Should I get mad when my boyfriend doesn't reply for a really long time?

[Sarahjacobs]

We just barely started dating long distance just last week. I already hate it so much.
He seems to be doing okay though. He told me that we would text a lot more than we used to when we got to see each other, but he takes FOREVER to text me back, like anywhere from 20minutes to an hour or two. I always get super sad when it happens. should i? I know hes not doing anything super important when i text him, he is just usually with his friends.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

My SO is the same way and we've been LD now for 14.5 out of the 17.5 months we've been dating. I am used to it by now, but at first it used to bother the hell out of me. Some days it still does, if it's something important I needed to ask him. I think I got more upset and insulted than actually angry, though there were definitely times that I did get angry. I think I only told him about it or said something a few times, when it was really important and he didn't reply and I got pissed off. Don't bring it up to him that often because he'll take it as nagging. I mean, maybe he is actually busy with something. Also, if he is with friends, he's allowed to. Sometimes if my SO is with his friends, he will try to reply right away, sometimes he doesn't, but if he tells me he's with friends, I let him be and ask him to text me later. Try not to get discouraged, I know it's hard! The first few weeks or so are the hardest, transitioning and getting used to it all. Once you get into a routine, you'll find it gets a little easier.

[Zapookie]

I think the best thing for you is to keep yourself busy/occupied. Don't spend your time sitting around constantly checking your phone, because that will make it more difficult for you.

I understand that being with people, you don't have the time to be looking at your phone all the time. It can also come across as rude to the people that you're with because they might think you're not interested in what they're doing or what you'd have to say.

Patience is such a virtue when it comes to being LD. You will learn soon to not get so anxious and sad when he doesn't reply to you quickly. It took me a while too, but I got there eventually

[Bethypoo]

You are still getting used to the distance. it is hard to get used to. But he, as you do, have a life outside of talking to one another. But it is still new and will take you awhile. I am sure he notices the distance and doesnt like it, but he has found a way to stay busy. It has nothing to do with him 'seeming okay.'

My SO will do this sometimes and it drives me nuts. The thing is he wants to talk to me and do something else and the sometime and therefore not get back to me as fast. So I tell him now, that if he wants to do that other thing, he doesn't have to text me. Other than an 'i love you' or 'i miss you' that is all i need.

Maybe let him know that this bothers you. But dont get so frusterated. Stay busy with your own life and that way the times that you dont talk arent so bad.

[DollOnAMusicBox]

I used to have this same problem with my SO. We would be on instant messenger or whatever and he would take aaaages to type back. It drove me nuts, because its not something I would ever do to someone. He's had shoddy internet, he's fallen asleep and he's just gotten too wrapped up in a game. They all suck but...they're all just life. It doesn't mean he loves me any less, or doesn't want to be with me...it just means that he wants to have his own life too...which is important to me. Part of it is maturity and when your life gets busy I'm sure you'll expect the same courtesy from him. Give him the benefit of the doubt!!

[Sora1101]

Don't get mad at him, sure it's okay to be sad but it's not his fault he's going out and not glued to his phone. Take this time to do things you want to do, hang out with your friends etc. Because you're new to the distance I suggest setting up specific days where you both put things aside and have a date night until you get used to the routine of being away from your partner.

[digitalfever]

I'd say your more angry that he's not giving you the immediate attention you crave and that you are mad because you feel you deserve it. While, you do deserve attention you have to remember that people have to go about their lives. CD or LD people still have appointments and obligations to keep up with. 20 mins to two hours isn't all that long when you think of it.

[HollzHeartsChris]

It's takes Chris around the same amount of time to text me back and sometimes I'm lucky if I get one message in a day. He might just be busy. Don't worry, and don't moap around. He'll answer back when he can

[ChibiFelicia]

when i wasn't working it'd bug me a bit but i didnt dwell on it. I guess i just kept myself busy. I would say dont get mad at him and keep busy. I think it depends on the couple but for me texting/messaging all day would be too much for me, my SO and i kinda find that a lil too clingy. There are exceptions obviously eg. going through a rough patch or it's a special day

[LilyChiba]

Same thing happens here and I've brought it up more than once. He doesn't understand why I feel that it makes me feel less important than what he's doing at the time. Think to it like.. I make sure if he has responded and responded as soon as possible, but I could be waiting ages for him. It's something to learn to cope with and normally it only bothers me when I really need his attention. As the others said, find something to do, its really the only way to keep your mind off him whilst waiting haha.

[megfashion]

sometimes it is just like that. the SO has strict instructions that if he is out with his mates, he *must* text when he is back at his flat so i know he is safe (bad experiences with parties etc...).

depends on the circumstance. i dont expect him to text during the day because of lectures or work, sometimes we dont text for the whole day (maybe a morning text but then its off to lessons)

if you dont have skype calls or one-to-one time, i understand if you are upset. not nice to feel completely shut out.

just talk to him and tell him how you feel. if its a matter of anxiety not knowing if he is safe or not (i have other reasons why he has to text which he understands and id rather not say here), then talk to him and explain how you feel and "if its ok to just text every so often so i know you are ok"

hope that helps x

[rubydissolution]

Yea I understand that issue, I try not to let it bother me anymore. I used to get upset, I even posted here a few times about it. I just left my phone at home a couple times so I couldn't stare at it or check it all day. Kinda helped break the habit. He can't text at work and its kind of rude when texting with friends. The only time I really get bothered now is when he doesn't text me all day. So, it'll get easier, leave your phone at home once or twice. It'll help.

[Chifuyu4]

Mine would just read my messages and never reply for like a full day, and I always had to be the one to start a conversation. We actually broke up the first time because of this, a lack of communication sucks. Make sure you talk to him about your expectations for communication and you'll be happier in the long run and your relationship has a much better chance of lasting Good luck b