So, I haven't been around here much lately and it's because I've finally gotten a new job!
A job that since my SO is Iraq, leaves us very little talking time. He gets on the computer around 2-5pm my time and around 1:30 AM my time as well. My job as me working almost everyday 10-7. which means I can rarely stay up that late to talk and I am never home on work days when he is on. Usually we write e-mails but he hasn't written back in a week. We catch each other sometimes and I ask why he hasn't written and he says yahoo just isn't letting him and keeps throwing up an error. It has done that to him before and after a few tries it has let him but it's been almost a week and I miss getting his e-mails. He did how ever call earlier this week for the first time all month and I was super happy to hear his voice again and we got to talk for a whole hour!
Now last night I stayed up until 1:30 AM to say good morning to him when he got on because I didn't have to work today until 4 PM but the whole time he was being super sketchy with me and kept pushing what I did last night after work. I've never kept secrets from him and I've never had anything to hide so I didn't understand why he was being so weird. So, I told him I had gone to Olive Garden with a friend and he just said 'love you. bye'. He does that a lot since he runs late for work in the morning the days that I do get up to talk to him.
Since I don't work until 4 today I was home to talk to him when he got off work about an hour ago as well. I asked him why he was being so sketchy before and he said he was just wondering. I let it go and we talked about school. He needs to get a degree to promote faster so he has been looking into doing some classes over there. He has such little time as it is over there to talk and such that I was a little worried about our time. I told him how proud I am of him but how selfish I am with our time sometimes and how I was hoping we wouldn't lose any of our time. He was being so so so short with me which just instantly gets me everytime. He said he was going to the gym and would be back on later but he knew I would be at work. I told him I was a little upset but how it was kind of irrational because I want him to do his school but I am worried how much little time we will have when he already has been putting off e-mailing me back which is really our only form of contact through the week mainly. He said he was sorry and I shouldn't feel that way and he is doing everything he can. I felt really bad for overreacting about it and said I was sorry and that I know he is busy and that I am proud of what he is doing. It was a longer heart-felt IM about how I felt and at the end of it all I got was "i love you. bye" AGAIN. He wasn't late for anything, he doesn't NEED to go to the gym, he could have waited 5 more freakin' minutes to make sure I was okay but he just sped off, leaving me even more upset than before.
I am trying to stay till the very last second when I have to leave for work now to hopefully talk to him when he gets back from the gym but I'm not even sure if that is a good idea. I am mad and don't want to lash out on him but really, when I'm upset you do not go to the gym especially when I am trying to apologize for MAYBE overreacting but now I don't think I was.
This isn't going to end us or anything like that but I'm annoyed with him for sure.
I've been reading his letters he wrote to me when he was in basic training just so I remember he isn't always such a douchebag.
/vent
A job that since my SO is Iraq, leaves us very little talking time. He gets on the computer around 2-5pm my time and around 1:30 AM my time as well. My job as me working almost everyday 10-7. which means I can rarely stay up that late to talk and I am never home on work days when he is on. Usually we write e-mails but he hasn't written back in a week. We catch each other sometimes and I ask why he hasn't written and he says yahoo just isn't letting him and keeps throwing up an error. It has done that to him before and after a few tries it has let him but it's been almost a week and I miss getting his e-mails. He did how ever call earlier this week for the first time all month and I was super happy to hear his voice again and we got to talk for a whole hour!
Now last night I stayed up until 1:30 AM to say good morning to him when he got on because I didn't have to work today until 4 PM but the whole time he was being super sketchy with me and kept pushing what I did last night after work. I've never kept secrets from him and I've never had anything to hide so I didn't understand why he was being so weird. So, I told him I had gone to Olive Garden with a friend and he just said 'love you. bye'. He does that a lot since he runs late for work in the morning the days that I do get up to talk to him.
Since I don't work until 4 today I was home to talk to him when he got off work about an hour ago as well. I asked him why he was being so sketchy before and he said he was just wondering. I let it go and we talked about school. He needs to get a degree to promote faster so he has been looking into doing some classes over there. He has such little time as it is over there to talk and such that I was a little worried about our time. I told him how proud I am of him but how selfish I am with our time sometimes and how I was hoping we wouldn't lose any of our time. He was being so so so short with me which just instantly gets me everytime. He said he was going to the gym and would be back on later but he knew I would be at work. I told him I was a little upset but how it was kind of irrational because I want him to do his school but I am worried how much little time we will have when he already has been putting off e-mailing me back which is really our only form of contact through the week mainly. He said he was sorry and I shouldn't feel that way and he is doing everything he can. I felt really bad for overreacting about it and said I was sorry and that I know he is busy and that I am proud of what he is doing. It was a longer heart-felt IM about how I felt and at the end of it all I got was "i love you. bye" AGAIN. He wasn't late for anything, he doesn't NEED to go to the gym, he could have waited 5 more freakin' minutes to make sure I was okay but he just sped off, leaving me even more upset than before.
I am trying to stay till the very last second when I have to leave for work now to hopefully talk to him when he gets back from the gym but I'm not even sure if that is a good idea. I am mad and don't want to lash out on him but really, when I'm upset you do not go to the gym especially when I am trying to apologize for MAYBE overreacting but now I don't think I was.
This isn't going to end us or anything like that but I'm annoyed with him for sure.
I've been reading his letters he wrote to me when he was in basic training just so I remember he isn't always such a douchebag.
/vent
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