Showing Them Your World

[AEAS]

My SO's been here 7 times, so there's not much to show him anymore. The second time he visited was actually the first time I showed him around, but nothing really phased him since he'd been to the USA a lot before. I can't wait to visit him someday though Mexico sounds interesting!

[Haley53]

Thank you everyone for your responses! It's wonderful hearing about everyone's first times showing their partners around. Makes me feel less alone and it's nice to know that for the most part, things have turned out well for everyone!

My mother's still having a hard time getting used to the idea of him sharing a bed with me. She had no issue with my ex but she was also aware that my ex and I did not have sex and that my current SO and I have. xD She would never think to make him sleep in a separate room, but her face is hilarious every time it crosses her mind, and all because her date said, "and you're going to let him stay in the same room with her? " Haha. So far so good as far as my sister (and mother) understanding my want for alone time. I basically told everyone that I figure maybe we could all spend a day in San Francisco, because I'm trying to find a way to balance the fact that I'm going to want alone time with also wanting them to get a chance to know him. So I have a renewed excitement about things. I keep flip-flopping between nerves and excitement... I genuinely cannot wait for him to be here. <3

Another question, did anyone have any worries about what would happen when their partner went back the second time around? I think I have a lot of anxieties because a previous partner broke up with me because the distance was "too hard" after the second time ("I can't keep doing it," he said), even if my current partner is convinced that was an idiotic move and for the stupidest reasons, and even if my ex had different reasons than the distance; who knew the distance could be an easy facade? For some reason I feel like the distance is something that can be overcome until you get the bitter taste of reality, which seems to happen round the second visit. :/ Obviously it's an irrational fear, for many, many, many reasons, but did any of you ever worry about whether or not they'd be able to handle it once you experienced the second parting?

---------- Post added at 09:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:29 PM ----------

Thank you everyone for your responses! It's wonderful hearing about everyone's first times showing their partners around. Makes me feel less alone and it's nice to know that for the most part, things have turned out well for everyone!

My mother's still having a hard time getting used to the idea of him sharing a bed with me. She had no issue with my ex but she was also aware that my ex and I did not have sex and that my current SO and I have. xD She would never think to make him sleep in a separate room, but her face is hilarious every time it crosses her mind, and all because her date said, "and you're going to let him stay in the same room with her? " Haha. So far so good as far as my sister (and mother) understanding my want for alone time. I basically told everyone that I figure maybe we could all spend a day in San Francisco, because I'm trying to find a way to balance the fact that I'm going to want alone time with also wanting them to get a chance to know him. So I have a renewed excitement about things. I keep flip-flopping between nerves and excitement... I genuinely cannot wait for him to be here. <3

Another question, did anyone have any worries about what would happen when their partner went back the second time around? I think I have a lot of anxieties because a previous partner broke up with me, even if my current partner is convinced that was an idiotic move and for the stupidest reasons. For some reason I feel like the distance is something that can be overcome until you get the bitter taste of reality, which seems to happen round the second visit. :/ Obviously it's an irrational fear, for many, many, many reasons, but did any of you ever worry about whether or not they'd be able to handle it once you experienced the second parting?

[Manoek]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i say this alllllllllllll the time to my SO! "I want to show you my world!" Because I've beenn to the States 5 times now (not just for him but also internships) and he has never been to The Netherlands.

He is going to be culture shocked haha! I think Holland and the States are way different! I'm actually a tourist in my own city, I've been living here for 5 years now, but there are so many thing i have neer seen. I have this really old prison in the middle of my city (https://www.blokhuispoort.com) and I pass it every day I ride my bicycle to work.

CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW HIM MY WORLD!

