You're Too Young to Be In Love

[Haley53]

So I'm not sure this is the right forum for this (as usual, I think I'm overthinking forum placement) but since we have younger/teenage members - being 20 (and 1/2 ), I'm not far from it myself~! - and since I've seen it sprouting up in the blog posts lately, I figured this would be an interesting topic. I'm hoping that we can all remain mature enough to accept other's opinions, whether or not we like them, and not start a debate. It's not usually a problem on this forum, but this can be touchy, so I want to make it clear that the intention is to see where people stand, not spark a debate or any negative feelings.

I feel like people tend to be overly critical of "young love." I feel like when you're 16, you're critical of the 12-year-olds who claim to be in love and break up within a week, or there are times you're even critical of your peers. I can't tell you how many times I heard "I mean, it's nice that Stacy's found someone, but she's never had a long-term relationship. Me, I'm someone who requires love to be a part of my relationships. When I love someone, I love them completely, and I want my relationships to be for the long-term" in high school. It seems that you hit your 20s, mid-20s, and you become critical of the teens and pre-teens. And then people in their 40s seem to be critical of us naive 20-year-old youngsters. :P It seems like love is always up for debate, always cause for question, as for when it's real and when the person has no clue what love is. So, where do you stand?

Personally, the way I see it is that we love for as much as we're capable, and I see love as being an emotion that is constantly growing and maturing with you. For example, that boy/girl you're convinced you're going to marry when you're 5? I do consider that "love" in the sense those feelings of affection and that sense of wanting to spend your life with that person is very real at that time. No, at that age, you have no concept of what it means to be in a relationship or what it means to be married, but what you have with that person is real, however limited in capacity it might be. I feel the same way about someone who's 14. They may experience love a lot differently than someone who experiences it at 16, and that 16-year-old will experience love differently than someone who's 25. No, I won't go so far as to say I believe in love at first sight in the sense you can love someone and know they're "the one" within a day, same as I don't think you can love someone without ever having said a single word beyond "hi" to them. :P But to me, love is a very real emotion whether you're experiencing it at 14 or 40. To me, what's different between the different stages is the maturity of the feeling, because I think that love not only develops but flourishes with experience. I think experience comes in having different relationships and different experiences with your partner and also different experiences as you age, and I think that all of that helps contribute to more mature forms of love. I think my mother, for example, can probably love more maturely and with more wisdom than me, not based on her age but on what she's learned in that time and also in what she's learned from her divorce. I think some of the members on this site, such as Moon (I believe Moon has mentioned a divorce/offered some wise words on threads about marriage), probably have more wisdom in the way of relationships than I do at 20, with fewer not only romantic experiences but life experiences as well. That doesn't mean I think that their love is any more real than the love I feel for my partner.

I suppose I got curious because I see a lot of people saying "and don't try to tell me what love is. I know that I'm young but I also know that I love my partner" and it's made me wonder why there's such a stigma or why people hold so many negative feelings towards young love. I think I'm more likely to judge someone on the way they act or on the way they portray their relationships. For example, someone who's 15 and considers the forum "stupid" because we don't think it's a good idea to be getting engaged within two weeks of meeting their partner is likely to bring out a more negative reaction in me than someone who's 15, says they love their partner, and has as much realistic expectation for their relationship as any of us. But I feel this way about anyone at any age. I would think it about me, too, if I felt and acted the same. :P But it has nothing to do with their feelings for the person, rather the maturity with which they carry themselves and present their relationships.

So I'm curious, what do you think? What are your opinions on young love? And if you've ever criticised it, has it been their feelings or their way of presenting and conducting themselves/their relationships?

I also feel like there's a trend, that we hit in high school and again in college, of thinking that we are the exception. Like I feel like it's pretty universal when you hit those stages where your entire life is turned upside down and you're at yet another point of rediscovery (often adolescence and then college/fresh out of college, when you hit the "adult world"), people tend to think - I can be guilty of this as well - that however it happened for others, it's not going to happen for them as well. I try not to be too much like that for as much as I can help it, especially since the attitude of "it will never happen to me/us" tends to irk me a bit, but I'm assuming that that may also play into irritation?

