Would you wait for your SO?

[Liz]

Currently, My SO and I are not together. He has been going through a lot of stresses, and being in a LDR was making things worse because it was making him feel worse and even more guilty for not being with me along with a matter of other reasons. So, for now and probably till I move down there in a year to be with him, we're remaining friends. Nothing though (and i mean NOTHING) has changed between us besides the fact we no long call each other cute names or say I Love You. I've decided that I will wait for him, because I love him with everything in me and want him and only him. We have been together 2 and a half years (this September would be 3 years) and we have been in a LDR from the very start. We've been through too much to just give up, this is something I've also decided.


I was wondering...

Would you wait for your SO if he/she needed their space?

[folclor]

Interesting, we've had this discussion before.

Alex is afraid that when I go up there he won't be ready for a relationship. Hence, he told me he's scared that it'll be 'right girl, wrong time' but that he'd want to be in a relationship with me when he was ready. So I've thought about what would we do if we both knew we still loved each other but couldn't be together. Yeah, I'd wait. I couldn't date anyone else knowing that I still loved him and that my heart belonged to him.

[agentholli]

yes i would wait. the love that I share with Mark, isn't something you just give up. Its a once in a lifetime thing. If you feel like he is the one for you, this is will just be a silly little speed bump on the road of forever.

[ntenzer]

I think I would wait for him, but only if he asked me to. I wouldn't want to break up and wait until we could be CDR to realize our love isn't as strong anymore. If he needed time and space, he's entitled, and although I would probably be miserable there is really nothing I would be able to do about it but I think I would ask if he wanted me to wait, because if he "wasn't sure" than I don't think I'd be able to be rejected twice..

[garnet]

Rane and I have discussed this too, sort of. It was more of a, if the distance doesn't look like it's ending anytime soon, how long will you stick it out type of thing. He said he would wait forever, and that is the conclusion I came to as well, although I have time working against me, since I am 11 years older than him.
Back to the topic, I believe if one of us needed space, we would wait. Forever? I don't know. I do think a strong attempt would be made by either of us, to give the other what they needed for as long as we could.

[lunamea]

I don't really understand why being LD friends should be so much easier than being in an LDR. I know that if someone I loved would just want to be friends while I want to be in a relationship, I'd be really hurt and I'm not sure I could handle being reminded of that all the time. Maybe I'm selfish, but I would wonder what he needed the space for... I don't really see how being in an LDR could be such a burden, but then, I don't know the specific circumstances. I mean, you can also agree to talk less or give him space in other ways and still be together. To me, not being in a relationship anymore but just friends necessarily changes things. I don't think it would work for me because I couldn't hold my feelings back like that, but if it improves things for you, I hope it works out.

[Mio]

Big hugs for you girl!

[MadMolly]

I wouldn't wait, I mean if I met someone in person who I liked I wouldn't say no but at the same time, you never know when your paths will intertwine again so the whole waiting/not waiting thing isn't a big issue. However if he was the one instigating a just-be-friends thing, no I certainly would not wait. If I was single and he was single at a time we could be together, then cool, but I wouldn't close myself off from anyone else.

[Insanity]

Interesting, we've had this discussion before.

Alex is afraid that when I go up there he won't be ready for a relationship. Hence, he told me he's scared that it'll be 'right girl, wrong time' but that he'd want to be in a relationship with me when he was ready. So I've thought about what would we do if we both knew we still loved each other but couldn't be together. Yeah, I'd wait. I couldn't date anyone else knowing that I still loved him and that my heart belonged to him.

That's kind of what me and my guy are going though, he's not ready to meet yet. I love him so much so I'll wait for him, I'm hoping its not too long because it is really hard for me being so far away from him but I want things to work out between us. We spent 3 months apart and even then we both still loved each other, neither of us feel like we could ever move on and meet somebody else.

[Moon]

It would depend on the situation, but I would definitely NOT wait forever! Forever is a long time to hope somebody comes to their senses, when they might not. Also, if I were younger, like my teens or twenties, I wouldn't wait very long at all, you only get that time of your life once, don't waste it on somebody who doesn't really want you, because someone else (just as good) will.

[Sara]

Is he "waiting for you"? If he is dating other people or in another relationship, or even actively looking for one, I don't think you bother waiting. If he just needs some time alone to focus and sort out his life without having to worry about maintaining a serious relationship, then I think you should wait. If after spending time alone, he is still in love with you, I think that's a sign of how strong your relationship can be - leaving each other just doesn't work. However, I wouldn't move to be with him until he was ready to be back in a serious relationship. I hope things work out for you!

[ErinKristine]

2 1/2 years ago I went through something like this. We had been together 3 years when the guy I was with said he needed a break, for six months after that we remained friends (with benefits). After those six months he stopped responding to calls, texts, emails, etc. so I just figured it was over and started seeing other people. A few months after that, when I began seeing my current SO, he came back and apologized for messing up big time and wanted to get back together, I told him no.
So the short of it is, no I wouldn't wait, I know that sounds insensitive, but in my situation if he didn't want to be in a relationship at that time because of things going on in his life then who knew when he'd get things figured out. I waited for six months and that was long enough, I'm glad I didn't wait any longer because if I had I wouldn't have met the person I believe I'm meant to be with.

[Liz]

He says that he needs to sort through things that he's been trying to ignore since he was younger. He began realizing that what he was trying to ignore was getting worse, and he just doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment. He told me that he still really cares for me and that he still wants me in his life and that he's completely understand if i wanted to move on. He also told me that in a year or so theres a good chance he'd be ready to be in a relationship again, which that's not that big of a problem because I'd have to wait a year anyway to be with him. Idk, this is a iffy topic that a lot of people have different opinions on. I know that I'm young and that he's my first boyfriend, but what we had is real and i figure that life is all about taking that leap of faith, I've already managed 6 months of being single, and I'm fine. I know I want him, or at least, I know I want to find out for sure if I want him, and the only way that's gonna happen is if I wait this year out and find out for myself.

[kraut]

I guess I don't think I would wait. I would be willing to talk about it when they were ready to maybe rekindle the romance. I also would never more for my SO if we were not romantically involved. Frankly, that is a recipe for heartbreak.

[Zephii]

Well, I kinda waited, and Obi deffinantly waited for me. We we'ren't all dramatic like, we didn't tell each other about it. But there was a lot of waiting while we grew up, got past things in our own lives and wasted time wishing we could be together rather than actually trying to make it happen.
Would I wait for him now? Well that's harder. Now, I'm all grown up and ready to have a life. It'd take a lot more than "needing space" to make me wait now.
I don't really agree with moving to where he is - leaving everything behind - for a guy you're not actually dating though. I couldn't do that. Hell it was hard enough doing it for a guy I am dating