Why are men so stubborn about going to dr?

[Jezah]

HBB has not been sleeping well lately, he used to be 6 hour guy, only needing that to be rested and awake. Now he is becoming a 8 hour + one hour to laze in bed guy. He says its because he just isn't sleeping well, keeps waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. I believe him, so I told him to go to the dr and get some sleeping pills to help and he refused, instead he got otc sleeping pills and they didnt' help at all just made him drowsy in the morning. So I told him again to go to the dr and he still refuses, and at this point I am getting mad because with him starting his new job, with its commute and all, if he doesn't start getting better sleep and going back to his old 6 hour pattern we will very rarely get time to talk when he is not exhausted. I even put it to him that way, I said "So you would rather get less time with me than go to the dr?" and he mumbled some excuses and stayed quiet. GR! Its not like its torture! Its a doctor! I also worry if he doesn't get this crap sorted he will not make it at Sandhurst since they run military hours, AE. up at like 5 am after bed at like 1am

[squeeker]

Aww I understand! My boyfriend is the same way, so stubborn to go see a doctor. I understand his fear though since I sort of have the same thing with the doctor.. he has a fear also with going to the doctor that they'll give him medication or tell him he has something seriously wrong. Maybe try looking up online on methods to help get better sleep.. there might be certain things he can do to help him sleep.. perhaps stating a sleep routine that he does every night before he has to sleep, to sort of calm him down or something.. What works would probably be different for every person, but it's just a thought!

[sweetshay]

Lol my bf sure as hell isn't stubborn about it. If he hiccups he's on his way there!

[Moon]

To be honest, I wouldn't go either. I hate medication, especially any kind of prescription pill that's supposed to make you sleep or calm you down. For some people, like me, medication is an absolute last resort and I do also have sleep issues, maybe he's the same way. Everyone gets bouts on insomnia from time to time, and that includes broken up sleep, not just being unable to sleep at all, and it generally will resolve itself before too long. Give him a few weeks before you mention it to him again, he knows his body better than you do, and not every little thing needs to be treated with a pill. He might just need a couple of weeks to get his normal rhythm back.

[Engel]

Maybe he doesnt have enough money to go to the doctor and doesnt wann tell you.
Does he have health enssurance that would cover a normal doctor appointment?

[sarahbear]

my SO is exactly the same. Actually having sleep troubles right now and is feeling not well. I keep telling him to go to the doctor even though he is convinced that it is something serious like cancer. I told him if he thinks its serious, why doesn't he just go ASAP. he told me because if its still serious, its going to always be there anyways. I DON'T GET IT. JUST GO TO THE DAMN DOCTOR, be proactive! especially if he is feeling really sick. gah i don't get it...

[Haley53]

I would have an issue with going to the doctor for sleep related issues as well and I am someone who's been noted as that I struggle with insomnia and been on medication for it. The issue is that the OTC drugs are likely going to have a similar effect to the prescription drugs. Unfortunately drowsiness is an issue regardless of what medication you're on (for sleep. Generally, anyway). :/ I took Trazadone for a while, which is a non-addictive and fairly harmless medication. It was originally an antidepressant in high doses but because of how drowsy/sleepy it makes people, it's now very rarely used for that purpose, so it's one of those drugs where you can fiddle with the dosage and it's relatively harmless. That being said, it does have the side effect of being groggy in the morning and the ever so lovely cotton mouth. The thing is that those effects subside with regular usage, but that'd be true of the OTC meds as well. Even getting the 8-9 recommended hours of sleep to help lessen the drowsy effects, he's still likely to experience it somewhat, so if he's looking for a medication to help him sleep based on that reason alone, he's unlikely to find it in an actual sleep aid. I know some people take other medications for sleep, but oftentimes those medications are not prescribed unless there are chronic issues with depression and anxiety coinciding with the insomnia, so I'm not sure what his options would be. I know at least here, Ambien is a commonly prescribed sleep medication which is absolutely ridiculous given how addictive it is for a lot of people, and you build up more and more of a tolerance to it. I dunno. I tend to disagree with a lot of the sleeping meds simply based on their properties.

The things that can be suggested/are recommended are:

Exercise. Exercise is an incredible regulator. Even if he gets up an additional hour earlier and forces himself out of bed to go run for an hour or even walking, he should start seeing an effect on his other rhythmic cycles as well.

A sleep schedule. If he's on a set schedule (especially if it's coinciding with exercise), such as, say, going to bed at 10pm regardless of how unable to sleep he is, and getting up at 6am and getting out of bed regardless of how tired he is, his body/brain is more likely to recognise it and again, fall into the pattern of it than if he's all over the place and thus reinforcing his current strangeness in his sleep cycle. Oh, and no naps!

Computers and TVs off! Computers and TVs should be off an hour before bed. There's something in the lighting of both that actually stimulates brain activity and reduces the production of melatonin (though this is true for all light sources, which is why some people are particularly sensitive to having a night light even), which is what contributes to being able to sleep, so if he shuts them off an hour before bed and does a quiet activity such as reading or even working on a project, the chemistry of his brain itself will be more ready for bed, as opposed to his conscience being ready for bed and all "you should be asleep by now" and his brain being stimulated. :P

A lot of things can factor into a wonk in his sleeping pattern, so like Moon said, I would wait it out. I think the doctor and medication should be involved if and only if it becomes chronic and starts significantly imparing him in his work. It could be the stress of a new job, a new routine, stress about something going in the relationship (feeling strained about the distance, particularly missing you, etc.), and so on and so forth. Hopefully his sleep improves once he's running on more of a schedule.

Also, I'd like to point out that if he's running on four hours, such as being in bed after 1am and up before 5am, then sleeping pills would not be the greatest idea given that most require you sleep for 8-9 hours.

[lucybelle]

Well first of all sleeping pills are extremely addictive and have really crazy side effects. Most of the time if you're on them you aren't allowed to drive a car or anything. So if I were him, I wouldn't have gone to the doctor either. There are plenty of types of natural sleeping methods that can help. Make sure he's getting plenty of exercise during the day, but not right before bed. Drinking a glass of warm milk before bed helps. Lots of little things.

I also sleep horribly every night. I wake up at least 5 times a night and I need tons of sleep to get through the day. But I would never think of going to get sleeping pills for that.

[kteire]

Yikes, I wouldn't recommend doctors or sleeping pills, particularly not the pills. Like it's been said already, pills are not for those sorts of circumstances and are ridiculously easy to become addicted to. And they won't help him get his old rhythm back. Sometimes your sleeping habits can be disrupted for weird reasons, like less exercise than usual, anxiety, caffeine, alcohol, etc. I usually sleep right through the night but if something is bugging me at all before I sleep, I wake up at 4:13 like clockwork in a panic. And if I'm exhausted and am worried about sleeping enough that night, I wake up every hour. It always gets better after a few weeks, sometimes your body just needs to go through that phase of being tired to realise it's got to shut itself down properly next time!!