Sleeping in separate beds

[snow_girl]

While responding to Eclaire's thread about me time, I mentioned something about how it would be nice to sleep in a separate bed from my SO. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping beside him but he hogs the blankets, his alarm wakes me up and while he can hit snooze and drift off for another 9 minutes I'm left there laying in wait for 2 or more hits of the snooze button. While we do cuddle it is only for about 15 minutes before he has to sleep facing the outside and turns over to sleep. I'm not at the point where I'd actually suggest this to him as I do like waking up beside him, but since being back home and sleeping in my own bed, it has been very nice.

I didn't think much more about it after posting but while browsing digg there was a link to an article about the subject. So I thought I'd ask all of you what you think about sleeping in separate beds. With most here still being long distance I'm sure none of you are thinking about not sharing a bed when you go to visit but what about when you settle down or get married, would you ever consider this?

https://digg.com/newsbar/topnews/lag..._separate_beds

https://www.divinecaroline.com/22074...eparate-beds/3

[Rugger]

If the other person is waking you up, I would say go for it. Not getting sleep is a health risk, and could effect other areas of your relationship. My SO's roommate snores like a chainsaw. The handful of night I have spent with him in the same room, I have wanted to snuff him with a pillow. If my SO snored like that, I would def think about sleeping separately.

Luckily, my SO doesn't snore and he has a big enough bed that we don't really thrash and wake each other. However, I have a bad issues with being a blanket hog, so we have to get separate blankets so he doesn't freeze.

[London-FortCollins]

Reminds me of the episode of HIMYM where Marshall and Lily get separate beds

Personally I couldn't imagine now sleeping in the same bed as my partner. For me its a big part of intimacy. I think the trick is to have a big enough bed, a variety of pillows and a duvet and a blanket so you can each sleep in your own way, but know you can reach out and the other person is right there.

Also maybe having a decent spare room or sofa so if there is a night where one of you just needs a decent nights sleep they can go in there. (Or kick the other person in there) But that would be an exception rather than the rule.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I don't think it'd be a problem sleeping in the same bed as my SO every night. I absolutely love sleeping next to him and just waking up with him right next to me is the best feeling ever. He generally sleeps with one blanket, so I can hog all the covers I want, which is good because I get cold when I sleep. The only thing is my SO is always moving around when he sleeps. He always changes positions so many times in the middle of the night, but I usually don't wake up. We decided we want to try and buy a Tempur-pedic mattress (if we can afford it) when we do live together because then he can move around all he wants and be sure not to wake me up. Plus, they're extra comfortable lol. If there's room in a house, I do think that a guest room is a good idea in case you just can't get sleep one night because of your partner's disruptions. But, I'd say if it's a snoring thing or something that'll affect your quality of sleep, definitely two separate beds is the better idea.

[Haley53]

Both my partner and I love sleeping with one another. It's insanely comforting to be within reach of one another, to hear one another's breathing, and who doesn't love the added warmth? :P

I will admit that I probably prefer a larger bed to a smaller one. He had a bed that was likely only 4' across, and we often had to contort into odd positions or sleep on our sides simply to be able to share it without being on top of one another. We stayed one night in a hotel where we had a queen size bed, and though we each originally started out sleeping on separate ends sprawled out like starfish, my partner ended up rolling over and pulling me in closer for cuddles. It was nice to have a bed where we could have space if we wanted, but we could also cuddle with each other.

That being said, neither of us have particularly clashing sleep styles. I'm an extremely light sleeper, and he's not. He hardly moves through the night so there's not much movement to wake me. :P And he tends to do a lot in little waking states. For example, if I jerk awake due to a dream, he'll usually pull me closer/hold me tighter or kiss my head and fall immediately back to sleep and won't remember it the next morning. So we're still able to get a restful night sleep when we have the space.

[digitalfever]

My aunt and uncle do this and it works for them. They both do shift work since my aunt is a nurse and my uncle is also in the medical field they both have wonky hours and are always getting up at weird times or coming in the house at super awkward hours.

[goalie_girl34]

I could never give up sleeping in the same bed as my SO. Its the first thing I missed after I left. I love the warmth, the intimacy, listening to him breath, and the way he always wants his arms around me. On the last day of my trip I woke up early to pack and slipped out of his arms. He laid there whimpering in his sleep and grasping for me. Although he says I'm a blanket hog as I usually end up with the blanket at the end of the night. And we both like to sleep with one heavy blanket, which is funny. I'm pretty sure we were made for each other.