[flugelhorn]

Another question, did anyone have any worries about what would happen when their partner went back the second time around? I think I have a lot of anxieties because a previous partner broke up with me because the distance was "too hard" after the second time ("I can't keep doing it," he said), even if my current partner is convinced that was an idiotic move and for the stupidest reasons, and even if my ex had different reasons than the distance; who knew the distance could be an easy facade? For some reason I feel like the distance is something that can be overcome until you get the bitter taste of reality, which seems to happen round the second visit. :/ Obviously it's an irrational fear, for many, many, many reasons, but did any of you ever worry about whether or not they'd be able to handle it once you experienced the second parting?

I feel you on this - the first time I was about to get on a plane my boyfriend broke up with me. It was horrible. But we only stayed broken up in the car ride to the airport & then talked it over at the airport & decided we wanted to do long distance (we had only been dating CD for 2 months! seems so crazy now.....). For the first visit after that I lived in fear & for the second visit I was terrified he wasn't going to get on the plane to come visit at all... Honestly, I had no good reason to think that, it was just me being paranoid. Then he got here & we had a GREAT visit & when he left I wasn't afraid at all.
However, saying goodbye does get harder each time. I think it's true that the distance gets a little more 'real' each time, but so does the relationship. On this last visit my SO & I talked about closing the distance & it's nice knowing we only have about 7 more months of LDR.
So, I think it depends how your visit goes. I always think LDR can't be an excuse for a breakup, because if you want it to work then it will. I'm sorry you had to get broken up over that though. I think it's important to plan your next trip & talk about it (although I see you have it tentatively planned ) so you have something to look forward to when saying goodbye at the airport.

[Tobby]

first off, I TOTALLY AGREE with this thread! I honestly can't wait to show my SO my world here in California. We're both filipino so i already know how it is over there. I wonder though how it'll be like for her to come here with me and to experience the cali sun and what not.

[Haley53]

I feel you on this - the first time I was about to get on a plane my boyfriend broke up with me. It was horrible. But we only stayed broken up in the car ride to the airport & then talked it over at the airport & decided we wanted to do long distance (we had only been dating CD for 2 months! seems so crazy now.....). For the first visit after that I lived in fear & for the second visit I was terrified he wasn't going to get on the plane to come visit at all... Honestly, I had no good reason to think that, it was just me being paranoid. Then he got here & we had a GREAT visit & when he left I wasn't afraid at all.
However, saying goodbye does get harder each time. I think it's true that the distance gets a little more 'real' each time, but so does the relationship. On this last visit my SO & I talked about closing the distance & it's nice knowing we only have about 7 more months of LDR.
So, I think it depends how your visit goes. I always think LDR can't be an excuse for a breakup, because if you want it to work then it will. I'm sorry you had to get broken up over that though. I think it's important to plan your next trip & talk about it (although I see you have it tentatively planned ) so you have something to look forward to when saying goodbye at the airport.

I agree, and there was a lot more to the break-up than that, but because that's the original excuse that he used, that's what's solidly in my mind. :/ My boyfriend says I have nothing to worry about because he's not going to lose me and we even have a potential visit lined up for only 3 months later when it's been almost 7 between this visit and the last!, but it's hard for me not to get worked up about some things sometimes. I imagine my worries will subside when it actually happens, and I'll certainly be working on not smothering him in my insecurities. I did tell him I may need some extra kisses, snuggles, and reassurance the night before he leaves though. :P

And Tobby, I'm excited to share California with him for similar reasons. My time to visit him was my first experience in Dublin, but not my first experience in Europe/with travelling, and this is his first experience outside of Europe and travelling alone as well, so I want to make it special.

[Tooki]

This is my 2nd visit to see her in Europe.

Her folks have been pretty good to me. My girl has loved showing me her home and other parts of Europe. I've become a big wannabe Euro as a result! As I am one of a very select few individuals in Tallinn with coloured skin amongst the vast fair skinned population, it is interesting to see a much more homogenous society than in Australia.

I'm hoping to bring her down to Australia mid this year. I hope to take her to my home in NSW (meet the family, friends and show her where I was raised) and also to my place in Melbourne. I want to show her my uni life and just Australia in general. I know she will love it because she wanted to come to Australia before she met me.