[Shepard-Fowkes]

I also feel like there's a trend, that we hit in high school and again in college, of thinking that we are the exception. Like I feel like it's pretty universal when you hit those stages where your entire life is turned upside down and you're at yet another point of rediscovery (often adolescence and then college/fresh out of college, when you hit the "adult world"), people tend to think - I can be guilty of this as well - that however it happened for others, it's not going to happen for them as well. I try not to be too much like that for as much as I can help it, especially since the attitude of "it will never happen to me/us" tends to irk me a bit, but I'm assuming that that may also play into irritation?

This exists with everyone (I'm reminded of the MST3K sketch "Why don't they look?": "It won't happen to you! It'll happen to the other guy..." *sandwich/lint trap/hot plate to the eye* "AAAAAAH!!!" "Why don't they look?"). It's especially apparent in teens and young adults, and there's a couple reasons for that. First, our brains aren't developed enough to figure out consequences and to think ahead. That's why teens are, well, sometimes absolutely stupid. Second, we rarely have enough experience to figure out patterns of abusive or just bad relationships. Third, we often lack the ability to communicate because it's all me-me-me. But I definitely do believe that some young adults can defy that pattern. It often takes someone very introspective (like me), who knows themselves very well or someone very extroverted, who understands and has a genuine desire to interact with people. You also can't rule out the effects of hormones :P. I believe that young LDR's, though, weed out those weaker relationships. An LDR can't be only about the physical things. In order to have a successful LDR, you need to learn communication and patience and trust and how to recognize what is valuable and fight for it. Honestly, sometimes some adults don't learn these qualities. One thing that I notice distinguishes some young love from others is that those truly in love will at least listen to advice. I have seen instances (not here specifically) where the couple will say "But you just don't understand! You've never been in looooove like us!" In order to eliminate the stereotypes about young love, we have to be able to listen to outside sources and appreciate the advice they give.

That's my convoluted way of saying this: young love is just as valid as any other kind, as long as it is truly love.

[Oregongirl]

Who I was in my teens and early twenties was completely different as to who I was when I was 30.The relationship, and eventual marriage, that I entered when I was 20 failed because the both of us changed a whole lot as we grew up. I say 'grew up' because as you progress in your twenties you start finally figuring out who you are, and you may not end up having anything in common with the person that you thought that you'd spend your life together with. Not everybody matures at the same level at the same time either, so that can also totally put the brakes on a relationship.I can safely say that 100% of the people that I knew when I was 20 are not in the relationships now that they were in back then. That may sound sad but it's the truth. Sometimes I read this forum and feel like I'm an outsider looking in because I'm older and have quite a lot of relationship experience.

Sometimes when I read some of the posts on here I inwardly cringe because I can just tell that things are going to end badly for the person because they have unreal expectations of their relationship. I can understand younger people being excited about being in love, however it takes a whole lot of work to make a relationship last. Especially so if it is one that involves distance. I've known my SO for over 2 years and we are finally going to meet in person in less than two weeks. I honestly don't think I would have been mature enough to have handled this in my early 20's. I would have been totally unrealistic about things and had been blown over by the fact that some British guy found me attractive. The whole foreigner sweeping me off my feet thing. At my age,soon to be 41, I know exactly what I want out of a relationship and if my SO didn't fill the needs that I want out of one I would just walk away instead of dragging it out and torturing myself. We have a lot in common but we also are willing to work out differences without wanting to change who the other person is. I see a lot of younger folk on here bending over backwards to please their partners while they get nothing out of their relationship in return. NOBODY should have to change who they are to please somebody else who supposedly loves them. If somebody loves you they are going to accept you for who you are, including your faults and weaknesses.

I have seen a fair number of younger women on here who have older partners who seem to be controlling them on some level and that really freaks me out. It makes me think of where are the parents in all of this and do they even know what their child is up to? There have been countless stories of younger women taking off from home to meet their internet love and then they come to find out they are nothing but a predator. If a teenager is too scared to go to their parents about the relationship then perhaps it's because they know that on some level that something is wrong with it because they know that their parents won't approve of it. I have feared for the safety of some of the members on here because they have put themselves in some compromising positions that they may later regret.

