"They Weren't Who/What I Thought They Were!"

[Lissy]

I couldn't find a thread similar to this, so if there is one, I apologize. :3

Just thought this might create an interesting discussion. Is there anyone who found out that their SO wasn't quite who you thought they were? This could be anything from lying about some aspect of themselves (such as "I found out they lied about their age.") to simply being different than you expected ("When we first started talking, I pictured him/her as looking one way, but they turned out to look completely different.") This doesn't have to only apply to couples who met online. Maybe some of the couples that knew each other before they were LD were surprised to find out something about their SO, too (for example, thinking they were very laid back, then going to their apartment and finding out they were really nitpicky about being clean and organized).

As for me, I didn't have a very clear picture of what I thought my SO looked like when we first started talking (we started out as roleplay buddies). I just didn't think about it, but I was surprised when we finally added each other on facebook and I saw pictures for the first time. We hadn't confessed any feelings yet, but I just thought, "I never even thought about what she looked like before!" It was a happy surprise; I found out how pretty she is, and I was immediately fixated on the fact that she has freckles (I love freckles). She's also very sweet, mild-mannered, and polite, but as our relationship progressed, I found out that she's very witty, too. So, all good surprises here. ^^

Anyone want to share?

[lala]

so you mean a kind of prejudices?
well I met my SO once six years ago on our vacation. I haven't talked that much with him and just with the way he behaved I thought that he was conceited.. I din't like him at all.
Well last year when I went abroad we met and hangged out and he was totally different from the picture I created in my head. He was funny, nice,.. a real gentleman and with the time I have fallen for him.

[Moon]

My guy and I work on the same team, and became friendly pretty quickly. We're in the IT field, and he's smart as hell, so even though we have our pics on the company intranet, I pictured a typical IT geek personality-wise. From our conversations, I kinda though he was the lonely loner, lives to work type, although he's wickedly funny.

Well, he totally IS an IT geek But he can also build a car from a pile of rusty parts, can build a house from the ground up, he cooks, is a fabulous dancer (and you know what that means, ladies!), smells nice, knows about a lot more than technology, has a passion for philosophy, and is a bit of a social butterfly with his very tight group of friends. His friends absolutely love him and always talk about how genuinely kind and good he is

I guess I expected someone who was a bit of a misfit, and instead he turned out to be a guy who is comfortable with himself, who also has hidden talents that never cease to amaze me.

[kiara_silver]

We met online, and spent the first 2 years of our relationship dating online. So I was so nervous about our first in person experience. But as soon as I saw him, it was instantly Oh theres my SO! I even told my mom when he was on the phone, it's like he stepped out of the computer. And then again later, hes the same. Wasn't any awkwardness or any differences other then now i could reach out and touch him. I mean sure i got to experience a different side of hm, see little new things, but over all he was the same man i had fallen in love with, there weren't any unpleasant surprises.

[ChibiFelicia]

I met my SO online and i didnt even know what he looked like till i picked him up at the airport. We had been in an online relationship i guess for about 3 months, he had sent me a photo but one of those silly pctures the night before his flight cause i was like "eh you know what i look like so you can find me but you're gonna freak me out if you jsut tap my shoulder and be like hey im jeff" lol it literally was the smallest picture, like a thumbnail >.< he did it to wind me up btw. I honestly didnt think about what he looked like till that night. So it was a suprise. If im being honest i thought he had some self confidence issues cause he sent me such a tiny picture. To my suprise he was just being who he is...a lil teasing a hole. He isnt the hottest looking guy but he just has that quality about him that makes him so dam sexy.

He's exactly like how he is online. I to this day find him so interesting. I guess at first i thought he was a lil silly and him being a veteran i thought he'd be hmm more serious? And im gonna step on some people toes here but just basing this on the young military guys i know around here (i live in a military town) they're rude and can get aggressive. going on a night out me and my mates can point out the miltary guys and we always stay away from them. I just find the newer recruits to be a lil too brash thats all. Any way he's such a well rounded person, logical, intelligent and so hard working. He's so attentive too, which at first found uncomfortable.

So yes some things i already knew but i found out so much more about him. And there were a fair few suprises xD

[Brieasaurus]

We met online and at first I lied about what I looked like and how old I was. However, once I told the truth and such, everything became better than it was before when I was lying. We both sent pictures and skyped well before meeting. Our first time meeting, I was so afraid that he wouldn't feel the same or that I wouldn't (my dad kept telling me it was okay if that happened, so didn't help haha), but it was perfect. He was exactly what I thought he'd be like besides being more outgoing than I thought he would be (he says he's just comfortable with me ) and then he told me that I was more perfect than he thought I would be.

