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**lala** · February 9, 2012, 01:53 PM

haha I wished my SO would as much as you do lol
we are more than 6 months in a LDR.. he is pretty busy and we have 8hours time difference, so that we barely chat..we've never skyped.. but yes we send text messages and mails..

I just think that your gf is missing you so much and she is afraid that you are not,because you do fun things with your family and friends... she really has to calm down lol but I know it's difficult for her,would probably do the same. just give her time and explain her that you have also your own life and have also to share your time with other people..

**Bethypoo** · February 9, 2012, 03:11 PM

I think that she is just frustrated at the situation more than she is you. If you have seen some of the other threads, a lot of us have this issue and that is being mad at the situation but taking it out on our SO.

You are right, it does cause some issues in the relationship. Maybe bring it to her attention and ask her what she is really mad about. By the way it sounds, it is the distance/situation. Remind her that you are in it no matter the distance and that the distance does, obviously bother you as well. It is just a suggestion, but you do have to stay involved in your own life and stay busy. She needs to do the same but it is hard and it is an adjustment and sometimes it is harder than others. Just be there for her and remain sensitive. Sometimes you may just have to take it and remember that she isn't really mad at you, it is the distance she hates.

Sadly, it is something my SO has to deal with on occasion as well.

**Manoek** · February 9, 2012, 03:32 PM

Sometimes we girls go through some crazy rollercoaster like emotions.. for me personaly it doesn't always mean anything.. :P

**Tooki** · February 9, 2012, 04:59 PM

Just remind her to keep an eye on the prize

. You two are in it together.

**Haley53** · February 9, 2012, 06:08 PM

You both talk/have more "dates" than my SO and I are able to, so you should both feel incredibly grateful for it. I'm not comparing/saying my situation is worse by any means, as I don't feel it is, but to put it in perspective, you both get to spend a lot more time together than a lot of other couples; don't use it to minimise your situation, because distance is hard whether you get to talk once a day or once a week, but sometimes it can be nice to re-focus and not concentrate on what you don't have, but really all that you do, being in a situation where you're luckier than most other couples.

The other thing she has to understand is that it's important to have your own lives. It's important that you go out and have fun and enjoy your life, and it's important that she do the same. It's not fair that she punishes you by refusing to talk to you because you've made plans. Both my SO and I get a little bit "butthurt" so to speak when the other is out and about and we're stuck at home, but that's when I make the effort to do something/get involved in something for me. One example is that I'm now doing kickboxing and yoga, both classes that are good for my mental and physical health and both are classes that I enjoy immensely! Sometimes this takes conversation time away from my SO, but because it's taking care of me and doing what I need to do for me, we both often feel better about it. The same is true for when he has things to do that are good for him. Perhaps your girlfriend could consider arranging her schedule so that she has some non-Luke related activities going on in her life?

Honestly, while it's true that we girls tend to hit these points (I think everyone does sometimes), she's eventually going to need to stop sulking and reach a point of acceptance. :P We're all in the same shitty situation and none of us should be sacrificing our lives for it. I may be with someone in Dublin but I'm not going to stop living in California because of it and vice versa. Sometimes a little reassurance can feel good/be helpful, but I would honestly recommend she get involved in her own activities also.

**fitfilipina** · February 9, 2012, 06:51 PM

I definitely understand where your girlfriend is coming from. Sometimes, when my boyfriend texts me that he's gonna go out with his friends tonight or that he won't be able to call me tonight because he's busy, I get upset and do the same thing that your gf does. For me, I think I just started feeling jealous that I can't really be with him and other people get to at their leisure...and it just reminds me of the distance and makes me sad. Also, it gives me the feeling that he doens't miss me at all and is enjoying his time without me there -- which usually isn't the case at all, but you know girls

What I'd suggest is to reassure her and give her extra attention when you have to go away. Hop on the line really fast to let her know you love her and you miss and her and you wish she could be there with you, and then let her know that she'll be on your mind while you're busy for the weekend. Sometimes girls just need to hear it, even though they know it.

**Kairi19** · February 10, 2012, 07:27 AM

I sometimes react in the same way as your girlfriend - when my SO is busy out with friends or travelling around the country I sometimes get sad that I can't talk to him or join him in having fun. I worry and hope that he is being safe etc. It's stupid but I think it's what girls tend to do

So when you're busy, just send her a quick message or give her a phone call to let her know that you're thinking about her. She'll definitely appreciate it.

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