Suggestions on how to handle

[KaitlinLynne]

Hi. My name is Kaitlin and my boyfriend's name is Martin. We've been together for 1 year and 7 months now, however, I am still having troubles dealing with us being apart. Maybe a bit of background would help:

My boyfriend and I live in different countries. He was born in Holland and I was born in the USA. We met online on a MMORPG(Mass Multyplayer Online Role Playing Games) and we finally met for real in August of 2010 when he flew over here. We both knew that we were going to have to wait to be together, and I have been trying to deal with being apart from him. We try to visit each other as much as we can, but money is tight now-a-days and we can't always see each other when we'd like to. We spend about 6 months apart and usually only get about 4-6 weeks with each other at a time. I was just there over Christmas and New Year with him and his family, and it was wonderful, until I had to leave. I feel like I get depressed whenever one of us leaves, and its hard to NOT think about it, because I love him so much. He's in college right now, which means he has a lot less time to spend with me, and although I try to be supportive, it is very hard. We still play MMORPG's and we even play blackops together, we're on msn on the cams everyday, but it doesn't seem to help me at all, in fact, seeing him on cams just makes me want to cry because I can't hug him.

I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to deal with it. I feel like part of me is missing, like I'm only half of myself. Any suggestions or ideas are welcome. Thank you.

[MoveAlong92]

i feel that sometimes too
and crying kinda helps for me and i just let my boyfriend know how i feel,
let him comfort me and it helps for me

i met my bf on mmorpg too XD
but we hvnt met yet , i mean in real life
we both dont have enough money..yet lol

[kiti28]

Hei Kaitlin!
I can understand how you feel,its sometimes very hard that you can't be with your SO more often,but some couples are even less fortunate.I live very far from my SO and the tickets are expenisve so my prediction is we will be able to see each other 1 maybe 2 times a year for short period if i am lucky.But you know,somehow it doesn't bother me so much anymore.And we are together only 6 months. I just know that everything is gonna be great once we close the distance.Now I am enjoying time to get to know him better,cause all we do is talk and its a great opportunity to know about him a lot new things. More you will think how hard it is to be apart the more depressed you feel.Try to hold on to the good times you had together,read old messages,picture your future together-that helps me a lot.I am very possitive person,so while I am away from my love I just try to enjoy myself,meet new friends,go out.It helps a lot.I also have bad days too,but then I just remember how lucky I am to have such amazing person in my life and how blessed I am.I believe there is a reason why we are apart for now,this distance teaches me so much about relationship,about myself,so its a godd thing too.Hang on girl,you can do this.You are stronger then you think you are.After some time when you are gonna be finally together you will look back and say thanks for all the things you went through,cause it made you stronger.Keep on smiling,life is good

---------- Post added at 11:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:15 AM ----------

Hei Kaitlin!
I can understand how you feel,its sometimes very hard that you can't be with your SO more often,but some couples are even less fortunate.I live very far from my SO and the tickets are expenisve so my prediction is we will be able to see each other 1 maybe 2 times a year for short period if i am lucky.But you know,somehow it doesn't bother me so much anymore.And we are together only 6 months. I just know that everything is gonna be great once we close the distance.Now I am enjoying time to get to know him better,cause all we do is talk and its a great opportunity to know about him a lot new things. More you will think how hard it is to be apart the more depressed you feel.Try to hold on to the good times you had together,read old messages,picture your future together-that helps me a lot.I am very possitive person,so while I am away from my love I just try to enjoy myself,meet new friends,go out.It helps a lot.I also have bad days too,but then I just remember how lucky I am to have such amazing person in my life and how blessed I am.I believe there is a reason why we are apart for now,this distance teaches me so much about relationship,about myself,so its a godd thing too.Hang on girl,you can do this.You are stronger then you think you are.After some time when you are gonna be finally together you will look back and say thanks for all the things you went through,cause it made you stronger.Keep on smiling,life is good

[ChibiFelicia]

hey! i met my man on an mmorpg too xD

I totally understand how you feel, we skype etc everyday but we dont cam. I miss him more. I jsut look at pictures and we talk about how we were feeling when we took them etc (means alot of repeated convos but ohwell).

Way i deal with it is, keep busy. Play the games we paly together. Set goals in that game so i can do them or he can when we cant talk to each other. Work, sing go out anything really. I also find it helps to plan what we'll do when we see other...and of course about closing the distance. We're in the process of sorting out getting married!. Mainly i am lol. Have you guys gotten to the stage about closing the distance? I find that helps. Theres a lot of stuff to sort out for a visa so i've been doing that.

[Rugger]

All LDR go thrugh this at some point. My advice is to keep busy with other things. When it gets to be too much for me, I throw myself into some hobby. I bake. I read. I write. I work. I make myself so tired that Ijust don't have the energy to think about how much I miss him. It's gotten a lot harder recently, because two of my friends whom haven't even been in LDRs for that long, closed the distance and my SO and I who have been in an LDR the better part of two years haven't. It's really stressing me out and I've just tried to keep as busy as possible.

[KaitlinLynne]

I know that everything will be perfect once we close the distance, but we won't be able to for at least 5 years, and I need to know how to handle it until then. Basically, I am getting very depressed when I am away from him. He is handling this all very well and has "accepted" what's going on (his word not mine lol). But I just can't seem to get a grip on it, the more I think about how wonderful it was to be together, the more it hurts to be apart. I don't have enough money to be able to go out and do things to keep myself busy, and I can't find a job Anywhere around here, so its hard to be at home all day thinking about it. I can't afford to really DO anything at all. I wish we could get married now, I'd love that, but we've talked about it and he has told me plainly that he wants to wait, and I respect that decision. Also, neither of us has the money to get married now. Basically, we're both broke, and he's busy with college, and I have nothing better to do than sit home all day thinking about how much I miss him, and how I miss the little things, like him just being near me.