Help me decide. I can't make up my mind.

[rubydissolution]

So, I'm trying to figure out whether I should go see Wes again in March/April for a week and then again in July for his birthday. OR wait the 6 months and go see him for 2 weeks. (still for his birthday but would be an extra week).

There are a couple of factors I'm considering. I'm currently saving up to move to him in Portland. So, waiting til July would save on a plane ticket, which is between $300-400. But it would mean waiting to see him. Since we've been together save when we first got together, we've seen each other every 3 months. So this would be a stretch for me. However, since I saw him two weeks ago, a lot of my doubts and resentment have gone away and i'm feeling secure in our relationship again. Maybe I could go the six months knowing that in July I would be seeing him for 2 weeks and not 7 days.

The second factor is the 'where am i staying'. This last visit I stayed in a hotel. That was in the $400 range. So I would be able to get that paid off in the 6 months. I don't know if I would be staying in a hotel or if he'll have his own place again by July. So if I wait there is the potential that I won't have to pay for a hotel. I would hope that if I end up with a hotel the next time i see him he'll help with that cost. But it would be a 2 week hotel cost.

There are just a lot of things to weigh on and I could use some advice. Thanx in advance =) So, what do you guys think?

[Haley53]

Well I was going to say I'm all for it (if I had two weeks, I would personally prefer having one week break-up the stretch of time between seeing each other) until I read that you're saving up to close the distance. I think a one week trip can be sacrificed if you're saving up to close the distance more permanently, simply because I think that's the more practical decision. One thing you could consider is mapping out a budget. What's your projected income from now until, say, the end of the year? When are you hoping to close the distance and what are your expenses going to be? Once you do that, and have it all laid out, you might be able to better make a decision as to whether or not you can afford an extra trip in between.

[rubydissolution]

Well I've already got a moving budget. I've got all my expenses mapped out. Driving cross country is an expensive endevor in itself. So I know how much of my income will be going for bills and how much will be for savings. I'm not gonna be hurting for money by buying an extra plane ticket. I'm just not sure if i want to break it up. I mean two weeks would be awesome, and only one good bye. Its just a longer wait til hello...lol.

I'm trying to think of his income as well. When I visit he insists on being a gentleman n paying for everything. Since he's saving for an apartment, i'm not sure if its better for him if i break it up or do it all at once. Just a lot of factors to consider here. S'why its hard to pick the best option

[Haley53]

Hm, well in that case, I suppose it's a matter of preference. Some people prefer longer visits to more shorter ones. For me, it would have to be a month or more before I considered not breaking up visits if breaking them up was possible, so for me, because it's two one week visits versus one two week visit, I would likely take the two visits. Yes, it's one more goodbye, but I'm an impatient person and I like having a dose of my SO to tide me over until the next visit. :P Not to mention that it's a bit easier (not entirely, but a bit) saying goodbye knowing you have plans for the near future. But if you're someone who's patient enough to wait and would prefer a longer visit, then I would go for that one. If it were me, though, I'd take two visits as opposed to one.

[rubydissolution]

Yea I kind of feel the same. I want to see him sooner rather then later. I'm just going to have to talk to him about it some more. For some reason he really doesn't want to talk about plans too far in the future. So, I have to decide and run it by him. Its like btw I think I should visit soon. lol!

[digitalfever]

I think the two visits would be better. That way it's a shorter period of time in between seeing him and you have a lot to look forward too