Well that was quite a ramble!

[meganpillow]

I'm 19 years old, and I know how it feels to be taken down because people think I am too young to be in love. I've had boyfriends before that I thought I was in love with, but then I realized that I either wasn't in love with them, just the feeling, or I psychologically and involuntarily made myself believe that I was in love to find a sense of "relief" I guess you can say that I found somebody that I wanted to spend my life with.
But, back then, I really didn't know exactly what it was all about.

I met my SO when I turned 18 years old, and till this day I am still with him.

I agree, I believe knowing what love is about experience instead of age. I think a lot of people get confused about love and lust.

Also, I believe that LDRs are a prime example of love. It's literally the ultimate test of the relationship. It proves this: Can you survive a relationship without physical interaction? Can you design your day in order to fit in time to speak with your SO? Can you work out problems without physical reaction? Can you stay faithful? Can you learn to trust?

People tell me that I don't know what love is, but how can they question something primarily based on their eyes? They don't know what my SO and I have been going through. They don't know who we are.
I know that this is love because we work in such a great team. We argue with intelligence. We don't scream and call each other names.
We enjoy each other's company just by doing day to day things (laundry, making food, cleaning, doing homework, etc.)
We save money together and take trips together and we share common insights when it comes to politics, money, family, and culture.
I don't need his attention all the time, because I respect that he needs his personal time as well.
I respect his opinions, and we encourage each other to achieve.
We are each others cheerleaders!!

I think that's what love is. I see him about 4.5 months out of the 12 months of a year. And I'm fine with that.
He is willing to wait for me to follow my dreams, and he promises to stay back home and wait for me.

[Haley53]

@Shepard-Fowkes - I like to think I'm fairly introspective as well, and I can't say I've ever applied the "I'm the exception!" idea to my relationships. Won't lie and say I've never applied that idea to other things, however, though a lot more of that was done when I was younger. As a psych major, I have learned a fair bit about development, so it's nice to hear when someone else has a good grasp on it as well, beyond the whole "your brain hasn't even finished developing until your mid-20s!" argument that a lot of people throw out without much understanding of what that even means. :P

I believe I posted another thread at one point about the difference between LDRs and CDRs as in are LDRs really harder, because there seems to be a bit of an elitest stereotype about what it means to be in a LDR and I was curious as to how true that was when given others' opinions. https://members.lovingfromadistance....-REALLY-Harder is the post if you're curious, since you mentioned LDRs in comparison to CDRs. But I will agree with you in that not all adults learn and grow in the way that they're generally expected. I have honestly met some adults who are more naive than I am, or who have more tumultuous relationships despite having been in more relationships, etc. It is very individually dependent, as Oregongirl also mentioned, and as I believe you're implying/saying as well. I will agree with you on that "you don't understand!" issue. That's a case in which I would likely form a judgment based on the maturity of the individual and how that might reflect on the maturity of their relationship versus on the degree of love that they're experiencing.

@Oregongirl - Don't worry about the ramble! :P I love 'em and I do read through every word!

I do definitely agree with everything you have stated, especially your first paragraph. As I was reading it, I was seriously reciting "yes! Yes! Yes!" in my head. I think the fact that you change a whole hell of a lot in these young years is the reason I don't think I would ever feel comfortable being married so young. My partner is 19 and he is looking to go back to college. I still have my senior year, and then grad school. Yes, we are still moving towards closing the distance for a while (I plan to do a working holiday, as I believe in living together before marriage/engagement), but we are both also aware of the fact that we have our own lives and futures to think about. We both need to think about what we want for the long-term and go for it, because if he's "the one," then it's not going to matter that I have several years of grad school or that he's going back to school later than he might usually, due to his circumstances. If he's "the one," then we're going to be able to work it out, get through it, and grow together. But we both have to be open and accepting of the fact that, however heartbreaking it would be, there's also the chance that we might end up growing apart. I hate thinking about it and I'd like to think it won't happen, but there's a lot of growing up we both still have to do, regardless of the hands we've been dealt that have already caused us to have to grow up faster than a lot of others our age. For me, I not only want to be more settled before I think about marriage, but there's also the fact that I need to look at how we face our growing and changing lives together. I need to look at how we grow up and I need to see if we're two people who can grow together, or if we'll grow in separate directions. I think a lot of people tend to get married young (early 20s) and I have always seen that as a mistake. I feel like very few young marriages last, and even fewer of those lasting marriages are actually happy, but I think if you can find someone who you're capable of growing with, then you've found something beautiful.

