and he felt bad. He still tried to find odd jobs and stuff to be able to pay for things, which was unnecessary but nice.

Then for a while he had a job and I didn't. That was awkward for me. I still paid for some things through Christmas money and savings since I don't have to pay bills yet and he does.

Now we both have jobs! So we've been through everything lol.

[Zapookie]

I used to work full time and saved up a bunch of monies, but had to quit due to medical issues brought on by my job. He didn't have a job at the time. Then he came and visited me and we 50/50'd everything until he ran out of money and I paid for everything after. I was perfectly OK with it, because I know he'd do the same for me, and I'm not going to hold that against him like he's in debt to me or anything. I know he felt bad about it though, but it was my decision, I offered because I wanted to.

Now he has a job, and I don't. His job isn't full time though, and we're hoping that they'll offering him a full time position as it was only meant to be over christmas. I helped him look for work as best I could.. craigslist mainly (its pretty dodgy but). But he needs the money so that he can come back here on a working holiday visa, so that we can be together again. It's quite frustrating being without money but the best we can do is persevere and know that the end result is what matters.

[anlgp]

Yes, I'm out of work and she has a job. I think it affects us a lot.

[lucybelle]

We've both been the one without a job. He moved internationally to close the distance with me on a tourist visa, so we both knew that he wouldn't be able to work for the time he was in the USA. So for the 6 months we were in the USA together, I covered most of the bills and the rent. It wasn't a big deal for me because the only bills that really went up were food and gas, and we almost always split those.

Now I'm in his country and he has the job. The deal was whether or not I find a job, after 6 months I would start paying half rent and bills, since that is the same amount of time I supported him. Well I found a job, right within the 6 month mark. So by the time we're splitting all bills we'll both be employed.

The part that sucks the most for me about not having a job is not having anything to do all day. Which is why my post count here has been so high for the past couple months

---------- Post added at 10:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:05 AM ----------

We've both been the one without a job. He moved internationally to close the distance with me on a tourist visa, so we both knew that he wouldn't be able to work for the time he was in the USA. So for the 6 months we were in the USA together, I covered most of the bills and the rent. It wasn't a big deal for me because the only bills that really went up were food and gas, and we almost always split those.

Now I'm in his country and he has the job. The deal was whether or not I find a job, after 6 months I would start paying half rent and bills, since that is the same amount of time I supported him. Well I found a job, right within the 6 month mark. So by the time we're splitting all bills we'll both be employed.

The part that sucks the most for me about not having a job is not having anything to do all day. Which is why my post count here has been so high for the past couple months

[squirrelz15]

I'm very lucky and always have had a job. That said, my ex didn't have a job for most of the time we were dating. It didn't affect us too much because his grandma always gave him money to do stuff, but it bothered me in that I tended to see him as lazy when he refused to do things around the house or get out of bed till 2 in the afternoon. I felt it was unfair that I worked, drove him everywhere (he didn't drive), and had to make food and clean and all that. My current SO is in school, so he isn't working, but he'll work when he comes home on breaks and such (Which is good and bad, good cuz he needs the money, bad because it cuts into time for us.) I still completely respect him though because he is in school and he works very hard while he is there. I think it depends on each couples situation.

[Haley53]

I feel it effects our relationship only in the sense my partner is hypersensitive to guilt.

I remember when I was over, he ended up losing 50e, and that wasn't necessarily an amount he had coming at him left and right. We had gone to McDonalds to eat before our train left and I offered to get him something and ended up having to insist on it because he didn't want me to have to pay when losing that money was his responsibility; he also didn't want to be seen like my ex, who was some lazy SOB whose grandmother deposited heinous amounts of money into his account regularly yet he still took complete advantage of mine and my family's generosity. I am also paying for his plane fare here and I will be covering a lot of what we do. It took a bit to convince him over based on that because he felt guilty, didn't want me to have to pay for everything simply because he's currently out of work. However, I have a well paying job, he's in an extreme circumstance, and I know if ever the roles were reversed, he would do the same for me. Personally, I'm fine and even content with this arrangement. I've always preferred to pay for people as opposed to having them pay for me or even going 50/50. :P

[Bethypoo]

My SO made some bad decisions when it came to employment. He had a steady job (though it was only minimum wage but it was still a job). He took an under-the-table job during spring and summer last year and pretty much forgot bout his old job knowing that his old boss was going to hire him back when the under the table job was done. Well, about 2 months before that job ended he didnt contact his former boss and therefore they ran out of time and had to hire someone else. He was then left jobless and me saying "i told you so." He just got a new job and is in the process of joining the navy (which i have mixed emotions about)

It effected us because I was tired of him being lazy and not attempting to find new jobs or to save money. It drove me nuts that he had no drive. I am a full time student at University and I will be graduating in March leaving me to be swimming in a sea of unknown. I couldnt stand to have us both do that. So i told him that if he didnt have a job or something going by march, that i was done. And about a month of searching he found a job and like i said got the ball rolling on the navy thing. But it was very hostile for a while.

[mllebamako]

For our first 1.5 years together, he wasn't working. It was definitely something we both had to get used to, me paying for everything and him accepting that.
Now, he has a job but makes a lot less than I do. So we still have similar issues. Money has been one of our biggest struggles and still something that we are constantly working on.

[13000km]

I moved here 7 months ago, and I haven't been able to find a job yet. My visa has limited me to on-campus jobs and there aren't that many of those. /: I was working full time prior to moving here and had a pretty large amount of savings. The boyfriend has been paying for things like food and gas, but I pay my own rent and bills. He's constantly stressed out about me running out of savings and him not working enough. This month, I'm the one who gets to deal with the finances because it was all getting too much for him. I've had to make some big adjustments to my lifestyle. It's frustrating, and a little bit scary, but I have confidence that we have enough savings to keep our heads out of the water until I can find a part time job.

[kiara_silver]

Right now its me who doesn't have a job, and at the moment so close to when im leaving for a few month, i sorta put the job hunting on hold. It makes me feel extremely guilty that he's the one paying for everything, and my family has been reminding me a lot about how im depending on him for everything. Its hard, and I think it does effect our relationship. But im hoping things will turn around after this visit. And we can be more equal in this instead of him doing everything.

[squeeker]

Right now I'm working and he's not, but he's making major moves towards starting a business so things are looking up. I've never felt bad about helping him out but he really feels guilty if I ever help him with things, he feels the man should be the provider and that's part of what motivates him to start his own business. But in the mean time it kind of sucks because I only have a minimum wage job which is kind of stressful so he'd like to see me out of that one as soon as he can but in the mean time the pressure to save up is really on my shoulders. lol but it's okay because I love him he's worth it. We try not to let money issues get us stressed though.

[Engel]

He has a job. I donīt.

I am still not allowed by german laws to work. this will change after we get married, not sure how long after, though

[efish1042]

He worked when we started going out and were CD, but it wasn't a big deal. Now neither of us works as we are focusing on school and have supportive families. He has a fund and saved up spending cash, but I'm broke so I feel bad when we go out and do things and he has to pay or when I want to get something for him and I have to go ask for cash... it doesn't really affect our relationship, but we feel guilty sometimes. He's tried finding a job, but with the economy the way it is, it's hard.