What do your family and friends think/ say about your LDR?

[kittyo9]

My mom is kind of in the middle ground... She insists that he has to come here for our first meeting, which has been a major hinderance for us since my boyfriend is poor and has been denied a visa twice now. My sister (13), being young and mostly a puppet to my mom, tells me she would love to meet him but that I should never ever go there to see him if we haven't met in person yet. My aunts, surprisingly, after a long talk after his visa being denied again, seem to want to help us meet somehow.

My boyfriend's mom is fully supportive.

[Zapookie]

My mum is a bit of an old hag, so she's not really supportive of anything I do. My friends loved/adored him.

[MeganK]

My mom, sister and grandparents are supportive and understanding. But my dad isnt, he just doesnt understand the LD thing.
Hes gonna have to get use to it... Alex is here to stay in my life, he almost had a heartattack when i went to england for 6 mnths to stay and meet his family and friends, which luckily they all loved me! =]

[lala]

My mom, sister and grandparents are supportive and understanding. But my dad isnt, he just doesnt understand the LD thing.
Hes gonna have to get use to it... Alex is here to stay in my life, he almost had a heartattack when i went to england for 6 mnths to stay and meet his family and friends, which luckily they all loved me! =]

haha my dad is the same,while my mum,sis and grandparents are happy for me. but my dad is like "he is not good for you; are you so naive to believe he is not having fun there with other girls..." and he also makes fun of how my SO looks.. I think my dad is one of the evelst persons I know! -.-

[Manoek]

Most of my friends and family treats it as any other relationship. Even though they never met, I did let some of my friends talk to him on skype, and my mom has talked to his dad on skype. So they kinda met.

But for me it's a normal relationship and I talk about like it's a normal relationship. Most people don't understand though, so that's sometimes hard for me, they are happy for me, but they just don't understand that you can be happy in a LDR... A couple of them think that he will never come to The Netherlands to visit me so they don't take it seriously.

But most of them treat it like a normal relationship.

[rubydissolution]

My parents were supportive until "the mess" happened. They would prefer me to move on now bc the only alternative left for me n My SO to be together is me to move to Portland. They don't want me that far away. My friends are 50/50. Some support me, they just want me to be happy. And others much like my parents can't let go of what he did to me and want me to move on. Funny how sometimes you can get over something but your friends can't.

[SquishyLove]

that's great snow_girl!!
my family never met my bf, but they saw pictures of us together and were not so amused. my bf is the same hight as me and he is also a bit chubby. This was never/ and is not a problem for me, but my family and friends think that I could do better.. I also argued with my dad because he wanted me to forget about him. he also made fun of how he looks. Soo mean!!... it makes me really sad and really angry!!

That is pretty superficial, but I've learned that some people are just like that. Love is really on the inside, and you can't let those things get to you. Try and set up boundaries with your family members. Use an "I" statement (the equivalent of your native language), as it gets the point across without sounding accusatory. Say something like, "I don't appreciate when you make negative remarks about my significant other. I will not listen to these remarks. I am requesting that you keep these thoughts in your own mind, because I do not care what you think of my significant other's appearance. I love my significant other the way he is. If you can't tolerate it, that is your problem and not mine. I will not participate in any further discussion with you on this matter. It is very rude for you to say those things to me. I am an adult, despite the fact you are my father, and I deserve respect. If you can't respect my choices, that is your problem and I do not want to hear your opinion." You are within your rights to say these things. Boundaries are a beautiful thing if you can find a diplomatic way to set them up! It may be harder if you still live with him, though. Good luck! I wouldn't be able to handle such crappyness and it would be very hard for me to have parents like that.

