Not talking about my SO of course! There is this friend of mine, Ro, whom I think has a strong crush on me or just some obsession. I do not like him as anything more than a friend, and not even a close one. I could deal with someone hitting on me, it's happened before. I hope I won't sound bitchy but since I began my relationship, there were other guys who liked me...of course it all ended in being friendship only and I avoided those who did seem too obsessive or dangerous to my relationship, because I really would not like making my SO feeling our relationship in danger because of obsessive people.
But this guy Ro is different to all of those previous cases...because he is just TOO obsessive and I cannot get rid of him. I'm not one who likes being aggressive to people and directly telling them "get lost", or "leave me alone, I don't like you". But he's really, really doing things i do not like now. He posts every day on my facebook wall (more even than my SO does, he's more into inbox usually) and now he's begun to tell me I should break up because I am just a proud girl who won't let her guy go because I'm proud, unexperienced and "clinged" to this relationship because my SO is my first boyfriend. He says I am going to suffer a lot with this long distance situation because soon or late I am going to need "something more than talking". He implied soon or late I will need sex. I won't lie saying I've never felt the impulse, but I am one of those who plans on waiting until marriage or at least a few years, and my SO agrees with me. I know many think differently and I do not judge them at all, I do not think it is wrong, just not for me, at the moment at least.
Then he also asked me what my boyfriend's career is, which is arts, and Ro goes saying that's for stupid people and that I am too smart for an art student. He's about to graduate from med school and he thinks he's superior to anyone else, and I agree that medicine is really really hard but I jut think it is wrong to go saying other people are dumb, my SO is WAY more cultured than this guy who has never read a book aside from his medicine texts. So well, I won't add unnecessary details on this, the thing is I really can't stand when he talks like this about my SO when he does not even know him. I don't think I am the only one who hates it when someone goes against your loved one.
Ro has never directly told me that he likes me and I really hate having to say I'm quite sure he does (I hate saying guys like me, it sounds so bitchy :/ ). He had told me with names and details of who his ex-crush was, and now he says he's got a new one and "he can't tell me who it is", but she casually is younger than him, as I am, studies a design-related career like me...and has a long distance relationship. It could be a coincidence, yes, but then he said "she still has a long distance boyfriend because she is proud, unexperienced, and clinged" ....the same exact words he's told me when he talks about my relationship. Same description, same case... I wish it was someone else but I really doubt it. It's not normal either that he calls me at the time where I've told him a thousand times that I'm usually skyping with my SO, or that he knows my full schedule, or says he wants to name his first daughter after me.
If I'm right in my assumption, he's even told me that my SO has to be cheating on me. He said "she does not notice that he must not even be in love with her and must be cheating". I just did not listen because I do trust my boyfriend.
He also recently talks a lot about how he's urgently looking for a gf because he's 23 and he's never had one. He talks a lot about the need during youth to have sex. So this combined with him trying to make me break up with Ulysses seems to me like it's getting...unhealthy.
Sorry if it sounds a lot like a rant/blog entry but I think the details were needed. I'd like to know what you would do in this situation...do you think this is a normal "friendship" or is it really getting unhealthy? If so, how should I end it without sounding too bitchy or being too mean? (or should I be mean this time?) I really have troubles in being direct :/ I hope someone can give me some advice on this.
But this guy Ro is different to all of those previous cases...because he is just TOO obsessive and I cannot get rid of him. I'm not one who likes being aggressive to people and directly telling them "get lost", or "leave me alone, I don't like you". But he's really, really doing things i do not like now. He posts every day on my facebook wall (more even than my SO does, he's more into inbox usually) and now he's begun to tell me I should break up because I am just a proud girl who won't let her guy go because I'm proud, unexperienced and "clinged" to this relationship because my SO is my first boyfriend. He says I am going to suffer a lot with this long distance situation because soon or late I am going to need "something more than talking". He implied soon or late I will need sex. I won't lie saying I've never felt the impulse, but I am one of those who plans on waiting until marriage or at least a few years, and my SO agrees with me. I know many think differently and I do not judge them at all, I do not think it is wrong, just not for me, at the moment at least.
Then he also asked me what my boyfriend's career is, which is arts, and Ro goes saying that's for stupid people and that I am too smart for an art student. He's about to graduate from med school and he thinks he's superior to anyone else, and I agree that medicine is really really hard but I jut think it is wrong to go saying other people are dumb, my SO is WAY more cultured than this guy who has never read a book aside from his medicine texts. So well, I won't add unnecessary details on this, the thing is I really can't stand when he talks like this about my SO when he does not even know him. I don't think I am the only one who hates it when someone goes against your loved one.
Ro has never directly told me that he likes me and I really hate having to say I'm quite sure he does (I hate saying guys like me, it sounds so bitchy :/ ). He had told me with names and details of who his ex-crush was, and now he says he's got a new one and "he can't tell me who it is", but she casually is younger than him, as I am, studies a design-related career like me...and has a long distance relationship. It could be a coincidence, yes, but then he said "she still has a long distance boyfriend because she is proud, unexperienced, and clinged" ....the same exact words he's told me when he talks about my relationship. Same description, same case... I wish it was someone else but I really doubt it. It's not normal either that he calls me at the time where I've told him a thousand times that I'm usually skyping with my SO, or that he knows my full schedule, or says he wants to name his first daughter after me.
If I'm right in my assumption, he's even told me that my SO has to be cheating on me. He said "she does not notice that he must not even be in love with her and must be cheating". I just did not listen because I do trust my boyfriend.
He also recently talks a lot about how he's urgently looking for a gf because he's 23 and he's never had one. He talks a lot about the need during youth to have sex. So this combined with him trying to make me break up with Ulysses seems to me like it's getting...unhealthy.
Sorry if it sounds a lot like a rant/blog entry but I think the details were needed. I'd like to know what you would do in this situation...do you think this is a normal "friendship" or is it really getting unhealthy? If so, how should I end it without sounding too bitchy or being too mean? (or should I be mean this time?) I really have troubles in being direct :/ I hope someone can give me some advice on this.
!!
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