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Those of you who aren't of age yet: titles?

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    Those of you who aren't of age yet: titles?

    Okay, so we're in love, and everything but he doesn't want to make ie official until I'm 18 and totally legal. I understand this completely. My mom.. yeah, it's a good thing.
    Anyway.
    We tell each other we love one another and all of this, but I can't call him my boyfriend since we're not official. He doesn't call me his girlfriend, so... I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, does anyone else have this problem? I mean, on here it's easy, you just call him your SO, cuz that's what he is. But when I'm trying to talk to my friends about him, and they ask if we're dating, how do I respond without making it seem like our relationship is fake, or unrealistic?

    #2
    You can always just say that he's a good friend you met online. That's what I used to say. People don't really need to know much more than that.

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      #3
      I really don't know.
      when I met my SO (we are 3 years together now, and will get married in 11 days), was online. we talked, got friendly, flirted. but I wasn't in love with him, and we didn't consider each other anything. I told my close friends about this hot russian/german guy I was talking to, and how I would like to kiss him, and date him for the two months i would be in europe visiting my family. that he would be a really nice distraction for that time!
      of course it wasn't just that in the end. we fell in love, and decided to give a relationship a go, even long distance.
      but before i met him in person... I was dating! even while flirting with him, i was dating another guy, he wasn't my boyfriend, i wasn't in love with him, but i really liked him, liked to spend time with him. but before we were one month together, his ex girlfriend found out she was pregnant of him, from the one time they didn't use condons, nd she kept the baby. no way i was going to go through that, so me and him became friends only. nowadays we lost all contact, but I'm sure we would be friendly if we saw each other in person, and would have a laugh. after that guy, i kissed another man, a couple of days before going to europe. i liked not being in a relationship.
      and I thought my SO would be just another distraction for some time. but he wasn't. he isn't. he is the one i will spend my life with.

      we dated for one month in person before me made it official, even though we were in love and said i love you in less than one week dating in person. a real record for me! as i had only ever told one boy (the one i had my first kiss with, many years ago) that i loved him.

      what i mean by all this rambling is every relationship is different. i didn't stress over a title because i wasn't looking for a boyfriend, and would never consider someone i never saw as my boyfriend, but i had fun talking with him. and look, we will get married now!

      so, however long it takes, or however it happens, i believe in destiny. if it is meant to be, it will be.
      ps: sorry, my post may sound a little confusing, i just woke up.
      our story.

      sigpic

      02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

      "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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        #4
        Just because you're not of age yet doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship, you just have to keep it G rated. To everyone but to our families he is my boyfriend and I am his girlfriend, who cares what others think? As long as you aren't breaking the law it doesn't matter what you call each other, if you want to talk to your friends about it call him your SO, problem solved, that is what he is and just because you aren't officially in a relationship doesn't mean it isn't real.

        Notes:
        Met: 8.17.09
        Started Dating: 8.20.09
        First Met: 10.2.10
        Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Sora1101 View Post
          Just because you're not of age yet doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship, you just have to keep it G rated. To everyone but to our families he is my boyfriend and I am his girlfriend, who cares what others think? As long as you aren't breaking the law it doesn't matter what you call each other, if you want to talk to your friends about it call him your SO, problem solved, that is what he is and just because you aren't officially in a relationship doesn't mean it isn't real.
          That's what I was thinking.
          Titles are not that important for me, my boyfriend and I were dating/seeing each other for a bit over a month before we 'officially' became boyfriend and girlfriend. We count that time as our relationship now, because that's essentially what it was, but we weren't official right away. I would want to make it official after some time, though. I'm not willing to invest (time, feelings, effort) in something that's not a relationship.
          I don't know how long you two have been talking or anything, so I don't know about that. But I agree with Sora that just because you're underage doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship? Am I missing something here?

          Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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            #6
            Being in a relationship isn't illegal. Having sex in that relationship is. That being said, you're 15, yes? And you're also located in Kansas? Where is your SO located? Being in Kansas, the age of consent is 16, and I don't see that there are any limitations on it; for example, some say until 18, you have to be within two years of the minor that's of the age of consent, but I don't see anything of the sort in any Kansas-type laws. Therefore in Kansas, you're legal at 16, not 18. These laws involve sexual activity, mind, not relationships; there would be nothing wrong with being in a relationship currently.
            { Our Story on LFAD }


            Our Beginning
            Met online: February 2009
            Feelings confessed: December 2010
            Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
            Officially together since: 08 April 2011

            Our Story
            First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
            Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
            Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
            Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

            Our Happily Ever After
            to be continued...

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              #7
              Originally posted by Dziubka View Post
              That's what I was thinking.
              Titles are not that important for me, my boyfriend and I were dating/seeing each other for a bit over a month before we 'officially' became boyfriend and girlfriend. We count that time as our relationship now, because that's essentially what it was, but we weren't official right away. I would want to make it official after some time, though. I'm not willing to invest (time, feelings, effort) in something that's not a relationship.
              I don't know how long you two have been talking or anything, so I don't know about that. But I agree with Sora that just because you're underage doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship? Am I missing something here?
              No, you're not missing anything.. It's just hard to describe how our relationship works.

              ---------- Post added at 11:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:40 PM ----------

              Originally posted by Eclaire View Post
              Being in a relationship isn't illegal. Having sex in that relationship is. That being said, you're 15, yes? And you're also located in Kansas? Where is your SO located? Being in Kansas, the age of consent is 16, and I don't see that there are any limitations on it; for example, some say until 18, you have to be within two years of the minor that's of the age of consent, but I don't see anything of the sort in any Kansas-type laws. Therefore in Kansas, you're legal at 16, not 18. These laws involve sexual activity, mind, not relationships; there would be nothing wrong with being in a relationship currently.
              Yes, I'm fifteen adn in Kansas. I'm turning 16 this year! Hahaha. Anyways, thank you for that. God-willing, he'll be in boot camp for my sweet sixteenth. No, it's not that I don't want him there, the corp is giving him problems.. It's complicated. ANYWAY. We're not having sex. >.< Haha. Luckily, I'm still in the state of mind that sex is kinda scary... Bahahaha. I cannot believe I just said that, on a forum. Okay, I'm going now... Lmfao.

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                #8
                When your friends ask you could just say "I don't know, we're really close." It doesn't really matter what you call it

                When my SO and I started dating (even though I was convinced we weren't at the time) we decided to just call it an LDR because I hated the idea of calling someone I hadn't met yet my boyfriend. Are you waiting until you turn 16 or 18? Because if it's the latter, then that's a loooong wait...

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