[lucybelle]

When I met my SO I figure he just wanted to get into my pants and that was about as far as the relationship would go. I was right about the first part, and then we both sort of realized how much we liked each other!

[floridaellen]

I met my SO on Facebook. When I first saw him, he was little heavier (not fat! I just thought he was like a rail :P) than I expected. But I loved it!

[Kiara]

ahahaha Lucybelle, I like your post! It worked similar for us! There was physical attraction since the beginning, but we didn't think it could have worked. But then... we are still here, having fun together and shaping our lifes in the same direction! He is not the arrogant/selfish person he wanted to look like, and I'm positively surprised! Now we just closed the distance and started to live together, so let's see if other surprise are coming...

[Lizzie Blue]

I did have this experience!! Its complicated to explain and I don't want to rehash a part of our relationship that we already worked through so I will be brief.

We met online and at first were just friends that enjoyed the same interests. It was during those first few innocent days that my BF lied/exaggerated about his job situation. It started out innocent enough, and probably would never have mattered. But when we started having very strong feelings for each other then started a relationship, he had no idea how to set the record straight. I always felt something "didn't fit" but I could never figure out what. During our second in-person meeting, I questioned him again and he came clean. Despite the lies/exaggerations with that topic, I never once doubted his love for me. He was scared to death of losing me because of what he had done. But I told him he either needed to let me in 100% so that I could love the real him or he had to let me go. He chose to let me in

I have always loved him for who he was....and it would never have mattered if he was a janitor or a multimillionaire. I loved him for being the person he was and loving me the way he did. We have stayed together since then and that was almost 3 months ago.

But it took a lot of trust...it took a lot of honesty. He gave me time to work through the process of getting to know ALL of the real him...he allowed me time to question and have doubts and he took the time to ease my doubts and reassure me. There was definitely effort that went into working through something like that. So it is possible if its something you both want!

[Zapookie]

LOL well my SO is my first boyfriend and I've never really been close to any guys, so for some reason I thought he'd be really guy-ish and not shower often or brush his teeth and just be very dirty.... but I was pleasantly surprised haha. He was very strict with his general cleanliness which was great. He also didn't tell me that he pops his knuckles/joints all the time and that's something that I used to hate but I learned to deal with because of him. It was also just very different seeing him in person as to on cam. He has a really faint scar across his cheek which I never saw on webcam but it doesn't take away from his looks.

[Haley53]

The only issue I've had with this is my ex, really. We spoke through the forum on which we met and also through MSN quite a bit before we actually Skyped/exchanged pictures with one another. He sent me a picture from a side angle and he seemed attractive enough? It was the image of him I had in my head for a while. Then when we finally Skyped, well... Let's kindly say it'd been a flattering shot! We dated for a year and a half though. I somewhat regret that relationship, really, mainly because of the reasons I stayed with him, even though he did make me happy and he was good for me in a lot of ways at the time. You live, you learn, I suppose.

[lademoiselle]

I can't say I've had any major surprises in terms of my SO's character since we've been honest about ourselves from day one. He does have some mannerisms and habits that take a bit of getting used to though

[Bethypoo]

My SO and I have known each other for about 6 years so i knew what he looked like before hand. And I wasn't physically attracted to him either until that one day where he said something and then I had that moment of "hey, when did he get to be someone i could like?"

Everyone has preconceived notions of others when they don't know them in person. And whether people want to admit it or not, there is some aspect of themselves that wasn't quite true or a made out to be a bit more than it was. But think about F2F dates. We only reveal the best of ourselves or exaggerate the truth. Then when you get to know them you might find out they didn't really have those abs, or it was them who dropped the turkey on thanksgiving, or they aren't as good with money as they told you nor do they make as much.

But yea, I think there have been people I make up what they look like or who I think they are in my head and am wrong. It happens to us all.

[Dauntedpoet]

Well the first 3 months of our friendship online, I thought my SO was a woman, and while we played music trivia, I offered 'her' advice about 'her' failing relationship and 'she' listened to stories of my failing marriage. Imagine how startled I was to find out she was a he.

The biggest surprise/misconception...... we both thought the other was a 'prude'. His stereotypical Brit reserve led me to believe that, and he thought I was "the old school teacher type" because I was respecting his reserve.

I broke the misconception by sending him a scorching pervy/erotic/detailed email, and he admitted his 'teacher' assumption about me.

As a joke.. when I went to see him for our first visit as more than friends.. I dressed 'school teacher-ish'. He reacted just as I thought the would at the airport, after hugging me, I asked him how I looked and he said, "Well you look like a school teacher!".
I leaned over and said "Yes but a school teacher would be wearing something under her dress." BEST LOOK OF SHOCK EVER!