If you met online, did you take the relationship seriously at first?

[sweetshay]

My SO confessed to me that he pursued a relationship with me because he was more interested in sex when we first met and definitely didn't see us lasting long. He was more or less a man whore and I had to break him out of it quick.

I on the other hand just saw someone who was an awesome person to talk to and possibly a great online friend. But I also would have never guessed that i'd end up in a serious LDR. However, when we got in a relationship I took it seriously, I stopped talking to any other guys I already had things with and really wanted to give it a try.

What were your initial intentions with the person you got in an LDR with? Did you just want it to be an online thing or did you really see yourselves meeting one day?

[Sierra]

What were your initial intentions with the person you got in an LDR with? Did you just want it to be an online thing or did you really see yourselves meeting one day?

When I first started talking to my boyfriend online it was because we had a really great friendship and everything in common. I did not see it leaving the online world even after I had feelings for him. I hoped that it would, but I didn't know for sure. I tried to get us to meet early on but it didn't happen.

Years went by and my feelings progressed and I noticed that his feeling had changed towards me too. At that point I knew I wanted to be in a relationship with him, but again, it didn't seem possible. I tried to arrange another meeting that fell through. After that though, he started calling me "babe, baby, darling" etc. I knew then that my feelings were being returned and I made sure we met. Which we did and we started dating.

For those years that I did have feelings for him, I didn't see us meeting, I had no idea how I was going to make it work when he pretty much well ... didn't follow through, but I did want to meet him. In the end, I made a resolution with myself, I was going to MAKE visit between us work by a certain date, as in, I saved they money, paid for the airfare myself, all that so he could come out and see me. I told myself that if we couldn't meet by that date, I'd just have to let my romantic feelings go and try to remain friends.

I know neither of us wanted to find ourselves in a LDR, but sometimes when you find someone so special, it's just worth it.

[sweetshay]

In the end, I made a resolution with myself, I was going to MAKE visit between us work by a certain date, as in, I saved they money, paid for the airfare myself, all that so he could come out and see me. I told myself that if we couldn't meet by that date, I'd just have to let my romantic feelings go and try to remain friends.

I love the approach that you took to this, that was very smart. I was too young to have the resources to come see him myself, not to mention my own fear of flying alone because i've never been on a plane before. But I wish I would have thought about things like this.

[Sierra]

I love the approach that you took to this, that was very smart. I was too young to have the resources to come see him myself, not to mention my own fear of flying alone because i've never been on a plane before. But I wish I would have thought about things like this.

Believe me when I say I felt like I had to. I literally lived off rice and frozen veggies for two months (I only work part time because of an injury so my financial means are limited). It was really important to me to meet him and see if the feelings we had for each other were the same in person, I owed it to myself. But at the point I had done this, I had had feelings for him for .... 2+ years and was at the end of my rope. I knew I either had to give it my all, or just move on.

What really pushed me was right after my boyfriend started being all lovey dovey and giving me pet names online was that I met someone great, but he lived in Washington. I could tell that this other guy and I had a connection and I was pretty excited by meeting him...but I couldn't get my now boyfriend out of my head. I guess it was at that point where I had become so frustrated with the situation (specifically my feelings for him) that I knew I either had to try to meet or move on. I didn't want to be caught up and lost in this world of not knowing, it was like torture for me.

I want to say though, I don't think putting deadlines on relationships is right for everyone. For us, we needed it, and we still have a deadline on our relationship now (for closing the distance). This is how both of us stay motivated to get through the hard times, there's a light at the end of our tunnel that we both can see. But I think being a little bit older, we needed it.

I wish you nothing but the best. It's hard working through an LDR, especially when you haven't met, which I know can be really frustrating.

Oh, also, (I know I'm rambling) but I wanted to say this before and didn't. I found out recently that my boyfriend didn't think we would make it more than 3 - 4 months after we met. He thought the distance was just going to be too much. I had faith in us even though I have definitely struggled with insecurity and self-sabotage in our relationship. It hurt me to find out that while I was struggling with this, he thought we weren't even going to make it and I was fighting tooth and nail so we did. What your SO said to you reminds me a lot of that.

ETA: My boyfriend and I weren't willing to engage in a relationship before we met, this had a lot to do with my drive to meet him as well.

