Bad Decision or One of Those You'll Never Regret?

[jlb14]

So I'm totally having a mental breakdown. This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of when I left school and I began a LDR with my boyfriend. Tonight after all my friends told me how they are going out I decided I might pack up and move to the city nearby where my boyfriend lives for the next three months. I found a cheap apartment that I could afford. Now before you tell me I'm crazy i'm going to give a little background information. Haha.

I'm turning 24 in two weeks. My boyfriend still attends the college I graduated from so all my friends are there too. In the last five months I have worked a full time job and attended school full time. Tonight after my friends told me they are going out I just had it. I have spent every weeknight pushing myself through school. My friends here both have children so I sit home most nights working on school work. Yesterday I was offered a job halfway between me and him. Due to an accident on the freeway heading home I turned around and headed to see him. It was wonderful but at the same time it was hard to leave.

I don't know how many of you live around busy cities but rush hour is a pain. Going to this new job for the next 6 weeks would mean I would have to drive through that everyday. If I would move by my boyfriend I would have a shorter drive and avoid rush hour.

I feel like I'm having to grow up to fast. I get to school on the weekends (I do all the driving because my boyfriend doesn't have a car) and get to hear about the fun times they had and i'm jealous. I miss my friends and further more I miss my boyfriend. This move wouldn't put me into debt because I have a job lined up for six weeks starting in March and have the next month to really save up. I haven't run it by my SO yet because he's busy currently but his only objection is he wants me to have enough money to move to his city in June. I don't think that would be a problem.

I needed advice from people who understand the difficulty of long distance because no one does here. Is this one of those decisions you look back on and regret or laugh at because you would do it again? Please help!

[meganpillow]

I might sound crazy... I might sound completely naive... maybe even cheesy... but you know deep down what the right thing to do is.
You listed all positives.
It's close to work, and doesn't interfere with anything you got going on... so why hold back?
A year is plenty of time to get to know the person right? And I think it would be a safe step to go ahead and move in with him and learn even more about him.
At 24 years old, you can do these things (:

[Moon]

Hmmmm...you're 24 and a college graduate, and you feel like you're being made to grow up too fast? I really, really don't mean to sound rude, but honey, you ARE a grown up! Like it or not, you're there and those college party days hanging out with your friends just isn't gonna cut it anymore, you've gotta just deal with it and move into this phase of your life. If you don't like city rush hours, go ahead and move, what's so crazy about that? It's normal. If you can do that and still save money, you can do whatever you want, you're an adult. I guess I'm not really understanding the problem, could you clarify maybe?

[Haley53]

I have to agree with Moon really. Once you get through your undergrad, it's pretty much another transition into being even more of an adult and gaining even more independence, whether or not it's welcomed (and it's bound to be a bit stressful in the beginning!). You're 24, and you should be moving forward with your life and making decisions that make the most sense for you. Currently, it seems as though all signs point to things being better if you moved, i.e. avoiding rush hour, being closer to your friends and your SO, etc., so like Moon, I'm not quite sure what the problem is? I think the important thing to remember is that not everything is permanent. If you think everything would be better if you moved, you try it for a while, and it's not working, there's always the option of changing your situation, so I think that's an important point to consider also.

[kteire]

Nothing crazy about moving closer to your SO!! I'm 24 and moved to the UK so that I could be closer to him and close the distance in a few months, best decision I've ever made. You've got nothing to lose!

[Off2Spain]

I think I understand you. 24 is the point in life where you are going to make some decisions for example where you want to work and in what area. Its also the point where you start looking back on decisions already made. So its exciting and scary to take a next step. However you ARE still young and you still ARE growing up. Which on the other hand is positive because you still have time to make mistakes and then turn around completely =)

Make sure you finish college though because that will be the first thing you'd regret not doing. Other than that. Live!! Making mistakes is inevitable!

[Off2Spain]

And oh yes, i don't think 24 is the age to be working full time and attending school fulltime aswell. Its the age to discover who you are and what you want. So I completely understand you feel like you're missing out. However if financially you need to work full time then its always better than ending in debt.
I'm kind of curious now as to what age you're supposed to be a grown up and get married and have childen etc in the States? I generally get the idea we start later here. Maybe that would be a nice thread someday

[jlb14]

Sorry I haven't responded. My moving and feelings turned into a two night dispute with my SO. When we talked he told me it's a waste of money and that it's a silly idea. Of course I got a little upset that he wasn't at least a little interested in the idea. We discussed the idea a little more last night but he isn't trying to make it work at all. Luckily I think today having some time to think he is coming around to the idea.

Moon, you bring up good points and you aren't rude! I love hearing what people think because it really makes me reflect. The problem I was running into was I have my college friends which I miss terribly (hearing my SO and my best friend hang out and have stories sucks because I miss them both!) and where I currently am I have two friends who both have young children so I don't really get to spend much time with them. That leaves me stuck at home stuck in the middle because I can't party every night but I also don't have a husband and kids.

I have dated my SO for four years and half of it as been LD and half has been CD. We have four more months if I stayed at home until we closed the distance. Moving would make it less than a month. (which is a little exciting )

After calling the apartment I feel that even though it is only three months, that is three months where I can be on my own with my friends(and my SO!) close by again. Especially friends that once I move out of the state in June that I'll be six hours away from.

Thanks again for listening and taking time out of your busy days to respond. It is VERY appreciated!

[Bethypoo]

Hmmmm...you're 24 and a college graduate, and you feel like you're being made to grow up too fast? I really, really don't mean to sound rude, but honey, you ARE a grown up! Like it or not, you're there and those college party days hanging out with your friends just isn't gonna cut it anymore, you've gotta just deal with it and move into this phase of your life.

I am only 22 and agree with Moon. I think you are just scared, which is normal. But sometime soon you are just going to have to jump in and make a change. 6 months after my mom died (I wasn't even 21) i moved to a state where ai knew absolutely no one and got my life going at university. I had NEVER MOVED BEFORE!!!!! Same house for 21 years! It is terrifying, but you even said you know people. 1....2.....3 GO! That is how you have to do it.

[dukes2011]

There are definitely tough decisions in life and it sounds like you are coping with what's best for and your SO. Whenever I am toying with an idea, I go through positives and negatives (which it seems like you've done) and ask myself one more question- if I don't do this will I regret it or wonder what could have been? For me grad school was a big decision. I wanted to go somewhere that I could live at home in MD but the only school that accepted me was in NY. My boyfriend lives in VA so that made the decision harder, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't try. Life is all about taking those leaps of faith and even though it's scary someone will always be there for you!