[SquishyLove]

Both my SO and I are extremely fortunate that his and my family and friends are very supportive of our relationship. My parents were dubious about it at first, due to the nature of how we met and fell in love (online at first), but they didn't make disparaging remarks to my face about it. My sister tells me that my mom told her it was "weird" and since our plans to meet in person were for me to go to visit him in Russia, and it was my first trip actually overseas (been to Canada before, but that's still in the same continent, and Mom was equally worried for my sister when she studied abroad), she was worried about me travelling far away because moms always worry...but she didn't say anything negative about it to my face. My stepdad didn't say anything negative to me, either. SO and I reached out to my parents and wanted to have a Skype chat with me, him, and them at my parents' house, so after that they relaxed more because they could see his face and hear him talking, and could see he was a real person and that he's a nice guy. I also had a little Skype chat with him and his Mom, as his Mom was supportive...but his Dad was actually very angry about it at first. He interrogated him about me, asking all these questions about me, asking how could he know he loves me just by talking online (his dad is a major technophobe and doesn't understand how videochat, etc. works, so he didn't get how we could be close being so far away from each other). His mom was able to talk his dad into being a little less grumpy about the whole thing, but his dad was majorly skeptical until we met in person. Now his dad adores me! After my visit in November this past year, his dad when saying goodbye to me actually CRIED! WOW! That really floored me. I was so touched, because a Russian guy in his 60's being so outwardly emotional is a rarity, so he really had to be touched! I cried too! His parents are really sweet and I was so happy that his dad came around. His mom adored me from the start but it took his dad seeing us together and seeing how happy we are together before he came around. My parents, after seeing us together (not in person, but we had a lot of Skype chats with them while I was visiting him and of course hundreds and hundreds of photos of us together) are now extremely supportive of our relationship and can't wait to finally meet him face to face and welcome him to the family! Believe me, I know how lucky he and I are. Relationships originating online, and LDR's still have a bit of a stigma with most people. So we are very, very lucky that our families and friends support us! I guess I forgot to mention the friends...some of both of our friends were semi-skeptical, but no one directly told us that they were against it, we were both cautioned by friends to be careful but nobody directly told us that they were against it. I tend not to associate with people who try and boss me around, anyway, and neither does he. After spending time with him in person, our friends and family are all really supportive.

[bluepotato1236]

My family are supportive with my relationship. And so do my friends..:-)

[lala]

thank you SquishyLove and you are totally right!!well this began when I told my parents on skype that me and my SO become more than friends.. my mum told me that she is happy for me that I finally found someone whom I love but she also said that it's gonna be hard later with not seeing eachother. My dad freaked out (that's what my sister told me). he said that I'm so stupid, and that he is disappointed,that he thought that I'm much smarter. he also said that we look like the beauty and the beast lol I was so shocked!I thought that he has grown up and respect my decisions.. I mean I'm 23 well I still live together with my parents but my dad says as long as I live under his roof I have to respect him..blabla.
I told him that I won't talk with him about my private stuff anylonger and that in summer time he will get to know him. He also said that I'm stubborn lol yeah because I'm not acting like he wants me to do. I hate him for his behaviour, and this made our relation worse..

But like you said I know where my feelings are and I'm thankful that my mum and my sister supports me..

[sweetshay]

I don't really know. They never say much. My mom asks how he's doing and has even sent him christmas gifts and they're friends on facebook. All my dad says is "he needs to bring his ass here." Which is a lil frustrating that he has to come here once more to meet my parents before I meet his in person. But unless I talk about him I don't think they really care much.

[FadedSunrise]

My family hated it. They wanted me to have nothing to do with him. The relationship ended but it was after me hiding it from them completely for a year, so it had nothing to do with that. But given that my family is a very traditional Asian family, who think of boyfriend as synonymous with fiance, and do not have the concept of casual dating in their vocabulary, it was to be expected. Even if the boy had been American.

[HollzHeartsChris]

To be honest, I don't care what people think about me and Chris, as far as most of them know we're best friends. His friends know that we're in love, and I think my mum's probably twigged how I feel. My dad doesn't want to know.

As far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm happy and it's not hurting them, it's not my problem if they don't like it :P

[Kristin91]

My family and friends are largely supportive. There's always the occasional friend or acquaintance that doubts our relationship, or that it'll last... The one comment I HATE hearing is "Aren't you worried he'll cheat on you?!" Because it's obvious that those people cannot look past the distance and realize how close and good of a relationship we have. I just try to ignore those people by brushing off their comments with a "We make it work." and leave it at that. Most of my friends, though, want us to get married someday, which excites me so much!

[Lumos]

My family does not openly discuss relationships, so if they do have any misgivings, I don't know about them. But their actions have always been supportive. My boyfriend is always welcome to stay with us when he comes to visit me, and they like talking to him when we're on skype together.