What Do Your Friends Think?

[Kairi19]

So my SO went back to Thailand yesterday and after speaking about it with a couple of my friends, it made me wonder how all your friends deal with your LDR?

For me, some of my friends are happy to talk about it and offer encouragement. Others are less interested and just don't understand how difficult it can be.

What about you guys? Are your friends understanding or not so much? Do you ever talk about your LDR with them or keep it to yourself?

[kteire]

My best friend was not very supportive at first, but she seemed more worried about my SO cheating because she knows that I'm very monogamous and have trust issues... and she thought it was unfair of me to expect my SO to be faithful when we'd only see each other every few months. But after meeting him, she was like, yeah you don't have anything to worry about, that guy's a keeper! Everyone else has been supportive, particularly my friends here in Edinburgh since they see him all the time and love him!

[Haley53]

Some are, some are not, but I would say that most don't understand what it means to be in a LDR. Because of this, I tend not to disclose too much about my relationship, but it isn't as though I have friends who don't want to hear about it, don't approve, and are outspoken against the relationship. So I suppose they're supportive, but only in a very broad and general sense?

[Kristin91]

My friends are great about it! I think it helps a bit because we were good friends in high school, and then when we went to college and realized we had feelings for each other (and thus started our long distance relationship). Sometimes I'll be talking to someone and they'll make a comment about how they don't see how we make it work, and how it must be so hard, and is it really worth it? And I just tell them that we talk all the time, yes it's hard, but it's worth it just to get those moments when I can be in his arms! I talk about my SO all the time with them, and they know all about him, and he them. I don't discuss my LDR too much, which is a big reason why I joined the community... just to have other people that I know will understand and that experience the same kind of issues. Occasionally something about my LDR gets brought up on a more serious level, but usually it's just me talking about something my SO said or did. My best girl friend at school is super supportive too. Like when she knows he's left after a weekend of visiting me or something, she'll text me and say "I know Newt's gone, but we all still love you!" stuff like that which makes me feel good

[Trethsparr]

They were all supportive of me choosing to go into the LDR (we were CD to start, so most of them had met him already). I think they tried to be as supportive as they could be during the year we were LD, even though none of my friends had personal experience with an LDR. It's hard to help others sometimes when they're dealing with a situation you're not familiar with. I can't say their advice was always helpful, but the fact that they cared about and cheered for us meant worlds to me.

[Rugger]

My friends from college were assholes about me dating my SO from the very start and they knew him before I did! The assholishness continued until I cut contact with them. My other friends are very very supportive of my relationship. They love my SO and as long as I'm happy, they are happy.

[bethyylovee]

Most of my friends think I'm crazy. I always get the "I don't understand how you do it." "I could never do that." But it's really simple for me. I do it because I love him. I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. That's simple. So I guess my friends like him, they just think we're crazy.

[Kerry]

people I know in real life are very supportive. not all of our internet friends (people we both know but have never met) have been supportive. that's why FB has a block button!

[carolynred]

My friends I met in college have been way more supportive than my friends from high school. I guess drama with my ex made my high school friends weary about the subject of my relationship. I think deep down they do like seeing me happy, but they just don't want to discuss it at all. They'll say a nice few comments on facebook every now and then. Most of them I think don't know what to say because its an LDR. They're slowly coming around though. xD

[Haley53]

people I know in real life are very supportive. not all of our internet friends (people we both know but have never met) have been supportive. that's why FB has a block button!

Haha, sounds like you have the opposite problem of a lot of people. xD

[snow_girl]

If any of my friends ever had a problem with it, they never said outwardly. They all really liked my SO when he came to visit so I think meeting him and seeing how awesome he is also helps to make them understand.

[bigmac62]

All of my closer friends are pretty awesome about it. They've all but brought her into our circle of friends, and seem to think the same thing I do: that she's the best thing to ever happen to me.

[Zandria]

Well one of my friends is in a LDR, and my other two close friends are not. Only one of them truly understands how difficult it is for me to go through this, since my bf and I are so close and connected. The other two don't even understand, even though one of them is in a LDR....It's frustrating, they make bitter comments when I'm sobbing in my room depressed of why I shouldn't be in a LDR. So, let's just say I try not to talk about it, hurt or not, around them. If only they knew...

Zandria <3

[Cheddarx89]

I really think it depends on how your relationship is. I was in a LDR once that was just an overall bad relationship and my friends/family were not supportive at all. The current relationship I am in is MUCH better and everyone I know is super supportive. My friends are always asking about my boyfriend; how is he doing, does he like his job, when is he coming to visit, etc. Sometimes I think they get almost excited as me when we comes to visit. My friends understand that it is hard on both of us.

Your friends will react to how you are reacting. If you are always sad and depressed about your LDR, that is what they are going to see. Your friends want to see you happy. I know it is hard, and I'm not saying to never cry (because sometime you just really need to let it out). Bring up your SO in conversations related to something that made you happy. I know I get teary eyes whenever I talk about my boy so I don't do it too often, but having those little happy moments really help others around you be supportive. Share stories like others do about their non-distant relationships, or even simple comments like "So-and-so likes football too."

Ultimately, be strong. You have this website full of supportive and understanding peers.

The one thing that annoys me though is when they complain about not seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend for a few days. They act like their world is really falling apart. I've gotten so mad at them that I legit flipped out and started yelling at them. I guess this kind of helped them realize how lucky they are to see each other multiple times a week and how hard it really is to apart.

[lademoiselle]

Mine have never expressed much of an opinion either way... I don't think they understand it at all. I often feel pretty alone in the offline world