[usmcgirl]

As I'm only 15 myself, I'm not sure I qualify to reply to this, but I'll give it a shot.
I have broken down in tears, because some has said this to me. If what I/he/we feel isn't love.. what is? I'm willing to delay college and marry him early, rather than wait and possibly lose him forever (he's a Marine). I will be the first to admit, I'm critical of 13 year olds who are telling each other they love one another... after 2 days of dating. But if they've been dating for 6 or 7 months, they have every single right to say it. I hate hate hate people who judge it. Honestly, I am a firm believe in the "love knows no age." quote because truly, it doesn't. You love your teddy bear, like no other. A few years later, you find that passion whether it be sports, dance, or something else. A few years later, you've fallen for this guy/girl, and you can see yourself with him, 10 15 20 years down the line. Yes, I know I'm setting myself up for potential hearbreak. No, going behind my mother's back because she cut off contact between us probably isn't the best thing to do, but I'm risking it because he's worth it. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, I'm not saying I know more than the adults in my life saying "you're too young blah blah blah." I'm just saying: this is my life. This is the guy I can see a future with. This is the guy who has swore to stand by me, and protect me, and prove to my mother that he loves me. Who are they to try and take that away from me?

[Brieasaurus]

To be honest, I never really thought about this. Like you said, I went about it like "Oh, you guys have been dating CD for a few days now and you think you're going to get married? Hah. Try being in a LDR for a year and then you can be on my level." which is pretty lame, I admit, but it's how I thought about things. My parents and friends still think that I'm being foolish for having expectations that once I'm done with school that we'll be together and get engaged. Even I think it's crazy until I look at our spreadsheet full of numbers and see that it can and will work out. My mom told me just the other night that "In order to know what love really is you need to experience different people and your emotions to them".. which I think is crazy haha. In a way, I feel lucky to have Desty be only my second boyfriend. I never really had to go through the heartbreak and learn the hard way just how bad relationships can end. Let's knock on wood that I never have to truly know.

But to me, love is a very real emotion whether you're experiencing it at 14 or 40. To me, what's different between the different stages is the maturity of the feeling, because I think that love not only develops but flourishes with experience. I think experience comes in having different relationships and different experiences with your partner and also different experiences as you age, and I think that all of that helps contribute to more mature forms of love.

I agree with this. Although it's annoying to see all the 12 year old kids on facebook saying how much they love their boyfriend of a day, I'm not at all doubting that some cases can be real love. I think that some of the most successful marriages that I've seen, the couple has stuck to one another throughout all the hardships and that's made their love strong. I think it really comes down to the key parts of a relationship which are commitment, trust and desire. If you have those, and hold onto them throughout your entire relationship, I feel like you can accomplish the strongest love there is.

Another thing (you might've said this already but my memory is down the drain tonight haha), I feel like a couple's situation also has a lot to do with things. I'm a strong believer that if you can make it long distance, you can make it. Not saying that if a couple is never separated at all that they have less of a chance to work out, because that's obviously not the case but I do think that going through obstacles in a relationship adds to the "durability" of it? If that makes sense. For example, my best friend was contemplating breaking up with her boyfriend because they both couldn't find the time to be with one another physically. Does that make sense to me? Not at all. To her though, it made perfect sense because she doesn't necessarily love him, she loves the idea of being love. Hence why I think that those couples who have made sacrifices and are going through the hardships of not being with one another and establishing an emotional connection before physical one have a steadier base to build a relationship on. True, I'm applying it a little more to my case (not physically meeting until after we started dating for a few months) but regardless, anyone who has a relationship survive through hardships is pretty remarkable in my book. Especially if you're young. A few of my favorite teachers who know of my situation although they think it's silly that I'm choosing not to experience "the norm" (i.e partying every night, casual hook ups), they think it's courageous that my SO and I are continuing to make it work. Way off topic here, but I hope you guys can somewhat understand my thinking process and how it sorta ties in to one idea to the other haha.

