Talking about your relationship with others

[AEAS]

I play down my relationship a bit too much, actually, to my friends and family. Pretty much, only one of my friends knows i'm really serious about my SO. My mom just thinks it's some sort of phase I've been going through... for over 2 years... And my best friend thinks its somewhat of a joke. I have no secrets or anything, i'm just not one to parade unrelated information around. With my SO however, we're so goofy and insanely lovey-dovey it's ridiculous.

[Dziubka]

I guess I'm a bit of both.

Even though I daydream about our future all the time and I hope we'll stay happily together for ever (or for a very very long time anyway) I don't like to say things like "When we'll be living together..." or even "We'll never break up". I tell them about all the wonderful things he does for me and I show my friends all the cute things I do for him, but I'm not so comfortable with sharing my enthusiasm about our future together.
The longer we are together and the more confident I get about our relationship, the easier it gets though. I personally do think it's sort of -hmm- odd (for a lack of a better word) if people talk about their huge love and happy future with someone they've only known for a month or even less. Maybe because I can't really take that seriously, I tend to think that people who have been together a lot longer than my boyfriend and I, might think the same way about us. I know I shouldn't care (just like I think other people shouldn't care that I don't take them seriously), but I can't help it.

People probably have more important things to worry about, but I sort of feel that, when someone says that and their relationship ends up not working out, they get judged for being naive. I'd never ever say that I'm sure my boyfriend will never cheat, either. Maybe I also think it's sort of a bad omen? Tempting fate in a way.

[efish1042]

I guess I down play things a bit to others. I generally keep things between us. I don't have a whole lot of understanding ears around and since we are both so young, a lot of people automatically jump to the conclusion that we aren't going to last. I get really tired of the *eyeroll* reaction. I understand why people feel that way, and I feel that way about lots of relationships in my age group, but I feel cliche trying to explain that we're different, so I just don't really talk about it.

[rubydissolution]

A lot of people know about my relationship, especially at both of my works. The reason for that is because people want to know where i'm going on vacation and then why, or who i'm going to see. I'm not going to lie, I flat out say to see my boyfriend. I don't typically say more then that except to say i had a really good time when I got back. A few of my co-workers I'm closer with will ask me details, want stories which I don't mind sharing at all.

When it comes to us having problems, there are a handful of people I'll ask for advice. Mostly because these particular people are mostly neutral and will tell me if i'm being stupid or if he's being unreasonable. I take in what they offer, but at the end of the day the choice is mine to make. There are people I'll vent to, but who's opinion of the situation mean nothing to me. I think venting is healthy. Sadly I do not confide in my best friend because of how judgemental she is about my relationship. She just offers you should break up with him...that's not helpful. I'm not as shy about this relationship as I have been in previous ones. I'm kinda proud to be Wes' girlfriend whether its LD or not.

[squeeker]

I do the same thing a lot and downplay my relationship a lot too. I think I get scared to say too much because I don't want others to feel awkward or whatever, I know I definitely care too much what other people think. But as our relationship has progressed, I've grown more open about talking about Chris and Chris and I to other people, but I still haven't really outwardly told anyone how I really feel. I think I'm too scared of judgement of what other people say. Though I think they can guess a little bit.. why else would I still be in the relationship, talk to him on webcam for a few hours every day, and save up money to go visit him? lol

[Zapookie]

I tell only my close friends about him or any issues I had with him (all of my friends met him when he was here), just because I felt like I needed to get some stuff off my chest and they were always there to listen. But I never really got too personal.

I'd like to think that we'll work out, and I tell my friends that we're going to move in together and stuff. I guess I'm an open person when it comes to these things. Of course there are things I don't tell them, but I do divulge the general plans that we have. My mother thinks that this is my first love and I'll get over it. She doesn't understand the seriousness of it or I think she's in denial because she's not exactly fond of him.

[Bethypoo]

I think that it is normal. In some ways, I think when we know we are with "the one" we freak out a little bit and tend to blow off such questions.

