First off hello and i am new here. I am also new to this long distance relationship thing. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and 8 months. Last year we started to live together at my parents, because he was kind of kicked out of his parents house. So for a year we have been living together in my room. About 3 months ago my boyfriend started to talk about trying to move away and getting out of this crappy town we live in. So last month he asked his friend who lives in Knockville,TN, if he could come stay with him and so that's what he is doing. He has been down there for almost two weeks now. I have been very supportive about him moving. I mean this is a good thing for him. It gives him a chance to be independent and do something with his life. Other than be sitting and doing nothing. I felt so bad when he was here he was miserable and the only reason he stayed was because i was here. I miss him like crazy. we have been apart for a long period of time, but nothing like this. He is going to be staying down there for a very long time. I am going to college, so we wont get to see each other much. I am feeling so sad and depressed all the time. I really don't get to hang out with the few friends I have. I really don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to just think about how much i am missing him and be sad all the time. It also doesn't help I don't get to speak to him as much as i want. I feel so lonely and empty right now. I just need i guess some advice on how to deal with this. I want to talk to my boyfriend about this but I don't want to make him feel bad that he decided to move. I just really don't know what to do.
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Well first off welcome to LFAD!
On to the topic at hand, I think it's very reasonable that you're feeling this way. We're all like that at the beginning of the LDR. It's a great thing that you're being so supportive of him, but remember not to push your own emotions and feelings aside too. Tell him about it in a way that doesn't make him feel like you're blaming him or anything. Plus, the fact that you two basically lived together for a year. It's very hard to deal with the distance by itself, but when you are so used to seeing him every single day, it makes even harder. That doesn't mean it's impossible though. Just take it one day at a time, and start planning when you two will get to visit. Having a goal always always helps the pain. And it's good that you at least have a few friends. And you're starting college soon, so trust me you'll have other things to focus on. You should look around to see what kind of clubs your school offers. Maybe even think about joining a sorority or starting a LDR club if they don't already have one. Stay involved. Because if you stay bored and inactive too often, it can really get to you. Trust me.
But I think the most important thing to do first is to plan when you two will see each other again. I don't know how far away he is, but regardless, knowing when you will get to see him again will help to keep your mind focused on the goal. Talk to him too. Just let him know that you're feeling lonely and having a hard time dealing. Maybe request to talk a little more often.
Don't worry, it'll get better. The beginning is always hard.sigpic
Began our story ~ July 1, 2007
Our first LDR ~ August 2009
Closed the distance ~ January 2011
He joined the Air Force ~ January 1, 2013
Our second LDR ~ January 2, 2013
He proposed ~ July 4, 2013
Our wedding day ~ December 30, 2014
Closing the distance ~ Summer 2015
Proud of my Airman!!
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The beginning of a LDR is always the toughest part. Everyone goes through an adjustment period simply because it's a change. My SO and I went to college together and have been LD since we graduated in May. I made the decision to go to grad school in NY which was hard, but we both knew it was best for me. I think it's great that you're supportive of your SO and you've been able to look at how moving has had positive outcomes for him as an individual. Even though it can be tough, you must be honest about your feelings and never hold them back. Communication is key in any relationship, especially a LDR. It will get easier and we're all here for you at LFAD. Members are always there to offer advice and cheer each other on when something good happens, too! Good luck and can't wait to see you around the forums!!
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I was in one..... it lasted for 3 months.....<3 2/15/2017<3Comment
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Your issue is very similar to mine, minus the longevity of your relationship and living with your bf. I've known my bf since last summer, and we've been together since last November, and made it official three weeks ago. A week into our relationship, I had to leave to go back to college, and at first it wasn't that bad. But, when mother nature decided to pay me a visit, it hit like a tsunami, and I've been devastated for the past week. It's rough, I feel guilty for having to come back up here for school, but I know that it is necessary. I cry more than I should (I'm blaming hormones) and I'm horrifically depressed (I'm blaming hormones on this too, lol!), but this is an amazing site, and though I'm not ready to talk to him about it, I know I can comfortably talk about it here!
That was just my two cents of the matter, lol, just know you're not alone, hope that helped!
Zandria <3BEST FRIENDS SINCE: 10/03/2012FIRST MEET: 02/10/2016 to 02/15/2016SECOND VISIT: 03/30/2016Comment
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