[Haley53]

@meganpillow -- I definitely agree about the confusion between love and lust, though I would still say that not everything less than "mature love" is lust. For example, the first person I thought I loved... I can look back now and say that what we had was not love, not even close, but I do think I loved my ex. Not in the same way as I love my SO and not to the same extent, but I did have feelings of love for him at the time that we were dating. I would say though that those feelings of love were very reminiscent of the typical "first love," where it may have been love but it wasn't necessarily a more matured form of it, which is where I'm coming from when I say that love comes with experience and not with age.

I also agree that some of the questions you asked are pretty huge when it comes to thinking about what's love and what is not.

---------- Post added at 09:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:09 PM ----------

Oh gosh! People keep replying as I do! I promise I will get to everyone eventually.

[Oregongirl]

I do definitely agree with everything you have stated, especially your first paragraph. As I was reading it, I was seriously reciting "yes! Yes! Yes!" in my head. I think the fact that you change a whole hell of a lot in these young years is the reason I don't think I would ever feel comfortable being married so young. My partner is 19 and he is looking to go back to college. I still have my senior year, and then grad school. Yes, we are still moving towards closing the distance for a while (I plan to do a working holiday, as I believe in living together before marriage/engagement), but we are both also aware of the fact that we have our own lives and futures to think about. We both need to think about what we want for the long-term and go for it, because if he's "the one," then it's not going to matter that I have several years of grad school or that he's going back to school later than he might usually, due to his circumstances. If he's "the one," then we're going to be able to work it out, get through it, and grow together. But we both have to be open and accepting of the fact that, however heartbreaking it would be, there's also the chance that we might end up growing apart. I hate thinking about it and I'd like to think it won't happen, but there's a lot of growing up we both still have to do, regardless of the hands we've been dealt that have already caused us to have to grow up faster than a lot of others our age. For me, I not only want to be more settled before I think about marriage, but there's also the fact that I need to look at how we face our growing and changing lives together. I need to look at how we grow up and I need to see if we're two people who can grow together, or if we'll grow in separate directions. I think a lot of people tend to get married young (early 20s) and I have always seen that as a mistake. I feel like very few young marriages last, and even fewer of those lasting marriages are actually happy, but I think if you can find someone who you're capable of growing with, then you've found something beautiful.

In order for me to be with my SO on a permanent basis legally we are going to have to get married.If this first visit works out I am going to spend the summer with him so that we are living together and can test things out. I feel that living together first is really, really important because you learn things about a person that you really wouldn't otherwise.I feel more postive about this relationship than any other I have been in because we have both finished growing up and both know what we want out of life. The fact that he lives in the UK is a bit of a pain in the rear end but I feel that he is totally worth it.Finding sombody that you feel totally comfortable with and who loves you, respects you, and values you for the person that you are is a rare thing and should never be taken for granted.

[Moon]

So I'm curious, what do you think? What are your opinions on young love? And if you've ever criticised it, has it been their feelings or their way of presenting and conducting themselves/their relationships?

I'm not so sure it has as much to do with age, as maturity. Of course young love exists, we've all been there, but it gets silly when the kids in high school start referring to their SO's of three months, that they won't meet for years, as their fiances. Slam me, it's cool, but I roll my eyes at every one of those!

I feel really bad when I read very young people professing their endless love and talking about wedding stuff because, while the love is definitely there, almost no relationship at that age is gonna lead to marriage and happily ever after. I feel bad because I know they'll likely be writing a heart-wrenching post in the not to distant future about the absolute pain and confusion over that first true heartbreak That doesn't mean it wasn't love, it just means it wasn't the lasting kind. It happens to all of us, it helps us learn and grow too.