[blankita719]

I talk about my wanting to spend the rest of my life with him quite a bit. However, problems in our relationship are limited to pretty much on here or with a few LDR friends on Facebook. I do like the bit of anonymity of posting about our issues and asking for others who are in the same boat's opinions. I don't need people who've never done this to weigh in on how I should handle things. I understand they want to help but when you're talking to friends and family who don't want you to leave them in order to close the distance, you're probably not going to get the most objective opinions.

I talked a lot with my mom about my ex - which was a huge mistake. I've learned from that so I don't share.

[meganrey]

I find it very difficult as well. I come from a very conservative southern family who believes that online dating and whatnot results in murderers and everyone lying about who they 'really are'. lol While I understand where they are coming from...I also know that what they believe are the exceptions and not the rules themselves.

I've told my mother, who is like a best friend, about my SO only because she's so open minded and found the love of her life online (though they were never LDR). However, I've said nothing to my friends or anyone else in my family, not that I'm ashamed about how I met him - not at all - only because I know what their reactions will be and I don't want to hear all their negative comments and lectures about me possibly talking to a serial killer. lol

The way I see it - they'll find out eventually somehow and I'm sure by that time, I wont care too much what they have to say. But right now, our relationship is so new that I want everything to be mushy, gushy and happy. LOL

[Kristin91]

I do this with people that I don't know so well... When my relationship gets brought up and people ask "Are you going to get married?" I usually say "We'll see" when really the thought of marrying him someday makes me so excited! Like today, with one of my close friends, we were talking about marriage and engagements and I made a comment like "Newton isn't going to see me in my wedding dress until our wedding" before I realized what I was saying. But it doesn't matter so much with her, because I can honestly tell her about my relationship... So I guess it depends on how well I know the person. But with my mom, if I make comments about a distant future with Newt, she'll just roll her eyes or kind of give me a look like "you're so naive to think this hs/college romance can last". It sort of annoys me because it feels like she's a lot more supportive of my sister's relationship (they've been going out about a year longer than my SO and I), when I think my SO and I are more serious than they are!

[usmcgirl]

I flat out can't talk about it with my family - they think we're no longer talking. I only talk about it with my 2 IRL bestfriends, and on here of course.

[Zandria]

I want to burst out to the world that I found my match, I want to scream it on top of a mountain, to the high heavens, run around like a banshee; but, I feel like I can't. I never been any happier, and sure in the past I might have thought I was, but being in this relationship makes me think otherwise. I have difficulty speaking about him to others, because I don't want to come off bragging or talking about him too much, like a crazily obsessed girl who has major issues, lol (been there, done that). I feel guilty of expressing my happiness, which I know is horrible, but I do, so I keep it all to myself. And yes, it eats away at me, but it's a tough place to balance friendship and a relationship. But, it's all a work in progress, I haven't opened up as much as I want to about my bf, but once I feel comfortable again, I know I will.

My little spin of insight, haha, hope that helped!

Zandria <3

[lala]

I am so thankful that I found this forum. you people know how it feels to be in a LDR..what we have to go through, with which problems we have to deal and so on.. it's like this forum is my best friend at the moment
I also talk to my friends but they just ask if we still have contact and what's going on.. but no deeper questions. I am alo afraid to reword what I really feel,what I'm afraid of and what I wish to happen,because I don't want to be hurt.I guess that's just normal...

[HisCutie]

I used to try to talk about my LDR, but then it just seems as if I get annoyed because nobody understands and always has comments (usually very negative). Why bother, ya know?

[lademoiselle]

I don't feel that I have any female friends in the offline world with whom I'm close enough to discuss my relationship I suppose that's why I talk to my mum about it a fair amount, albeit quite matter-of-factly. The more emotional stuff I confide in you guys, because you aren't in the least bit judgmental and can very well understand what I'm going through. And my deepest thoughts and feelings are naturally reserved for my SO