Newbie in need of advice. :)

[Ma.ramirez]

Hello everyone,

I'm new to LDR, and I really need some advice from all the veterans and other newcomers for the situation that I am in, please.

I am just about to start this relationship with this guy that I have liked for about a year now. We are both eighteen, and about to graduate high school next Saturday. He's going to Baylor for summer school and the rest of college, and is leaving the day after graduation. I'm leaving for Arizona with my family for two weeks. I'm coming back after those two weeks, but he will be gone until at least July from summer school. He's leaving again for Baylor in august, and I'm staying locally in Austin for community college. Where he is attending Baylor is only about an hour away, but I have never been in a long distance relationship before, and I really want this to work. what I am worried about is that during the school year when we won't see each other is where our relationship could possibly fall through. We both have had horrible relationship decisions in the past, and that has made us sort of guarded with our feelings, but undoubtly we feel strongly for each other and want a relationship together.

Is there some sort of special way to stay in contact with him besides texting and an occasional phone call? I feel like there is something more I can do, but not be too oncoming since we are just starting this relationship. Also, there is hope for a young romance like ours, right? Neither of is want a worthless two week high school one, we both want this to work, however I'm transferring to another school after one year of the community college to a university that is all the way in the panhandle of Texas. One more thing I'm concerned about (I told you I'm new to this), how can I trust that he will stay loyal to me and ensure that his feelings for me don't disappear?

I appreciate any feedback, thank you for taking the time to read this and/or respond.

[Italia10]

Hey! First, congrats on graduating. This is an awesome time for you...enjoy every minute of the festivities. About starting your LDR, I believe the most important things is that you are both on the same page. Since you are just starting your relationship this can be tricky. But, you can discuss things such as visits, communication and when you will talk. One way you can communicate is by getting a camera and using SKYPE or another video service on the internet. SKYPE has been the most important part of communication for my SO and I because its FREE! As far as trust and loyalty, it does not matter if your SO is near or far, if you lose either, there will be problems. So dont fixate on it but make sure you both stay HONEST with each other. Good luck and have and awesome summer. Enjoy. I hope some of this helps.

[amb85]

Hey! First, congrats on graduating. This is an awesome time for you...enjoy every minute of the festivities. About starting your LDR, I believe the most important things is that you are both on the same page. Since you are just starting your relationship this can be tricky. But, you can discuss things such as visits, communication and when you will talk. One way you can communicate is by getting a camera and using SKYPE or another video service on the internet. SKYPE has been the most important part of communication for my SO and I because its FREE! As far as trust and loyalty, it does not matter if your SO is near or far, if you lose either, there will be problems. So dont fixate on it but make sure you both stay HONEST with each other. Good luck and have and awesome summer. Enjoy. I hope some of this helps.

I totally agree. For it to work you both have to be on the same page. It will work if you both put effort into making it work. And trust is a major issue regardless of the distance. If you guys do not trust each other it will cause problems. SKYPE is a lifesaver!!!!

[kissoflife61]

The old-fashioned way of communicating by writing letters is a great way to keep the love alive. It's extra special and exciting to get something in the mail.
Hope things go well!

[Swederica]

The old-fashioned way of communicating by writing letters is a great way to keep the love alive. It's extra special and exciting to get something in the mail.
Hope things go well!

I agree. IMs and stuff is nice. But letters are always there. And they are there in the physical world too!

Good luck in your relationship. Wish you the best of luck!

[Zephii]

Were you already friends for the year you liked him, or was it admiration from afar kinda thing?

Trust is a hard thing to gain and to keep for both people, but remember that statistically, people in LDRs do not cheat more than those CD. It's a myth. Just agree to always have only honesty between you, and stick to it even when what you're about to say makes you uncomfortable. Communication is all you have, so use it to your best advantage.
I'm also a big fan of skype - which you can use without webcams if you're not into that kind of thing. Handwritten letters are also great. Packages are great too!

It's important to make your LD SO still feel part of your life, still be included. Ways to help with this are if you go out somewhere and you get a free showbag, get him one too, or those free lollies after dinner at a resturant, the mini shampoos from a hotel you traveled too and wished they were with you - that kind of thing.