The only time I criticize is when someone is being completely blind and/or stupid, and I don't care if they're 15 or 55 then. There is NO reason to ever allow yourself to be treated like shit for supposed love, cause that ain't love! Sure, love changes as you get older, but that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you can't fall before that though!

I do kinda hate reading about high school kids in LDR's though, just because I think about them missing out on so many things being wrapped up in someone so far away, with such seriousness. You'll never, ever get another chance to go to Homecoming, or Prom. Once you grow up, those illicit keg parties in the woods are done forever, and those cheap travel abroad language class trips that your parents pay for are no more. I just hate thinking of anyone missing out on the most influential period of their lives over some guy(or girl) whose screen name you won't even remember in 10 years. But I keep my mouth shut about that, cause really, who wants to hear that crap?!

Young love is what it is, everyone thinks THIS relationship is different, THIS one's going all the way. 99% of the time it doesn't, but so what? Live, love, learn and have fun. Expect a few heartbreaks along the way though, it won't feel like it, but you WILL get over them IMO, those serious, long-term, real relationships usually don't happen until university age, by then you've learned enough about yourself to handle it, and make decent decisions about the people you choose to spend your time with.

I don't pretend to relate to the high school stuff anymore, which is why I generally avoid those kind of threads, but I do remember my high school days back in the stone age Feelings and emotions don't change much, and love is love. It's just when you get older you consider the circumstances and situation differently, and the things you've learned along the way trump your hormones in deciding on someone. Oh, and most importantly, you realize that Love DOESN'T conquer all, and there's a lot more to it than that!

The nice thing about young love is that you don't go in all cynical and jaded, I miss that!

I hope that answers your question, Eclaire! I'm not entirely sure I explained myself well.

[Haley53]

@usmcgirl - Of course you qualify! Everyone's entitled to their opinion, whether they're past the age of still hearing it or whether they're at the age of hearing it. I welcome everyone to share if they're wanting/willing.

You reminded me of another point and that's that I agree. Love is not limited to romantic love. From a very young age, you feel love for your favourite stuffed animal, your parents, your friends, things you enjoy doing, even your pets, if you have them. I mean, I have had my cat since 7-years-old. He had my heart the first time he caught my gaze and held it. I have loved him since, and 13 years later, I don't love him any less. I suppose one could say that such love is not the same as romantic love, but the way I feel is that love is the one emotion that is universal. It is a language that shatters all barriers, in my opinion. The funny thing is is that it's all too often a language people try and interpret, and I think trying to interpret it and put a definition to it becomes a partial reason for miscommunications and thinking people are "too young" to know what loving someone even means.

@Brieasaurus - I definitely agree on circumstances also helping to define a relationship, and on how some trials/circumstances can actually strengthen a relationship. When my SO's mother passed away, I got a lot of support (primarily on LFAD), but a lot more people either saying they a) could not handle being in the situation themselves or b) that I should end my relationship. We hit a lot of difficulties and there were a lot of obstacles. We had our demons to face both individually and together as a couple, but we pushed through it, we made it through the worst of it, and I feel like our relationship has almost been strengthened because of it. I also feel that we face a similar situation in simply choosing to defy the distance, because as we all know, distance isn't easy; some people, like the friend you mentioned, can't do it, same as some people could not do the relationship I had with my boyfriend after his mother passed away. So I will agree that circumstances play a large and crucial part in it as well.

---------- Post added at 09:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:22 PM ----------

@Oregongirl - I understand your frustration. My SO is in Ireland. I do intend to do a working holiday, I have made connections who will be able to help me get a job, and that is what's allowing me to spend up to a year there, living with my SO and giving things a go, for which I feel incredibly fortunate. I do understand that to live together for longer than that on a more permanent basis, marriage would likely be one of the only routes we could go. But I agree with you so incredibly much on your last sentiment.