[London-FortCollins]

Reminds me of the episode of HIMYM where Marshall and Lily get separate beds

Personally I couldn't imagine now sleeping in the same bed as my partner. For me its a big part of intimacy. I think the trick is to have a big enough bed, a variety of pillows and a duvet and a blanket so you can each sleep in your own way, but know you can reach out and the other person is right there.

Also maybe having a decent spare room or sofa so if there is a night where one of you just needs a decent nights sleep they can go in there. (Or kick the other person in there) But that would be an exception rather than the rule.

[Engel]

Reminds me of the episode of HIMYM where Marshall and Lily get separate beds

Personally I couldn't imagine now sleeping in the same bed as my partner. For me its a big part of intimacy. I think the trick is to have a big enough bed, a variety of pillows and a duvet and a blanket so you can each sleep in your own way, but know you can reach out and the other person is right there.

Also maybe having a decent spare room or sofa so if there is a night where one of you just needs a decent nights sleep they can go in there. (Or kick the other person in there) But that would be an exception rather than the rule.

all that! lol

and made me thin of HIMYM as well! XD

[Zephii]

It's becoming really common, and that's cool
Some people even do seperate beds in the same room... but most of us don't have that much space

It's not for me though I feel like it would crimp intimacy quite a bit. For us, we just put extra blankets on my side of the bed and call it even. I like a smaller bed, he might dream of having a Massive King somewhere down the line, but it's never going to happen for him I also have no problem waking him to tell him to move over or hug me because I'm cold.
I want someone there to keep me warm, deal with my nightmares, and whisper that they love me when they change positions during the night.
We actually have an agreement that he goes to bed when I do, regardless of how stupidly early that is, because there was a point where I couldn't sleep alone. I can now, I did it last night in fact, but if there's a choice, we're together.

[Sierra]

My aunt and uncle do this because he's such a snorer and it works for them, but it's not for me. I've battled insomnia because of my PTSD for a very long time and when I sleep with my boyfriend I can actually sleep. I don't want to give that up, plus nothing beats falling asleep in his arms and waking up next to him in the morning. I love those good morning cuddle sessions.

[lucybelle]

My mom hardly ever sleeps in the same bed with her husband. In fact she's usually in a different ROOM. He snores so loud that she can't sleep. So she just gets up and moves.

I love sleeping with my SO. He doesn't snore, which is great. But he does talk in his sleep and usually hits me in the face or grabs me or something. He also shakes the bed a whole lot, to the point where I have to think "is there an earthquake? or is it just sleepy SO?" But it's something I've gotten used to and actually is endearing to me. I love telling him the morning after that he put his arm on my head and when I tried to move it he told me "no". Of course he remembers nothing the next day We also have a queen sized bed, not just a double. I couldn't sleep in a double with him for too long, not with all the moving he does. When we got our new bed here, he was telling me how great it was. And I said "yeah! Look I can sleep and I don't even have to touch you!" jaja

[Trethsparr]

I'm a thrasher, and I have a really difficult time falling asleep when I'm touching him -- it's a quirk. I love sharing a bed with my husband, but I don't mind when circumstances have us sleep in different beds (like when we're at his parents' home, since they only have twins for guests). I hope we'll have a chance to upgrade to a King someday when we have a bigger place, as I think that would be ideal for us.

[Michelle]

It's not for me though I feel like it would crimp intimacy quite a bit. For us, we just put extra blankets on my side of the bed and call it even. I like a smaller bed, he might dream of having a Massive King somewhere down the line, but it's never going to happen for him I also have no problem waking him to tell him to move over or hug me because I'm cold.
I want someone there to keep me warm, deal with my nightmares, and whisper that they love me when they change positions during the night.

I am the same exact way. Frank and I just have a full size bed which is enough for me. I wake Frank up all the time to pull the covers back in my direction and to get him to spoon with me. Oh, and to make him get on his side if he starts snoring

I can't imagine sleeping separately from him in the same room. Having a bed buddy is just too nice

[Sora1101]

I don't think I'd be able to sleep without him in the bed with me, I sleep so much better when he's here than when he's not, he snores sometimes but it's a comforting sound to me. I'm also used to sleeping in a twin sized bed so when we do get to sleep together on a king sized bed I have no problem with space, he even pulls me closer onto his "side of the bed" because he doesn't like when we sleep even that little bit apart. I think that if it helps some people there's no problem with it, to each his own I guess.