is it time for a break?

[danras2011]

not a break-up, just a break from each other for a little bit. my SO and I have talked every day for a year, literally every single day, and each day we talk gets better and better. but recently, even though we're both online, we don't talk as much. i know we both have our own lives, but that didn't stop us before. maybe a short break will freshen us up? the only reason I'm asking is because I'm unsure; on the one hand I think this is a good idea, ya know since "absence makes the heart grow fonder," but I can't imagine not talking to her for a week or whatever given that we've talked every day for a year. I'm just in a confused state at the moment and any suggestions would help me make a decision. thank you

[snow_girl]

I don't think it sounds like you really need a break. Breaks are generally for when you need space and are unhappy. Why no try setting a time to talk to each other only 2 or 3 times a week. Then you can jot down things that happen in between talk times and you'll have more things to talk about. I think it is common to run out of things to talk about, at the beginning of a relationship both of you are a blank slate and there is so much to ask and know to fill those slates with who they are, but as you know the person longer those slates are nearly filled and I find the conversations turn more to things that happen day to day.

[folclor]

u.u a break isn't a good idea. If you're talking about a break from your relationship, I mean. it'll cause resentment from one or both of y'all down the line.

As far as communication goes, though, a little space isn't bad. Instead of talking every day set up one night when you'll most definitely talk and the rest of the week if one of you feels like talking then be available to do so, but don't make it the center of your morning/afternoon/evening/night.

[carolynred]

I agree with the others that a break is not needed. Sometimes you just run out of things to talk about. I mean, when you talk everyday for a year, you can only think of only so many new things to say right? A break would be needed if you were unhappy with being with him, but you sound happy to be with him so no need for a break. There is a list of things to talk about somewhere on this site, try that maybe if you feel like it. Otherwise, just give it some time, I bet things will soon pick up again.

[Haley53]

I don't feel a break is necessary for this reason. With the exception of a short lapse, my SO and I have talked daily for hours for around three years now (we met in February of 2009). Sometimes the conversation lags, but that's normal, and sometimes we don't simply converse; sometimes we play games with one another, or watch a show together. Sometimes we let silence span out for a bit. Not everything we talk about is exciting and new, and not everything is about what we did that day; some of it's about what we're doing or a show I'm watching, a game he's playing, or a particular forum post that sparks something in my head.

In addition to what the others have said, I believe there's also a book that offers 100 questions or 100 conversational topics (something like that) to help a lagging conversation, so you might consider investing in that too. :P

[fingirl]

It sounds like you guys are just having a lull in conversation because you spend a lot of time just talking to each other so there isn't a whole lot else going on in your day to talk about. I think Michelle and Frank had a good idea with the book of questions https://www.lovingfromadistance.com/1000questions.html or you could try picking up a hobby and devoting time to doing that so you have time to do what you want and then you can come back and talk to your SO about it. Hope this helps

[danras2011]

thanks for the comments guys. i know why there was a lull in our conversations, deeper meaning and all that. so i gotta figure out that and i think we'll be alright

[Bethypoo]

You need to talk about how you feel and figure out what the two of you want and what works best for the both of you.

I personally don't believe in breaks. Like others said, usually it is when you are unhappy. But if you are unhappy you need to talk about it and discuss what you need from eachother.