@Moon - I wish I had more to say but I really don't other than that I agree 100%. I typically agree with everything you have to say. xD

[Moon]

This exists with everyone (I'm reminded of the MST3K sketch "Why don't they look?": "It won't happen to you! It'll happen to the other guy..." *sandwich/lint trap/hot plate to the eye* "AAAAAAH!!!" "Why don't they look?"). It's especially apparent in teens and young adults, and there's a couple reasons for that. First, our brains aren't developed enough to figure out consequences and to think ahead. That's why teens are, well, sometimes absolutely stupid. Second, we rarely have enough experience to figure out patterns of abusive or just bad relationships. Third, we often lack the ability to communicate because it's all me-me-me. But I definitely do believe that some young adults can defy that pattern. It often takes someone very introspective (like me), who knows themselves very well or someone very extroverted, who understands and has a genuine desire to interact with people. You also can't rule out the effects of hormones :P. I believe that young LDR's, though, weed out those weaker relationships. An LDR can't be only about the physical things. In order to have a successful LDR, you need to learn communication and patience and trust and how to recognize what is valuable and fight for it. Honestly, sometimes some adults don't learn these qualities. One thing that I notice distinguishes some young love from others is that those truly in love will at least listen to advice. I have seen instances (not here specifically) where the couple will say "But you just don't understand! You've never been in looooove like us!" In order to eliminate the stereotypes about young love, we have to be able to listen to outside sources and appreciate the advice they give.

That's my convoluted way of saying this: young love is just as valid as any other kind, as long as it is truly love.

That's a damn fine, well-thought out answer from a 16 year old. This is what I mean about maturity, you get it.

[Bethypoo]

So I'm curious, what do you think? What are your opinions on young love? And if you've ever criticised it, has it been their feelings or their way of presenting and conducting themselves/their relationships?

I'm not so sure it has as much to do with age, as maturity. Of course young love exists, we've all been there, but it gets silly when the kids in high school start referring to their SO's of three months, that they won't meet for years, as their fiances. Slam me, it's cool, but I roll my eyes at every one of those!

I feel really bad when I read very young people professing their endless love and talking about wedding stuff because, while the love is definitely there, almost no relationship at that age is gonna lead to marriage and happily ever after. I feel bad because I know they'll likely be writing a heart-wrenching post in the not to distant future about the absolute pain and confusion over that first true heartbreak That doesn't mean it wasn't love, it just means it wasn't the lasting kind. It happens to all of us, it helps us learn and grow too.

I agree with this. I mean, I think that you can find someone that you love at 15. But if you are only ever with that person, it will be hard not to grow up and possibly apart. I firmly believe that you need to date multiple people. How are you suppose to know for sure how you feel if it is all you know. I have been in 7 or 8 different relationships ranging in severity. However, with out that, I wouldnt have knowing how great my SO is and the difference of, feeling like you are in love and actually being in love.

I dont know, I feel like to each their own. But there are people in their 20's, 30's and even 40's who arent as mature as some 18-20 year olds that I have met. So it does depend on your emotional ability. But it is hard to accept teenage romances' 1) when all they can talk about is the other person and do not have a life of their own 2) create drama about not talking every two seconds 3) have a heightened insecurity about cheating and just talking to other people even when it is platonic. When I hear that stuff, I am immediately annoyed.

But that isn't to say that there are some "young loves" that will survive out there.

[elizabethjp2010]

So I'm curious, what do you think? What are your opinions on young love? And if you've ever criticised it, has it been their feelings or their way of presenting and conducting themselves/their relationships?

I'm not so sure it has as much to do with age, as maturity.

I AGREE!

Heres how i see it, it is not impossible but it sure as hell is hard. I work with 5th-12th graders, and one thing i have learned is that high schoolers and younger people confuse love with infatuation or lust. I am young dont get me wrong, but a difference is that i am willing to learn from mistakes michael and i have made and move on. Alot of kids arent and thats how you know they are not for that person. BUT IT CAN HAPPEN! My best friends big brother is 27 he just married his 26 year old wife, he met in the 8th grade!
I think that if you love someone you love them, and the LAST thing kids want to hear is that they dont love the one theyre with because they do, even if just for those few fleeting seconds in theyre mind they do, and saying you dont will only drive them more into the arms of their SO, or worse the bed room......

just saying.....

[elizabethjp2010]

i dont think going behind your mothers back, or rushing into a marriage right out of school is a good idea, im sorry i just dont, i understand you love your SO i do not doubt that, but both are really risky and dangerous things