[Zapookie]

I met my SO online and we were friends for a year before we really admitted our feelings for each other. He would always say things like he wanted to come visit me here in Australia, but I knew he had never flown overseas and didn't have a passport (although he had the money) so I just laughed when he'd say (in my opinion) dumb shit like that.

We decided that we wanted to see how things went, and to not date anyone else in the beginning of January 2011. But to be honest, I didn't feel that he was taking me serious then (he knows this too) and so in turn, I didn't want to take him seriously either, because I was scared that I'd end up wasting all this time on him. I became so dependent on him for my happiness despite that. I felt like he was ashamed of having an internet girlfriend. He used to talk to a lot of girls and I felt like I was just another one of them. Thing's honestly didn't really become serious until about April 2011. Thats sort of when we had a bit of a fight and I realised that I can't not have him be a part of my life.

He visited me July 2011 for 3 months. I wish he would have come sooner but he spent a lot of time dawdling around because he was nervous to meet me.

[sweetshay]

BTW I think I accidentally deleted someones post, along with my reply to it. Idk how but. Sorry

[kiara_silver]

I met my SO at 16, before my 17th birthday, and I wonder if age played a part in my emotions? I wasn't "as" cautious as my parents would have liked. (when my SO was here we talked about this.... he was more cautious then i was....) But I early on developed feelings for my SO, and after talking online for some time, can't remember how long, know it was at least a month. He asked me to be his girl, from there I consider this a serious relationship, but it was online so it was scary, and I think a part of me feared we would never meet, I wouldn't say it out loud or let myself think about it but in the beginning this was a worry in the back of my mind. But it was always serious for me. He's the only one ive ever given my heart to. And I now consider myself to be a very good judge of character, because he has been true and amazing to me ever since lol

[Sora1101]

Honestly I wasn't looking for romance, I was just in need of a friend, that's when life threw me a curve ball and tossed my SO my way and even if I wasn't looking to start anything serious, serious is what it became, and fast. I knew almost right away that if given the chance to date him I would go into it heart open wide and from then on I've always thought of it as a serious committed thing that I wanted to make real.

[Haley53]

Without getting into the long and short of it, yes, we both took it pretty seriously. Even before we put the label on it (he was originally hesitant based on it being online/LD), we still made it clear that we were exclusive to one another and things only progressed from there.

[Leigh]

I didn't know how serious he was but he let me know right from the start.

[Jassy_love]

I met my SO on FB we still haven't met personally... but rite from the start I was CRAZY about him. (Even before we became a we) only problem is 3 months into our relationship and he still isn't much lovey dovey. Idk if it's the fact that he's a marine and shows close to no emotion ... or he's been hurt so much that he's afraid to trust. . Idk
But he doesn't take US serious .... yet... :/

[MeganK]

my SO tried to avoid it, he was scared and was out dancing with other women and hitting on them,
i was serious from the start, i cut all the other guys off. lukcily when i finally said 'i love u'
i think is when he finally believed i was serious and wasnt going anywhere.
im starting to doubt my relationship with him now tho... and its been almst 3 years..
i feel things have started going south, he will be here in 5 days... i just hope things go smooth.

[ChibiFelicia]

Well he was just a guildie when I first met him. I was in a relationship that i didnt end successfully for ages (im no good with emotional blackmail). We started chatting, had a connection and i just thought of him as a real good friend. I then developed feelings for him kicked my then bf out (it was all a bit screwed up) and told him i liked him. We never had the exclusive talk and im not sure if either of us were serious at that point. We agreed we had to meet before anything could be decided. He came over shortly after (about 2-3 months) and stayed here for nearly 2. Thats when we were serious about each other. The second visit he made again about 2 months we siad we're gonna make this work.

[sjaneec5]

Well we met on eharmony so we were both looking for something so yes we both took it serious we talked for 2 months before meeting and making it official but for about the last 2-3 weeks before we met we decided we weren't technically exclusive but neither of us wanted to date anyone else.

[Amatory]

My SO told me from the beginning that he'd do anything to be with me, even if it meant moving over here and visiting asap because I said I didn't know if I could handle another LDR. But he's proving me wrong.

So yes, we were completely serious about it from the start. c: