How long is too long before closing the distance?

[13000km]

I agree that you have to sit down and talk to your SO and come to an agreement. Some couples are great at LD and decide they can wait a few more years to be done with whatever they are doing at that moment before closing the distance while others jump right into it. For us, we closed the distance after 1.5 years. We could not afford regular visits (the plane ticket itself costs over $1500!), and were at a point in our lives where it was a good time to make a transition. We had both made the decision to get our bachelors before moving on, and took the leap despite only having one visit prior.

If you do a search I recall there was a thread sometime back with a poll on how long it took for the alumni to close the distance or something like that. Maybe that will help you judge what is the average length of time couples spend LD.

[squeeker]

I agree with those who said it totally depends on the couple and where you are in your relationship and how much you believe in your relationship and whether or not you can see a future with your SO. I agree it definitely helps a lot when you agree with your partner about an end date, even if it's not a concrete date, having an agreement that you both want to end up together in a certain amount of time is key.

With my boyfriend, I know both he and I are on the same page about being together in the future, though it's dependent on a few things working out, so as all things in life goes, you and your partner really should have a plan BUT be open to changes because things can always come up to set the date back or even enable you to close the distance sooner! I know that no matter how hard it would be, I'm sticking with this relationship, no matter how long we are long distance, as long as we have a goal in mind and keep getting closer, I can do it. Though sooner rather than later would be amazing because I hate having to depend on technology and the internet to speak to him.. We currently have plans that we would ideally like to make more concrete plans to close the distance within the next year. Though there are no concrete plans yet. Oh and we've been officially together now for a little over a year and four months. (all of which has been long distance, with 1 2-week visit, 1 4-week visit, and a 3-4 month visit is planned this summer) We are international, so it also pretty much forces us to be international for longer amounts of times since neither of us are millionaires or anything.. lol

I think this is a conversation personal to each couple and each couple has to talk about it for themselves... it depends on personal circumstances and thoughts about where you see yourself in the future.. and whether you yourself will be able to handle it...

[Alisha]

Wow, thanks for all the responses, guys! You're all right -- it's obviously ultimately mine and my SO's choice (which we have said before is about a year or 2.. the difficult thing is I don't really know if that's actually concrete).
I was just feeling down about it -- as many said, it's hard when there's not an end date sight... the feeling comes and goes -- you guys know, too, what that's like.
I'll check out that other post that was suggested.
I guess it's just nice to know that I'm not alone here, even though I know I'm not regardless. Just hard when there's so many people around me (where I live) putting me down for it. I guess I mainly just posted this to learn about others' relationships.
Thanks again

[Sora1101]

We'll be closing the distance a couple months before our 3 year anniversary but that's just us. Only you can decide how long you're willing to wait for your SO, it could be 3 years it could be 10, it's all about what you want out of your relationship and out of life.

[Rugger]

My relationship has no closing the distance date right now. We've been LDR for a year and a half and together for two. It's just a matter of where we get jobs.

I agree with everyone who said it's different for every couple, because it is. Every person has their limits, as lucybell stated. Only you can answer that.

[lucybelle]

Here's the thread 13000km was talking about.